Lost In The Pages (Formerly Uncle Irwin's Bookshop) - Last public version is up now


#1

Hello forum folks.

Some of the people who’ve been around for a bit longer might remember (It’s unlikely, but who knows…) that @addicted had the idea to create a game with the forum community somewhere around June 2015.
The good news is that though the project deviated from the original idea quite a bit through its execution that project did not bleed to death.

That is of course followed by the even better news that it’s now ready for Beta-testing.


About the game:

In its current incarnation this project is a collaboration between @Felicity_Banks, @adrao, @Cecilia_Rosewood and @Sashira.

We’ve all written one or two short stories in the framework of a larger story, which was originally written by @Felicity_Banks and expanded by @Cecilia_Rosewood.

The main character recieves a troubling phone call from Uncle Irwin and head over to his house and bookshop to check on him. Finding him proves to be difficult though, and the MC will have to travel through several books of different genres to find him.


Why we chose for a public Beta:

The idea that lead to the creation of this game was to make a game with the forum community. In the spirit of this original idea we’ve opted to keep the Beta phase public so that every member of this wonderful community gets the opportunity to see and contribute to the story before it’s sent to CoG to be released. Your help in this step of the process is very much appreciated.


#The kind of feedback we are looking for:

  • High level feedback

About the general flow of the game: In this case an important point to keep an eye on are the transisions between the parts written by the various members of the team. It’s always tricky to get those things just right.

About the pacing of the game: Is the pacing too slow? Is the pacing too fast? Are there too little choices in a certain part of the story? Are there too many? We would really like to hear your opinion on this, especially if they’re accompanied by examples of where it went wrong.

About the plot: Is it interesting? Does it rope you in enough to keep reading? Is it consistent, or are there things you feel should or shouldn’t have happened at certain points in the story.

About the characters: Are they fleshed out enough? Can you find a suitable RO for your MC? Do you wish a non-RO NPC could be turned into a RO? Tell us. We might just be able to do something about it.

About the options presented: Do you feel like an option should be added for a certain choice. Do you think one should removed? Is there an option that suits your character? Did you find a spot where you think a choice should be added? Let us know.

  • Low level feedback

Typos. Also includes wrong word-use since not all of us have English as a native language.

Visible bits of code.

Continuity errors.


Where should you post your feedback?

This thread has been created specifically for the purpose of posting feedback. It would be nice if you could link (and tag) the relevant writer to your feedback though. Since this is a cooperative project different parts of the game have been written by different authors. The following is a list of which author is responsible for which part of the story.

  • @adrao: New Heaven Cop and The mansion of D’Anjou
  • @Felicity_Banks: College Daze and The Queen’s Child.
  • @Sashira: Sashira’s story (name is still a work in progress.)
  • @Cecilia_Rosewood: Dragons and Devices, The Danger of the Deep and the main story.

I hope this has appropriately informed you about the purpose of this thread.

Here’s the link:

https://dashingdon.com/play/forumcommunitycoopproject/uncle-irwins-bookshop/mygame/


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#2

Could I read it? Or it is blah bla how much i love my uncle… Because Mara hates her uncle she wants their goods and herence.


#3

Ah, Mara, don’t ever change. :joy:


#4

Yeah, it’s pretty much

:sweat_smile:

Then again I’m not sure even you could dislike that enormous goofball.


#5

What do you find funny @idonotlikeusernames ? Lol. :wink: I just couldnt deal with a text about how much i love a character I choose not to… IT IS ALL EMMA OVER AGAIN NO MORE EMMAS PEOPLE That could be easy solved with I hate my uncle but i pretend love and care to con him to make me her heir. Role playing wise that is a open new world work wise is just few flavor lines and some minor choices not many. Anyway I wishyou luck even. If i dont read it because thinking in read another EMMA over Mara is giving me a headache. Line after line of how much i love her and care… My poor head :head_bandage:
editRandom question what level of feedback is I don’t want read this but i am giving feedback anyway because Mara lol. :wink:


#6

That’s it exactly, while I tend to have problems dealing with sugary sweet (family) relationships for most of my mc’s, Mara is something else.

True it is never nice to be told what our character is thinking without our input, for me the most jarring was the mc’s forced attraction to Black Magic in Hero’s Rise.

Oh, don’t apologise for that I’m a champion of offering my mc’s RP insights and various pieces of often unsolicited feedback as well, besides Mara often makes me chuckle. :wink:


#7

It’s a game about going through worlds inside of books. No, there isn’t an option to forget about your missing uncle, ignore the mysterious portal to genre-land, and keep his bookshop. If that’s a dealbreaker then yeah, don’t play this game. :frowning:


#8

Don’t. Make me remember. The fire sex scene in first game before the new text. I WAS PISSED like why i have to bang this liar … He could bang his holography


#9

Sash is a joke lol. Of course I will read it. But illustrated my point that few lines could change. A lot replay value. Why your character Is involved in the adventure is really important in a role-play Experience, key to determine our goals.


#10

Except that I think sometimes certain limitations are necessary. If the main purpose of a story or game is, let’s say, a tale of chivalry, knighthood and an all-around fun, jolly experience, it’d be counterproductive to the overall intent of the game to offer choices that would throw the story off-kilter. :yum:


#11

However even then you could have an mc, like I or Mara would probably want to portray who merely is a master of acting heroic and chivalrous, but (in my case) is (secretly gay in case it’s not openly allowed in the in-game society) and/or just in it for the handsome guys, the fame and the money.


#12

There are multiple in-game societies (because of the different books thing), but I think it’s openly allowed in all of them.


