Nevermoore (WIP) (Update- April 5, 2021) Chapter 2!

Hello there everyone! Like many of you here, I’ve been lurking at a lot of WIPs on this site, and loved/got inspired by many of them. So I finally decided to try my hand at my own.

My first post here was on the Interest Check Thread (Which I unfortunately had to delete because I realized that there was a rather significant spoiler in there :sweat_smile:), sharing about this idea of your MC getting trapped in a cursed town. A lot were pretty interested so I decided that I should try working on it. Just have you know that I have no set update schedule, but I will try my best to do as much of this as I can. This is my first CYOA game so I’m both nervous and really excited to see how this turns out.

Summary

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but it won’t be satisfaction that’ll be bringing you back. Again. And again. And again.

The simple act of visiting your parents turns into something much more than what you were expecting when your car suddenly breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and you find yourself right beside a small town that’s engulfed by the trees.

Some of the residents you met right away were welcoming enough, happy to try and lend a helping hand when they can. But their smiles seemed more apologetic than happy, and their eyes looked at you with regret.

You never really did understand why that was…

Until you died.

So now, you are an unwilling participant in an endless cycle of death and resurrection. And the more you learn about the bloodstained history of the town and the pasts of its people in the same situation as you, the more you find yourself getting tangled up in a web of secrets that threatens to keep you there forever.

So welcome, newcomer…To Nevermoore.

Demo (NEW LINK!): https://dashingdon.com/play/astericae/nevermoore-memento-mori/mygame/ (Last Updated April 5, 2021)

Tumblr Dev Blog: https://asteristories.tumblr.com/. First time managing a blog so its design is still really basic. Feel free to drop by if you have any questions! I will also occasionally post progress updates, lore and character info, etc, when I can!

About the Game
  • Play as male, female, or non-binary.
  • 4 potential ROs so far! All are gender-flipable and are available to the MC regardless of gender. They can also still be made as a friend if romance is not on your mind!
  • Nevermoore is a town where death doesn’t matter, but can you risk being careless?
  • Explore and uncover the town’s mysterious curse. Be it alone, or with a few helping hands.
  • Learn about the lives of the residents before they had found themselves there. Everyone has their own stories to share…
FAQ

This will be filled as time goes on.


About the potential ROs

Info might change as the demo goes on.
Art is commissioned by an amazing artist who agreed to draw out my characters! I hope you guys like them! Please note that this are just my general view of what they look like, and you don’t have to purely see them like this. Feel free to interpret how the ROs look like on your own based on how their descriptions come up in the demo!

Link to the artist: Here

Micah/Miriam Sterling

"M"
Age: 26
Recorded Disappearance: 1922

With their soft-spoken and patient personality, it might be hard to believe that they came from the back alleys of early 1900s New York. Generally civil and polite to most people they meet, and tries to avoid conflict as much as possible. They also have a habit of being constantly alert of their surroundings, picking up sounds and sensations that would normally be missed by others. Nobody considers it unusual, however, because it becomes understandable once you meet them. If the pair of shades and solid wood walking cane doesn’t give it away, then their clouded blue eyes definitely will.

However, it’s best to remain wary of them. Because there is just something…off, in the way they carry themselves. Like a predator, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike their prey.

Elias/Eloise Lain Romero

"E"
Age: 21
Recorded Disappearance: 1989

They grew up in Cuba during the 1970s before having to move to Canada in order to study journalism. Has a sharp tongue but a soft heart, directing both towards anyone that’s within their vicinity for longer than a minute. Their snark and sarcasm is unmatched, yet it’s still known that they do genuinely care for the other residents, even though they’d probably rather die again than admit it out loud. And if you can’t find them right away, try looking up a tree. They claim it’s to get away from all the ‘annoying’ people, but really they just wanted a good view to draw out in their sketchbook.

However, it seems like they know more than they let on, always happen to be scribbling away in a leatherbound notebook of theirs. Who knows what’s written in it?

Pavel/Priscilla Falken

"P"
Age: 23
Recorded Disappearance: 2004


The brightly coloured, mismatched clothes they wear match their upbeat, free-spirited personality. An aspiring cook, specifically a baker, who was looking to open their own cafe before they accidentally arrived at the town. But even so, they won’t let the curse stop them from doing what they love, despite the potential risks (In fact, they’ve lost count on how many times their oven blew up on them). They also love to chat with people, especially with the newcomers. Expect to see them show up at your doorstep with a fresh batch of freshly baked goods as a way to make you feel welcome.

