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just had a time to re-playtest this and get some typo to report :grin: :

@adrao :

father Irwin, a mysterious stranger that has attempted to improve the relationship between between the chaotic and barbaric societies of the Badlands and the order of settlements like New Heaven.
(just one between is enough)

You are slightly surprised by the last comment, though Well, Sir seems rather happy, combining hisbrown hair before exiting the SAPEV.
(should be He and i suspect Well,sir is a result of copy paste, as it is the same words at the begining of pharagraf)

In aninstant he strikes at you with it, making you thankful that you also took that nanobot jab. Otherwise you wouldn’t stand a chance.
(just add spacebar)

“Really? You don’t remember these? They are nanotechnology torches. You also awful have them!”
(this sounds a bit weird for me, i guess its a copy paste mistake ?!)

(choice) Buy a beautiful metallic place for 2000 pesos
(did you mean plate ? some kind of necklace? coz i dont get what it was supposed to be)

Mr. D’Anjou starts advancing towards you, clearly indicating that you are not going to get out of this without a fight.
(choice) Take out the packet of garlic chips and through some at her
(Its he as i fight the Mr. not the Ms. and i supposed it should be throw)

You quickly realise that it would probably only take a small kick to break one of the legs of the chair, which you give you a small wooden stake with which you could attack Mr. D’Anjou. However, maybe the chest could have in it something that you could use against him.
(too much you there)

@Sashira

this is not a typo, but :

i find this a bit strange, as there is no mention about the Dandy after the investigation scenes. example :

Miss Vivian reads like an open book, and however shady she seems,…
Wexley does not exaggerate, and his reputation is deserved; he is …
Colonel Amberley has a temper, and is a proud man. He was by all accounts an enemy of Sir Reginald, and …
Miss Elizabeth harbored a deep hatred for her late godfather, that much is clear. But she seems to find the whole situation unsettling and …
Finally, there’s Lily, the maid. She strikes you as a woman devoted to duty, who …
(there is no mention about Cecil…)

that’s it for now, as im not reading the other story yet… will try them later. oh i want to ask, but this might be a spoiler so its alright if it can’t be answer :sweat_smile: how did you guys planning to handle the RO as i notice that every or maybe most of the story offer some people to be pursue… did the choosen RO will be bringing out of the books, or something like that? oh or maybe there will be someone outside the book that resemble them ? really curious (:eye::lips::eye:)

EDIT :
@Felicity_Banks

i immediatelly realized this is from your previous short story called “Down the wombat hole” or something like that, coz that is the reason i google what wombat looks like XD. btw, did it intentional and plot important for our companion to be a girl ?. just want to ask that? nothing to report i guess, just i always fall unconciuos when the battle begin no matter what i do :sweat_smile:

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It’s been 24 days, I’m pretty sure that would make this WiP inactive…

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@RyseAbove : oops… or maybe it was okay for this once, as i was just talking about this game with one of its Author in PM yesterday :grimacing:
.
.
.
by the way, that being said… here comes more report : WARNING!! heavy spoiler alert so if you didn’t read/playtest the game yet… i advice you to play it before reading this, or maybe just ignore it :sweat_smile:

@Felicity_Banks

sorry, i forgot to take note to where this typo is from, i guess its from College Daze :grin:

There is a gentle sussuration of static as you try to figure out what to say - or think.
(susurration)

for the next report… its really for College Daze :slight_smile:

[spoiler]to be honest im quite confused with the story as i feel the pace is too fast (?), and at some scene there, the character is being forgoten as if they are not there, and at some point some character suddenly appear with small description (example : we speak with Yanti, and then she seems to be no where to be found and we speak with this Fei Fei which appear out of no where). and the background/place description is a bit confusing for me, like MC is at their dorm/room… and somehow the description make me think he is outdoor without exiting his room.

btw, did you by any chances had an acquantaince from Indonesia? that is a nice touch you got there, (im from indonesia myself) and that scene with mukamu kucing is quite amusing for me, is that supposed to be an insult?! because it isn’t not, and i guess that is the intention because i myself find it confusing and stop reading for a while just like Yanti who became confused and stop doing whatever she intented to do :joy: lol :clap: really, nice touch there.[/spoiler]

@Cecilia_Rosewood :

He pauses, and then grins. “And besides, maybe you’re just some character in some book too. I mean, traveling through books isn’t all that normal either.”
(HE IS TOO SHARP!! :laughing: there is no typo here, just want to comment it to you :grin:)

Lorenzo shrugs. “Of course I did. I mean, I could’ve asked Carmen to make them, but she way already way too busy sowing the balloon.”
(i dunno, it sounds wrong, maybe it’ll be better if it is a typo and you mean it as was)

(choice)You wonder what the woman knows Lorenzo from.
(sorry again if i make a mistake, but this is confusing for me… is it mean to be from Lorenzo, or maye im the wrong one and yours is the correct one :grimacing:)

