Night Shift - Seeking Beta Testers

gender-choice

#1

Hello, I’ve written a 100k+ word CS game that was not selected as a finalist for the contest.

To play the game, view it here on DashingDon:

https://dashingdon.com/play/djrichiec/night-shift---beta-test/mygame/index.php?cb=96891

In Night Shift you play as a new security guard in a world where law enforcement has been regulated out of everyday life. You’ll soon find this new environment has led to a patient monster being unleashed in your city. Will you do the right thing? Will you even be able to tell the difference?


#2

You could upload it to dashingdon and give out the link in a private pm thread.
That way you can add a save feature more easily for better testing and, more importantly get feedback quicker and possibly better because your testers can discuss things with you and each other.


#3

May I get access I would really enjoy it


#4

Thanks for telling me about dashingdon, I did upload it there.


#5

Not sure if it’s because I’m too new but I can’t PM anyone, just get a “You may not PM that user” error. I can post the DashingDon link publicly or email/FB it to anyone interested in testing!


#6

It’s prolly cause you are too new. Wait a bit, be more active, maybe use the time to polish some things about the game?


#7

can’t find it in dashingdon


#8

If it’s not meant to be public they likely set it to invisible on there.


#10

Can i beta test your gsme please


#11

I’m still unable to send PMs so here’s a public link to the game anyone can use to beta test:

https://dashingdon.com/play/djrichiec/night-shift---beta-test/mygame/index.php?cb=96891

Thanks to everyone who has reached out to volunteer!


#12

this story is excellent :+1:


#13

You know what, i know i have finals and all but your stuff is good.

So if you still need betas im you guy.


#14

Yes! I appreciate ANYONE willing to give their time up to play the game and send me some feedback.


#15

Wasn’t sure what to expect, but I enjoyed it!

Gold!

  • I appreciate the glossaries you included in the stats screen. A lot of games just assume you understand everything that’s happening which I find frustrating. Especially when it comes to what the stats actually do. Though I noticed you left out the explanation for discretion, freedom, and deception.

  • Not a big fan of the way the stats work. The stats only go up a tiny bit at a time, then when we get to the point in the game where we choose how we bettered ourselves we end up losing other stats for the sake of raising one. Also we don’t get the little message at the bottom that tells us what was raised/decreased for that part.

  • I keep being referred to as a man, even though I picked female at the beginning. Example:

“It won’t give me any quarters. You the new guy? The one Day-Day hired?”
“That’s me. Name’s Jordan. How much in quarters were you trying to get?”

  • After seeing the man die, we are asked if we want to talk about it with our lover. If we pick either of the no options it just keeps looping back to the original question (if we want to confide in our lover)

  • If I decide to cover Joe’s shift it’s basically impossible to survive the man with the shotgun- I always died. Even with an influence of 67% I can’t talk him down. What’s worse, I have to lie about the situation either way. I can’t call for backup or anything else, my only choices if I don’t confront him are to say there wasn’t a disturbance/I took care of the disturbance. Both of those choices take away big percentages on my stats.

  • At the beginning of the last chapter we can either sneak or run by some women. When I chose sneak, I got the second half of the running dialogue after I spoke to them: “You start jogging again to maintain the pretense of the original sprinting” (I was never sprinting, I was sneaking)

  • The ending… I get killed by Victoria and my lover dies no matter what I do. Is this the only possible path? And Blond was killing people over a dream? What?

Some suggestions:

  • A content warning. There’s violence (gore), sexual content (rape), and slurs (the f-word).

  • In the story we’re always puking or reeling when we see gore. Maybe it doesn’t have that sort of affect on us? I think we should be able to choose how we react.

  • An option to be single. We could live with someone other than our bf/gf, like a roommate or family member.

That’s about all I got right now. Overall I had fun and liked the humor you peppered in. Brawn Stamos the uncle Jesse themed crossfit is definitely a favorite!