Their family actually shares their love for cooking, having once owned a small, local restaurant. Once is the keyword here. Best not to bring it up around them.

Simon/Sarai Zhang

"S"
Age: 25
Recorded Disappearance: 1970


They are a person of few words, and of science, following the footsteps of their father. Can be mostly be found in the town library, preferring the company of books rather than people. Their stoicism and aloofness makes it hard to get a read on what they are really thinking, and their bluntness sometimes puts others off. But they are hardworking, and take their situation more seriously than others. Which is why they are the only one who is actively trying to find a way out of the town, as well as understand how it works. They’ve tried everything, and are still coming up with new ways and theories (and experiments, sometimes even on themselves) all the time. They are determined to escape.

They have to. For their father.

Some more art that I had commissioned from the artist over the past year. You guys can see how the style has changed a bit since then if you look closely enough!

Halloween Special

Current Birthday Pieces




One Year Anniversary Special (ROs chosen by poll)


Update Log
Before Rewrite
January 23, 2020
  • Prologue
Feb 27, 2020 | Post #11
  • Improved on Prologue
  • Updated Content warnings
  • Part of Chapter 1, which includes meeting the MC as well as basic character creation.
May 10, 2020 | Post #33
  • Part 1 of the small update
  • Added a save system. Hope it works.
  • General edits and bug fixes throughout the whole thing.
May 20, 2020 | Post #37
  • Part 2 of the small update
  • Changed the ‘Perception’ stat to ‘Awareness’
  • General edits and bug fixes throughout the whole thing.
June 20, 2020 | Post #40
  • The missing phone conversation with your mom.
  • The choice to not answer said phone call with mom.
  • A couple new skillstat based flavor-text during the car stranded scene. Some are more ‘important’ than others. Can you tell which parts?
  • Skill Stat explanations (That still need work)
  • Bug fixes and general grammar/sentence updates.
August 30, 2020 | Post #56
  • The rest of chapter 1
  • Interlude
  • First encounters with an RO
  • Bug fixes and general grammar/sentence updates.
  • Minor modifications to the skill stats
  • Slightly changed the diner scene for better flow.
After Rewrite
January 31, 2021

Posted the new rewritten version of the Demo! Including but not limited to:

  • Changed but improved personality and skill stats
  • Now with 2 different ways for MC to die by the end of chapter 1 (Again, still not a spoiler)
  • Well, make it 3 ways if you find the hidden route :eyes:
  • First encounters of the RO kind
  • Parental angst during the interlude
  • Achievements where I’d like to think I’m funny
April 5, 2020
  • All of chapter 2
  • A perfectly normal and calming ‘dream’ sequence :slight_smile:
  • Meeting up with both familiar and new faces
  • Partake in a tour, as well as have a more proper introduction of the ROs
  • Eat a cupcake
  • Bug fixes and general grammar/sentence updates.
  • And more!

What’s next?: All of Chapter 3!

Current Word Count w. Code: 32,600 → 59135
Current Word Count without code: 29,800 → 54170
Average Word Count per Playthrough: I don’t know? How do you guys even calculate that?

What type of feedback I’m looking for:

  • Spelling/Grammar errors since English is not my first language. Especially when it comes to tenses. I tend to mix up the past and present tense when I’m writing.
  • Coding errors and bugs. (Ex: MC is referred to as he instead of she)
  • Story pacing and sentence structure. Any scenes you think went on too fast? Too slow? Sentences that took you a few rereads to understand? Let me know!
  • Suggestions. Can’t guarantee to always follow through with it, but I’d still like to hear any of your ideas on how to improve, be it characters, dialogue, or otherwise (Ex: There should also be an option x for this choice instead of just y and z)
  • And if not those, even a simple comment of ‘I like this’ or telling me about your MC will make my whole day. Of course this is just the ramblings of a writer who gets excited at reply notifications like some puppy, haha…unless?

Thanks again everyone for checking this WIP out and giving it a chance in the sea of other (much more amazing) WIPs. But anyways, I do hope to see you soon!

