Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole! [Rewrite in Progress]



Well I’m glad that makes sense. Balancing choices is hard. :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, I’ve got several new things to share.

First, I’ve added another Trait to the list again: “Heavy Sleeper”. :zzz:

Second, I was looking at my outline and realized that the age increase has another effect. Now I’m thinking of a scene where Roselyna has her first period in the sequel. :smile: It probably won’t happen to the MC or anyone else, but it’ll be discussed a bit. Heehee.

Finally, I suddenly got these plot bunnies the other day. Now I’m thinking of potential spinoff games for the story. These stories will be more “gamey”, (but still has plenty of story) and happen on a different timeline than in the canon story.

I’m not going to post an interest check yet until I at least (no promises, hehe) release the Chapter 3 Demo, because the spinoffs are a part of the story worlds.

Summary (Minor Spoilers!)

(I’m assuming you read the story information in the first post.)

  1. So the first spinoff is called :musical_note: "The FIVE Golden Rings! :ring: " :musical_note: where you will play as a healer looking for an adventuring party. This story is set in Escheria, and follows Cordelia’s story after the MCs leave Caeshire in the canon story.

You can either play as a cleric, a druid, or a shaman.

  1. The working title of the second one is “The Three Seasters”. :stuck_out_tongue: This one follows the story of Uncle and his flock on an expedition to explore the Oceans of Escheria. You will command a fleet of ships, airships, and maybe even a starship.

You can either play as an explorer, a trader, or a pirate.

  1. The third one is based on the Children Colony in the Sci-Fi diary story branch. No ideas about how this will play out yet, but it will be more of a management game with a little bit of adventuring thrown in.

  2. The fourth one, I thought the Magic School in the Fantasy diary story branch would be interesting, but there’s a lot of those already, so I thought of a High School game set in the story’s post-plot. This is more of an indirect sequel to the trilogy.

I obviously can’t work on this after the series is finished, so nahhh for now. And of course I can’t spoil much what I mean by “post-plot”. :wink:

So… yeah! I just had to get that out of my head! :sweat_smile:


( ⚆ _ ⚆ )




I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you, but your WIP is outstanding. I am thoroughly impressed and inspired!


I know it’s going to be hard but I want my little mc and his brother to become awsome McCoolname twins and become ridiculously strong

Like this kid
(Don’t read the manga, keep your innocence)


@Blmc000 Hi! Thanks for checking out my WIP! I’m glad you liked it. :blush: And if you don’t mind me asking, what did you like about it? And do you have any suggestions? :stuck_out_tongue:

@Natman1025 Well, definitely not ridiculously strong, but in the sequel, you’ll be able to start taking advantage of the powers the stories can grant you. :star_struck: I’m thinking there’ll be at least four paths:

  • Learn magic :sparkles: and use magical/legendary artifacts and items :crown: :shield:
  • Gain super-powers (with your twin!) :muscle:
  • Use futuristic (magi-)technology :rocket:
  • Spoilers unless you have the powers of spoiler-guessing :shushing_face:

  • …or a combination of all four, I guess.

Anyway, still no updates. I’m still buried in school stuff. But who knows, maybe I’ll have a surprise by the end of it. :wink:

Although… I’m going to be honest, and maybe I’ll regret saying this, but I’m really not as motivated and excited to work as before. Considering the time I spent on this, I’m just disappointed it hasn’t got as much attention/interest as I would’ve liked.

I mean, that’s my fault for expecting much, and I’m not dismissing everyone who has posted here so far, or those who also work hard on their projects, but I just can’t shake off that feeling, you know?

Sorry, this was in my mind for a while now and I just wanted to let it out.


Oops, did I say I can't stop myself from adding new variables?



Love it i want more! Its not often i replay WiPs the amount of times I’ve replayed this one


@Franzinyte I love the innovation of your framework. It is a very risky formatting, but you are executing magnificently. You have a good balance of storytelling and game play, and the side routes don’t feel like side routes. There is a lot of charm and nuance to your writing style, and I felt very engaged. I do not usually enjoy stories voiced from a child’s perspective, but your engaging narrative kept me interested.

The only suggestion that I feel qualified enough to offer, is that you complete this project. It would be a shame for all of your brilliant storytelling and innovation to be left incomplete. Then again Rembrandt did say that “a painting is finished when the artist says it is finished”.


@Alan_Grajeda Thanks! This means a lot to me. :hugs: I wish I can start writing again right now, but I can’t.

@Blmc000 Thank you very much! You’re making me feel confident again. :blush:

Writing in first person feels very natural to me, so I’m glad I was able to keep you interested even if you don’t usually like the perspective.

And good luck with your project too! I’m looking forward to the classes. :stuck_out_tongue:


@Franzinyte your wip is supposed to have pigs included, when will they appear?


You’ll have to wait until Chapter 3 :stuck_out_tongue:

But you can choose the piglet stuffed toy if you want. :pig:


I agree, please keep going! I’m very excited for this series.