#16

Okay the switch from security work to stealing comes from nowhere so you may want to add some foreshadoing.

Confirming regarding a man,

I think you should have opinion of having the codes already translated in the text as it was tedious to constantly move between glosary and the game.

Not fan of not being able to survive in any way. Game goes to horor too suddenly Imho


#17

Continuing the discussion from Night Shift - Seeking Beta Testers:

Thank you so much for your feedback! Pointing out the incorrect references to gender is super duper helpful! I am considering adding explanations for discretion/freedom/deception- I haven’t yet because they’re not real stats.

I will take a look at the endless loop you’re talking about. Was that in the final chapter? I will also add new branches and options for the shotgun assault segment.

[spoiler]There are actually seven different endings. The best ending requires that you find the solid proof of Victoria’s connection to the crimes before you confront them and that you show mercy to Victoria during the ending.

The Dream isn’t WHY Blond kills, just part of his internal justification, part of his mythos as he sees it. This segment is only experienced when you are abducted by Blond and is sort of a reward for the players who end up on that path.[/spoiler]

Thank you for the criticisms of the plot and prose- I will be taking all of this to heart and every change to the story is this big internal struggle for me. THANK YOU!!!


#18

Okay the switch from security work to stealing comes from nowhere so you may want to add some foreshadoing.

Duality and complexity of nature are some of the themes that I tried to stick to when writing the prose and structuring the plot of the work. The change in tone of behavior is deliberately stark. You get a little heads up when you read the synopsis.

I think you should have opinion of having the codes already translated in the text as it was tedious to constantly move between glosary and the game.

I’ll consider this, I honestly already feel there is too much hand-holding. You and your peers work in a specific industry where you know the jargon and procedures; you wouldn’t be taking extra time for exposition. I don’t expect the player to come into the game already knowing this stuff, but I do expect players who care to take the time (about a minute) to read the glossary and learn about the stuff they don’t already know.

Not fan of not being able to survive in any way. Game goes to horor too suddenly Imho

Not sure which segment of the plot you’re talking about but there are no instances in the game where death is unavoidable; if you die you have made a poor choice or tried to do something you weren’t good at. The game also takes advantage of a checkpoint system I built myself so if you die before the final chapter you can restart that chapter without losing any other progress.

Thank you for your feedback! I am super appreciative of all the people who’ve tested the game so far and can’t wait to hear more criticisms of the work! This is a super good exercise in being coachable and listening to my audience; I am humbled by the attention and the time taken to guide me.


#19

@Djrichiec the return to the beginning of the chapter is not working. I got "how far line 1082 : bad label undefined "
Also maybe you can make some game skills easier to raise. It’s quite hard to pass some skill checkpoints or get a good ending without dying.


#20

@Djrichiec I have a quick question, as I did already managed to Kill Blond and get Victoria arresting, with my girlfriend surviving

Is there any possible path where we cuff Blond and we don’t get killed by Victoria?


#21
  • CH5: Even though I’ve told the truth in all my reports, my honesty was at 51% and my report said: “has exhibited a middling level of truthfulness in the reports she has submitted. Several instances of deviation from fact have been noted; it is not known whether these examples were the result of deception or negligence. Officer Crawford is given a SATISFACTORY rating in this category.”

TBH that kind of bothered me since earlier in the game, your honesty takes a hit when you lie to your gf/bf about stealing. IMO it should only decrease their relationship with you rather than have a direct affect on your honesty since the honesty stat correlates with your job rather than your relationship.

  • Also CH5, if I confront the old janitor by talking my way out I get an error that starts like this:

I can’t upload pics here or copy/paste error messages so I have to type the whole thing out. If the beginning part doesn’t hell you find it, tell me so I can type out the rest.

-Still haven’t gotten the good ending.Even when I collect all the evidence against the wife, she always ends up killing me or coming back. I even went to prison. Why wouldn’t I turn over the evidence against her to keep her from showing up and killing me?