We should try to distract them other team with the brightly colored fish that call the reefs their home."
(i believe you mean the other team)
[/spoiler]

@ 4 of you Author of this amazing collab story : is that last scene supposed to be the epilogue?! :sob: what a cliffhanger!! :scream: where is my RO epilogue? and there is still some question that not being answer!! what is macguffin supposed to be? where they coming from?? and how did my Aunt manage to enter a book and bring Uncle Irwin to MC world? where did she obtain that ability? and big question from me is… from which book/story did Uncle Irwin coming from, as there is no way he belong to every book MC encounter… :joy:
oh, there is more that last scene where we use all the book at once is quite intense… and i enjoy it, just… it will be super awesome if MC encounter their acquantaince again from everybook, like maybe when the floating land crash down we encounter Lorenzo who scream for MC to take shelter for defending them from Lava, and maybe John appear and shot the attacker to save us… or something like that. some small encounter with some character from the book before we find Uncle Irwin will give more impact for the intense moment… and maybe give more attachment with them and the reader :grin:

That’s it… sorry for the long post!! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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It’s still active. We’re even gathering stuff to officially get it submitted already :grin:

@Curious_Boy Thanks for the typo’s and the detailed feedback :grin: Which RO were you going for?

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first choice : John Loftus from New Heaven Cop, by Adrao
second choice : Lorenzo from Dragons and Devices, by Cecilia Rosewood
and i wish i could romance a merman, though there is no interaction with one of them :neutral_face: :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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There should be a little scene with the chosen RO at the end. They’re not very elaborate though. Did you get those? (Otherwise I should probably go bug-hunting again :sweat_smile:)

That would take a lot of time, and I don’t really know how to properly fit it into that story :pensive:

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nope… just the red women scene and uncle Irwin hug scene… and nothing more sadly :cry:

well, maybe Finn (i assume they are a He/Merman) approached MC when they decline Nereid offer to dance, and he congratulate us, and ask for the dance? :innocent:

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I’ll update the files on dashingdon. See if that helps…

I really don’t like tag-on romances :sweat_smile:

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still no RO scene at the end, when i clicked next chapter after Uncle Irwin hugs scene… it just show MC stat and play again choice… :confused:

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For which RO was that? Did you refresh your browser cache? (I’m rushing through my local copy as we speak.)

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John… i’ll to play it again with private firefox browser to avoid cache problem then… :grin:
EDIT : @Cecilia_Rosewood Hhhaaa!! finally get to that last scene!! :heart_eyes: some report though :

As uncle Irwin is about to walk off to get you some tea his copy of New Heaven Cop, in your mind better known as John’s book, suddenly falls off the reading stand.
(need a comma there : “get you some tea, his copy…”

it really is a little scene… too little (too short)… its not really that satisfying :cry:. oh well, at least there is a scene even though its feel like a tease cliffhager :grin:

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It is still active??? Hallelujah!

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Well, if you’ve still got suggestions or have spotted any typos, now’s the time to tell us :wink:

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That wink thingy really is … :wastebasket: I’m surprised you don’t use :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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It’s apparently what happens when you type ; ) (It looks creepy :sweat_smile:)

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So, the game is getting closer to being submitted, but we cannot quite make our minds up on a (rather important) issue.

Basically, in order to finish the game the MC needs to obtain mcguffins by completing the stories (he/she needs at least 6 I think, and there are only 7 stories). Thus, if the MC cannot get all of them, we run into a structural problem, in that the MC would have to either fail in the story, or we would have to allow for one of the stories to be re-read (which may present a problem from the point of view of realism, as the text currently doesn’t change if you read a story for the second time, whereas the reader would feel “Ah, I’m meeting character XYZ for the second time, but the text treats it as if its the first time I encountered them”).

What do you think would be the best thing to do?
A. Create a failure scene, where the MC fails in the story (and then has to re-read if he wants to obtain a good result)
B. Allow the MC to re-read any of the book as many times as he needs, until he succeeds in enough of them.
C. Remove the need to succeed in getting all the mcguffins in order to proceed to the end of the story

In terms of difficulty, do you find it easy to get to the end of the game?

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in my opinion, the A make more sense than the other option… :slight_smile:

its quite difficult for me at first (as im not really sure what stat check that required for some choice – some choice feel to vague at first though its not really a big deal). but i get the hang of it after i configuring out what story best to play first before the other, as the bonus stat from that story will help MC at the other book. maybe its sounds like such a pain to do that, but its actually quite enjoyable and feel like a challenge :grin:

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I got too the good ending on my first try, but i did fail the comedy college book. I think it was fun and the best was battl8ng vampires, but i loved saving uncle irwim and heading through the books. I only think it could be more consistent, and i loved the reference to highway marshall

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The parts between the stories, or the stories themselves?

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The parts Between the stories

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