451 Likes

Well sounds interesting, more than a little bit similar to Raging Loop (which is really amazing VN) and i dont think that there are any time loop themed titles in COG library yet.
Good luck!

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Update (23/01/2020)
So the link is already up there but I’m just letting you know again just so I can get in the habit of updating like this in the future. Like I said before, this is only the prologue, so nothing special is happening (yet). In the next update, we’ll meet the MC! So stay tuned everyone!

@Kleen Thank you so much for your kind words. However, I’m afraid that this isn’t exactly a ‘Time Loop’ story. There’s elements of…Time Travel(?), but I can’t give out anymore info atm because of spoilers. But I do hope you still stick around in the future to see what I mean! :smile:

Also quick question for any Choicescript IDE users out there, is there supposed to be a specific way to…er…move the txt files to dashingdon? Bc I’ve only been downloading each one individually via Dropbox and then uploading them there. It then becomes a pain if I need to update because of small changes. I tried using ‘export’ but nothing seems to be happening? Sorry, I’m still trying to get used to this lol.

9 Likes

Color me interest, I’ll be keeping an eye on this thread. I really like how you paint a picture of it all with your words.

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Even though it is short, the idea has caught my interest. I can’t wait for more and I like how the title reminds me of Edger Allen Poe’s poem: The raven

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Very intriguing premise and I found the short prologue enjoyable, looking forward to future updates.

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Well I for one would like to live forever.Great demo anyways.Keep up the good work😊

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Sounds interesting

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Hi!

Unfortunately, I am not familiar with CS and dashingdon. Perhaps addressed your CS question over the Choicescript Help subforum.

Good luck on your work by the way!

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The premise sorta reminded me of that IF game I played a long time ago, The Cactus Blue Motel. Anyhow, I’ll certainly keep an eye on this project :wink:

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@Bokeh @Clara_Wolfenstein @kalm @TheFox2004 @Harley_Robin_Evans @resuri08 @KJM
Thank you all so much for your kind words for this project. You have no idea how much it means to me knowing that there are people out there who want to read more of what I wrote! I’m definitely inspired to write more and hopefully update with the first chapter sooner than planned!

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(Updated Feb 27, 2020)
Okay, so it took a little longer than I would have liked, but here’s the first update of Nevermoore! I admit there’s still not much to it yet, but because I’m a fool and impatient as heck, I decided to at least share this so people can have a taste of what to expect from me. But oh my gosh writing this was so hard. It went through three (3) re-writes and even then I’m still not satisfied with it. There’s this dumb caveman part of me that’s just like 'Must. Get. To. Fun. Part!" But my logical brain is all “No you idiot! Every part is needed and is important!”

But yeah, here you go. I hope you enjoy it so far! Though please note that there’s a conversation there that is still incomplete (You’ll know it when you see it.)

As for feedback, please check the main post as to what I am looking for. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask, I’ll be happy to answer when I can. With that being said, thank you everyone for your supports so far and I hope to see you again soon!

12 Likes

I really liked the premise, I’m looking forward the development of the story.
However, when I choose the second option about the car, the one that says I appreciated the thought, I get this bug.

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Should be fixed now. Thanks for letting me know!

Can confirm it’s fixed.
I like it so far. Slow to start but you can say that for every game. Keep up the good work.

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I got this bug when I decide to choose myself the genders

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Should be fixed now. Can you confirm? Thank you for informing me!

It’s fixed! :slightly_smiling_face:

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I really liked this story!! I’m looking forward to it!!:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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@Moonstone Thank you for your support! I hope I don’t disappoint or anything in the future lol.

For everyone else still sticking around with this wip, I did a small update (not enough to warrant an official post in the update log). Just an extra option to style MC’s hair if it’s long enough, one of those quote things at the start of chapter 1 that gives you a small peek at the lore, and general spelling/grammar/bug fixes.

And if any of you are interested, would you like me to introduce the ROs to you here early (By that I mean in this thread, not in story)? Nothing too spoilery obviously. But their names, personalities, and appearances (still unofficial on my end), will be shared. At least those who want to can sort of…‘prepare(?)’ for them when they do appear in-story. Please let me know if you want this and I’ll see what I can do. (Plus the RO section from the main post won’t be too empty anymore :smile:)

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