Of Gods And Mortals (WIP - Updated 18/11/17)

[MissBrainProblems]

For those who just want the link: https://dashingdon.com/go/1980

I know that at least a couple of you have seen this game on DashingDon before now; I didn’t want to make a thread up until this point because I prefer there to actually be some work done before I start showing stuff like this off.

Of Gods And Mortals (A working title) is a CYOA about being… Well, a god. The game starts at the very birth of the universe, where you and your fellow gods begin to create the world, and will move throughout the ages of humanity, with you guiding your mortals along. It’s inspired by the works of Joseph Campbell and the writings of Michael Kirkbride. For the sake of artistic license as well as political neutrality, the other gods in the game will all be of my own original creation, though with some obvious inspirations from deities of various world religions.

The rough roadmap I have in my head is something along the lines of:

Chapter 1: Gods Amongst Men (Pre-History to 1000 B.C.E., themed around works such as The Epic of Gilgamesh)
Chapter 2: Gods on Their Mountains (1000 B.C.E. to 400 B.C.E., themed around the Hellenistic heroic age, works such as The Iliad and The Odyssey)
Chapter 3: Gods in Their Heavens (400 B.C.E. to 600 C.E., themed around the rise of Buddhism, Taoism, and the New Testament)
Chapter 4: Gods at War (600 C.E. to 1500 C.E., themed around the spread of Christianity, Islam, and the Holy Wars of the period, including the conversion of Pagans)
Chapter 5: Gods at Contemplation (1500 C.E. to 1900 C.E., themed around the Christian Reformation, and the rise of syncretic religions such as Sikhism.)
Chapter 6: Gods Forgotten (1900 C.E. to our modern day, themed with the rise of secularism and irreligion.)
Chapter 7: ??? (A grand finale to the story.)

Right now I’m halfway through Chapter 1 - You’ve met another god and their followers in the physical, mortal world for the first time, and soon you will be able to decide

The three “primary stats” are Power - which determines your ability to force change through sheer brute force - Mysticality - which determines your ability to subtly weave change into the world - and Majesty - your ability to command change merely with your divine voice.

I currently have four “morality stats”, which are subject to change and expansion:

Fear vs Love - Whether your mortals tremble at your divine might, or are comforted in your divine embrace.
Competition vs Cooperation - Whether you emphasize individuality or community amongst your followers.
Stability vs Spontaneity - Whether you emphasize safety or exploration amongst your followers.
Monotheism vs Polytheism - Whether you claim to be the only true god, or whether you recognize other gods as similarly divine. At the end of Chapter 1, you will be able to decide whether to set up or join a pantheon (Polytheistic) or whether to proclaim yourself the sole ruler of all creation (Monotheistic).

Please feel free to leave any comments, criticisms, or questions either in this thread or in a private message to me. I will do my best to update this on a regular basis, but I am inclined towards periods of laziness and/or lack of creative energy and/or mass amounts of creative anxiety.

[Ender1]

Will you have abilities? to aid your people during war times and peaceful times

[Taylor_Enean]

Ooer, that’s different. Do keep it up, please, quite enjoyed this.

[VelvetDivine]

Fantastic! I did find a small error at the beginning of Chapter 1. I chose to appear as a goddess but the second option refers to my character as “He” while still acknowledging my status as “Goddess”.

[Tragik_Ending]

Interesting concept, I do have a couple of questions.

• Are we going to be able to pose as mortals?
• Are there going to be any romances?
• Are we going to have any kind of relationship stat with other gods?

I also found a couple of typos that I’ll post later if someone didn’t already get them.

[FutbolDude21586]

A few things I’ve found:

Summary

What should be that.

Fire should be first.

[MissBrainProblems]

Absolutely! If you take a hostile stance against the other god in Chapter 1, you can even have a divine duel with your powers!

[MissBrainProblems]

Whoops! Forgot to turn the “He” into the variable for third person. Fixed it now, though. Thank you!

[MissBrainProblems]

1. You will be able to pose as mortals during the Chapter 2, Gods on Their Mountains, as gods in antiquity were often purported to do.

2. There will be “romances” in a sense, yes, though obviously the romance a god experiences is much different than the romance a mortal experiences. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to implement the option to romance both gods and mortals at some point.

3. I’ve always been a bit averse to hard, numerical relationship stats; the general case for relationships with other gods will be something like:

Whether you’re in a “romance” with them, whether or not you’re in a pantheon with them, and whether or not you or them are the head of the pantheon, rather than an equivalent member. If you decide to take a monotheistic path, you can turn former gods into subservient angel-type beings, or cast them out and have them reviled as demons by your followers.

[VioletHikari]

A couple of things I would like to point out:

Over here this line is kind of out of place because I made the choice to have you people be hunters, not farmers.

Over here, you just need to capitalize the first letter in the name, that’s all

[kingzug]

I immediately went about making my followers kind-hearted warriors

[Tragik_Ending]

A couple of mistakes

was

don’t know

Just using attempted would make it sound less wordy

tries sounds better because you used attempt the sentence before

take

frantically

it’s

[PisceanLover]

Is Eldir a possible RO?

[Wol]

Some language issues that I found:

‘Slayed’ is actually the past tense of the slang usage of ‘slay’ used to mean ‘to amuse’. Although it is gaining traction in the United States as acceptable to use as the past tense of ‘slay’ used with the meaning of ‘to kill’, the proper past tense of ‘slay’ used with such a meaning is in fact ‘slain’.

‘Hands’ should be ‘hand’.

‘As such’ sounds better if you put it before ‘I allow them’ and add a comma at the end of it.

Since I am speaking directly to my followers, ‘They’ should be ‘I’ and ‘Their’ should be ‘My’.

A ‘smiled’ should be a ‘smile’

The following are not strictly errors but did feel a bit awkward or not make sense.

It feels awkward to be repeating ‘it is’ twice in the same clause alone. If you just removed that whole clause and left it as ‘A name that was meant for you’, it sounds a lot better.

If I select the bottom option, given that the gourd hasn’t been invented yet, how are they carrying this water? In cupped hands? That’s not really practical.

[lokidemon007]

Will the deity be able to have demigod children?

[MissBrainProblems]

I’m planning on it, yes! In Chapter 2, which parallels the age of Greek myth, demigods will definitely be possible. In Chapter 3, which parallels the birth of Christianity, it will be entirely possible to perform your own immaculate conception to help usher in a new age for your faith!

[Bre]

That was really fun.

[MissBrainProblems]

Slight spoilers, but at the end of Chapter , if you’re on the Sedentary Route, depending on what has taken place, you will either rob Eldir of his power and seal him away, form a pantheon with him either subservient to or on equal terms with you, or will be invited to serve under him as a part of his own pantheon, if he defeats you when and if hostilities erupt between the two of you. The same applies to Icraura, if you’re on the Nomadic Route, but she will offer you an equivalent position in her pantheon if she defeats you. Either way, I’m planning on allowing you to either take one of them as a divine spouse - either for actual romance reasons or to ease the integration of their followers into your village/tribe - or to offer your hand in divine marriage to them - for the same, but to help your followers integrate with their village/tribe easier. I’m planning to keep things fluid enough that the story doesn’t branch too much whether you were defeated in Chapter 1 or not.

[Tragik_Ending]

Are we going to be able to choose our appearance in our mortal form?

[MissBrainProblems]

I’m a bit averse to choosing minute details like hair or eye color or whatever, but I will allow a masculine god to appear as a feminine mortal, a feminine god to appear as a masculine mortal, and a neutral god to appear as either, depending upon your goals for being in mortal form.