Modern Day God - You woke up after 20 thousand years of slumber, to find yourself in the modern age, where technology is beginning to evolve.
So i am gonna start progress again, and my descriptions are still bad i know but i decided to change it, its better now but that doesn’t mean its good.
Been trying to update this topic for the past 30 minutes because my internet bad
Update 4/18/2022: As i said i edited the prologue
Again school sucks why are they giving me so much work, i wont be able to write for a while because of school i really need to get high scores or else ill fail.
Definitely keeping an eye on this. Demonic god vs modern day is interesting. I’m already wondering why the mc so weak after awakening . Did they lose their power or was they sealed away? Looking forward to it
This is okay-ish but you should polish the writing. For example ‘I have water breathing’? Instead I can breath underwater (technically MC is submerged)… And you also should check the grammer error. It’s always ‘i am’, i yelled, i yelped, i punched… That “i” shouldn’t be in lower case.
I enjoy the concept of being a demi-god waking up into the modern world. I would say that the grammar needs to be a bit polished out and that it feels a little rushed. We start off fighting Posiden and his army. Then on the very next page we’re immediately trapped in ice which is quickly followed by our escape from the ice into the hands of humans. To then immediately escaping from said humans. We don’t really get to know much about anything of this world or these humans. While it doesn’t need to be a slow burn style of story. It feels like we’re just getting thrown from scene to scene without know what’s going on. Of course someone who has been asleep in a prison for thousands of years would be confused and seek to escape said prison but we don’t get even the slightest grasp of this new world before we’re picked up by humans and imprisoned once more. Having the choice to talk to the humans before trying to escape/escaping from the humans would allow players to gain more of an understanding of this world & it slows the pacing down instead of feeling like we’ve been through into the middle of the story without any context of what going on. If any of that makes any sense xd. It’s cool to see a new demo up for this kind of game and I can’t wait to see where it goes. And while this is just the start of the story and I have no idea where it’s going to go which is exciting. Remember this isn’t just a story your writing. It’s an game for players to make choices in and it’s going be hard to follow the story of the game if your players can’t follow what’s going on in this world you created or they’re getting whiplash from the sudden scene change before they have a full grasp of what’s going on. Apologies if that comes off as harsh and also sorry for the little mini rant but I want interesting wips to succeed