Now from the bottom of my heart, I want you to be careful when you say those words. Many people have tried to write a series have their ambition grow too big and they lose track of their game and fail to make the first game. Unless you have the full first game WRITTEN out on paper I strongly recommend you try to keep it firmly in the first book for right now

And don’t worry about the atention, if I learned anything from my failure is that if you stop and don’t push anything then the only thing you do is wallow in the bad and not see the good from the new content, if you do it it will feel more rewarding every time you push past that feeling


Am I not allowed to plan ahead? I only said that to give you something to look forward to. Because I myself look forward to it. Apparently I failed in doing that.

I do my planning and pick up ideas in my spare time, and honestly if I didn’t have ideas for a sequel, a future scene, or a new character, my interest in my own story would have died out. I’m still developing my plot after three years, and all those possibilities keep me going, so don’t mind me if I continue doing that.

It’s the main reason the scope of my story is large, so that almost everything I can think of, I can probably fit in there somewhere. I do not like working on many different projects at once.

It’s all a single story I broke up into parts anyway. The story would be much more different right now if I only thought that it being a series is just a possibility.

Sorry. I appreciate the concern, but that wasn’t encouraging at all. I know what I said, and I am aware that this is a very ambitious project in the first place.


Okay, I apologize that that I assumed. I don’t know the situation in which you were writing the story. People make these stories in weeks or even days and I didn’t want that to happen to you. I’m sorry and I hope you can accept that.


No worries. When I was the MC’s age I was planning to write a story that would be over 10 books long. I promised myself that I’d finish it before I die.

Well, I’m probably not going to return to that story anymore, so I owe it to myself to finish this one. Heck, even the school work I’m doing right now is related to my story.


I just want to say: don’t get yourself down about this. :slight_smile: Some threads have insane numbers of posts, and others not, but I really don’t think that it’s any indication of quality. Often the comments are completely unconnected to the actual WiP; in my own thread, I had hundreds of Power Rangers and Kamen Rider comments and pictures, and at least one argument that ended with (joking, I hope) death threats…

From what I’ve read of it, your story looks great, and I’d really like to read more of it, and I’m sure a lot of other people feel the same way. :slight_smile:


@ParrotWatcher Thanks for the support! :hugs: I really appreciate it. It’s not much about the comments, but rather I’m worried that my audience is pretty niche. Which… isn’t all that bad, but still. I guess I’ll see what happens when I finish the next big update.

By the way, I’ve been meaning to check out your WIP again! :slightly_smiling_face: I remember reading it when I was still a lurker, but unfortunately I’m very busy right now.

Anyway, in the interest of keeping the thread active, I’ve got a few questions.

  • As the MC, what would you wish for if you encounter a genie? :woman_genie: (The genie is pretty weak, by the way. You only have one wish, can’t wish for more obviously, and the genie can’t grant wishes that affect entire worlds and such. Probably.)
  • Wish for my parents to come back
  • Wish for something that I really really want for myself, something that makes me powerful, or something I couldn’t have before
  • Wish that I’m something or someone else.
  • Wish that something happened/didn’t happen before
  • Wish something good for me and my friends.
  • Wish something good for other people.
  • Wish something bad to others.
  • Give the wish to my twin/one of my friends
  • Something else.

0 voters

And if you can tell me what your wish would be specifically, and why you would choose that wish, even better!

  • Who among the four classmates introduced so far are you most likely to choose as your bestfriend?
  • Wayne :rainbow: :rocket:
  • Roselyna :rose: :ice_cream:
  • Michael :1st_place_medal: :mortar_board:
  • Lily :mag_right: :fleur_de_lis:
  • I’m not really sure yet. :thinking:

0 voters

  • And on that note, did their general personality come across well in the group chat scene?

    • I’ll be revamping this scene in the next update, so there’s more options and to hopefully improve the flow and give the characters a clearer introduction.
    • I think I’ll also be changing the relationship mechanics so it’s simpler, but I’m not really sure yet how.
  • (Optional, answer in the comments) Does your MC have a crush on any of them? Who is it and why?

  • Lastly, what are you looking forward to the most in the story?

:tada: :tada: :tada: We finally reached a thousand clicks on the demo! :confetti_ball: Here’s a huge thank you and a hug :hugs: to everyone who has commented and checked out my WIP thus far.

And as a bonus, I’ll invite everyone who will answer and explain their answers well to the questions above to a private testing thread (when it’s ready, of course) so you can see the new updates, sneak peeks and other cool stuff before it’s publicly released! Everyone in the thread will be credited in the Special Thanks/Acknowledgments section. :blush:


My mc would wish for superpowers to help people, or just to become super smart and never have to study again

I think lily because she is sensible, smart, and is adorable in a nerdy way


i want to wish for someone who i care about deeply and know is going through a really hard fought battle (like depression) to live a life where they can look back and say “i’m happy (or the highest form of contentment) with this life of mine.”

However, if there is something that i know about wishes is that they can be easily twisted. i don’t know much the morality of the genie so i really want to word my wish carefully.


My MC would probably wish for power, but only so she could protect the people she cared about. That way she can continue doing things to help her friends, instead of only having one wish to do so.

I think their personalities came off fairly well but it was a bit rushed. I think that scene could definitely be improved.

My MC doesn’t have a crush on anyone…yet.

What I’m looking forward to the most is exploring these new worlds and seeing where the plot goes!