Wasn’t Hades also filthy stinking rich? Which is one reason he was so mild compared to the others? I remember a story about the reason Poseiden is such a vindictive asshole being that he got the sea as his domain which is neither as nice as Olympus nor as much of a treasure trove of every sort of mineral as the underworld.
Zeus is the worst. Hera should have just slaughtered his ass and took over the throne.
Of course, my ideal Queen of the Olympians is Hecate.
Hera tossed her kid off the top for being ugly
Maybe I don’t know enough about him but, what did Zeus do that was so bad? Seduce a bunch of mortal women who weren’t his wife/sister? Hera poisoned Herakles so that he went insane and murdered his family, and spent a good deal of time and effort doing everything she could to ruin his life, all because he was the bastard of her husband and a mortal woman. Hera deserved to have all sorts of horrible things done to her as well.
Aphrodite just think of all her kids
@ Shoelip
Well a lot of his “seduction” wasn’t always on the consensual side. Plus he was generally an uncompromising jerk to mortals when they stepped out of line, and he had a lot of hypocritical double standards when it came to his own behavior, but when you’re king of the gods those are the perks of the job.
Probably the worst thing he did was snatch up Ganymede as one of his sexual conquests and he was a young boy at the time. Granted this sort of thing was acceptable back in ancient Greece, and there are differing versions of the myth saying he loved Gany in a non-sexual way, but…eh still pretty pedo I think.
Hera wasn’t much better though to my knowledge she never did any pedo stuff like Zeus did.
Greek god summary:
-Might is right
-If you like someone, try to seduce them. If unsuccessful, punish, abduct or rape them
-If your spouse is unfaithful, punish their lovers and or children
-Kill or imprison your kids to keep the throne
-Kill your dad to get the throne
-Make fun of cripples
-Pick mortal favorites and visit misfortune on those who dare to do anything to them, however justified
-Abandon your half-mortal kids to the tender mercies of your jealous spouse
-Smite any human who compares him or herself to the gods (a bit OK) or who dares to criticize the gods
Did I miss anything?
From what I remember most of the Greek gods were pretty big assholes in general since they were more explanations for why the world sucked than attempts at controlling people through dogma.
I wonder what the Mesopotamian gods were like. From what I understand the place was even worse than Greece… Considering what it’s like now I can’t imagine it could have been much better just a few thousand years ago.
As long as Tartarus (Hell) is involved, I’m all for it.
Uh… irony seems pretty common, at least on the hero’s side. Or am I thinking of Romans?
Not like Hercules had such a dance on roses.
Sure he was fucking bearstrong, but his story is a tragic one.
In danger of sounding like a masochist asshole those traits are the reason I like the old Greek gods.
They had faults, just like any mortal man or woman they were imperfect. Although I’m not sure how to explain why I like it, I just know it amuses me for some reason that they were essentially a bunch of power-tripping children living da life having drinking binges and whatnot in heaven while fucking around (sometimes literally) with the mortals.
@Shoelip Hades wasn’t quite ‘rich’. He was a god a wealth (at least at some point of time), but wasn’t really favored in the myths as being wealthy himself. In fact his home, the underworld, has always been seen as a bit of a dump.
Oh, and as for why Zeus was evil: Think Jock (as in stereotypical bully Jock, in ‘darker’ teen movies where he actually cripples the nerd and/or kills them). Now imagine that Jock, if he didn’t get in trouble for rape and murder. Now imagine if that Jock was also your stereotypical shellshocked 'nam (or whatever other war) veteran (as in paranoid and jumpy). Now imagine that Jock was also ruled over the world and had all kinds of superpowers. Now you have Zeus.
@ScarletGeisha I’d have to argue that the best ruler to have overthrown Zeus would have been Hades himself. He was both more central to the Myths (being Zeus’s brother, and one of the three sons of the titans), and generally a pretty level headed, nice guy. He also would have functionally been a good leader, considering the personality he normally was attributed.
So yea, that story line in Disney’s rape of the Greek myths (a fitting concept considering what most Greek myths where about) title ‘Hercules’, where ‘Hades’ tries to take over the Kingdom of Go- sorry, Mount Olympus, would have actually been most certainly a good thing.
No doubt Hades would be a better ruler than Zeus but I love Hecate so she has my support. I will even use my skeleton army to make my point.
ScarletGeisha, if you’re looking for someone to champion as a feminist ideal Hera is a pretty poor choice. She was basically a crazed, vindictive b*tch, who tended to take out her jealousy on innocent children and other women.
Athena would be a much better choice. She is generally portrayed as wise, compassionate towards mortals, and rewards valor and heroism (although the Trojan’s might disagree)
Other gods who are “good guys” often include Apollo (rides to the rescue to fight monsters, supports music and art), Hephaestus (outwardly ugly, but a sensitive soul and loved peace though he forged weapons), and Artemis (protector of nature, and also women during childbirth).
@Vermander Now, I don’t really like Hera myself. She’s someone who frequently throws other women under the bus. Women who are victims. Though she gets angry at Zeus, she’s a victim-blamer and by extension a slut-shamer. Still, that’s no reason to call her a bitch. Using pejorative language specifically targeted at women would just be contributing to the cycle of women throwing each other under buses.
My comment was meant to express this: If Hera is so angry at Zeus, why not just murder him? I’d rather anyone but Zeus to take the throne.
Athena is indeed a good choice, but I’m on Team Hecate so… SKELETON ARMIES!
Almost all of the gods have their bad sides. The biggest problem is that they can be incredibly vindictive. If you offend one somehow it could mean horrible suffering not only for you, but for your family or even your entire city-state.
I think the big thing to remember is that while they may like individual mortals, even the nicer ones don’t care about the happiness and well being of humanity in general.
I think Hecate is kind of a “fringe” figure in Greco-Roman mythology. She’s a composite of several earlier dieties that is sometimes akwardly shoe-horned into the Olympic pantheon. I know the Romans associated her with crossroads and travel, and also the sea, the moon, for some reason dogs. I think the idea of her mainly as the patron of witchcraft and ghosts in more of a later invention made popular by Shakespeare.
Umm…this IS a game idea, right? Because all I can think of when I’m reading these is “Oh my gosh, I’ve been trapped in a Percy Jackson debate!!”
Looking forward to a game like this! played one on chooseyourstory.com
where you play as the son of zeus. it was pretty good. Waiting on the next part 
The books werent to bad though.
You are all blowing this up with so much stuff at once. I wish I could reply to everybody at once, but that would take forever. I refuse to let Zeus be a father in my game. Hades is definitely an option. I hope everybody is well. Game is being written as we speak! Hope you all love the lite version when its released.
Do you have a time estimate on the demo?