#13

Usually the premise of a game will let you know if you’ll be able to play like that. :wink: That’s honestly part of the reason I never got A Midsummer Night’s Choice. It just didn’t interest me 'cause I knew right off the bat that it wasnt a game for me.


#14

Well to each his own, I frigging loved that game.


#15

Heh! Some people hate goofballs, or those who’re not serious, or are just annoying, and are like stop being so silly all the time.

Do answering machines still exist? I thought everyone used voicemail nowadays. (Apart from me, I don’t have either.)

There does seem to be a lot of deciding how we feel in the text. I’m getting told that I feel things, instead of the text evoking that in me. And I’m getting told it immediately, instead of there being a build up.

I’ve yet to hit anything that seems like a meaningful choice to decide my own personality or how I react to things either. I think there could be a bit more interactivity. I think, Mara’s idea of we can choose how we react to the message might add a bit more depth.

There does seem to be room for other motivations. There’s just a lack of interactivity in the prologue though and that’s supposed to set the tone for the rest of the story.


#16

Well I played part of it … if you really want hear my opinion tell me…I would try to be nice and polite… Yes… I would try and achieve it this time.
Edit Nope all d
Feedback it comes to my mind is not polite and nice… Why cant i be elegant and polite like @Eiwynn ??? @Eiwynn now i forgot your old name and cant remember new one. And you still change your icon soon I will forget all about you…


#17

Its still Eiwynn. Thank you for thinking me elegant and polite; no more changing the icon.

Your loved by a lot of us here silly - just look at Monsters thread.


#18

Well, now, I just read through all of it in one sitting and I loved it!

I’ll do a general summary in the end, but address to address some of the specifics you presented:

High-Level Feedback:

About the general flow of the game: In this case an important point to keep an eye on are the transitions between the parts written by the various members of the team. It’s always tricky to get those things just right.

  • Mostly, the flow went really well. I thought it was a little rushed at times but that might be my own personal opinion as I’m someone who enjoys slower-paced games that save the quick pacing for high points of tension. The transition from story to story was executed well, the only thing that occasionally broke the ‘spell’ persay was when my MC was continually caught off guard about being in a new story even when it was the second or third time around. You would’ve thought that the MC’d start to expect being turned into a mermaid or whatnot after the second or so story. (Perhaps there could be a variable of some kind that increases when you enter a new story, and by the time it reaches ‘2’ or so the reaction to the change is different? So that an MC whose already been in a couple of books reacts with less surprise and confusion at what just happened than an MC who hasn’t been in any books before?)

About the pacing of the game: Is the pacing too slow? Is the pacing too fast? Are there too little choices in a certain part of the story? Are there too many? We would really like to hear your opinion on this, especially if they’re accompanied by examples of where it went wrong.

  • I already talked a bit about that above, but again, more of a personal opinion. Overall, the pacing went really well. Even then, it was just a minor feeling. The only part that really stood out to me was the confrontation with the Lady in Red. It felt as if it was building up to this grand reveal of some sort, the mystery ever building and the intrigue there. Then it was just sort of stated rapidly in a paragraph before we made one of three choices pertaining to our highest stat. I loved the buildup, especially going through, story by story, trying to figure out why this is happening. Maybe it might transition a bit smoother if there were more clues to who she was? If we actively saw her changing the worlds, trying to edit it to be more orderly?

About the plot: Is it interesting? Does it rope you in enough to keep reading? Is it consistent, or are there things you feel should or shouldn’t have happened at certain points in the story.

  • I adored the plot. I used to fantasize as a kid about being able to jump into books so this struck home with me. It was so much fun to have that kind of ability, and to see the varied worlds and writing styles. Especially so since they were all so different and well written, it never got boring, since it was always something new and different. I loved it.

About the characters: Are they fleshed out enough? Can you find a suitable RO for your MC? Do you wish a non-RO NPC could be turned into a RO? Tell us. We might just be able to do something about it.

  • I loved Gianna’s character from the start so ROs were no problem from me. The NPC’s were all very interesting, each with their own different personalities and quirks. I especially fell in love with the characters in The Queen’s Child, the relationship between Quiet and the Queen was very sweet.

About the options presented: Do you feel like an option should be added for a certain choice. Do you think one should removed? Is there an option that suits your character? Did you find a spot where you think a choice should be added? Let us know.

-The only place I had a problem with the choices were at the end of @Felicity_Banks College Daze. Since up until then, it had mostly been a question of which stat to emphasize and/or increase. All of a sudden I couldn’t figure out which one would emphasize which stat. I failed three or so times before I started randomly guessing and got it right. I loved the story up until then, so it just shocked me a little. It could work, however, if there were some more contextual clues about which was the right choice. (I.e. maybe emphasize the fact that she’s far away from the dorm? Or that there’s a clear getaway path? Or some clues as to why the others wouldn’t work.)

Low-Level Feedback

[spoiler] At the very end, the title of “The Mansion of D’Anjou” disappeared and was replaced with simply “Title of Adrao’s Second Story”. This was right after collecting everything and right before opening all of the books and confronting the Lady in Red.

Speaking of D’Anjou:

@adrao The sentence “Could you get some rest?” Is it supposed to be “Did you get some rest?” It threw me off a bit since I had just gone to sleep and it sounded like she was asking me to go and sleep again. I mean, geeze, Angelie, I didn’t think I looked THAT tired. :stuck_out_tongue:[/spoiler]

General Thoughts

I really like this game. Not just because it’s one of my childhood fantasizes come to life, but also because the way it plays out is so smooth.

It reminds me, a lot, of Italo Calvino’s If on a winter’s night a traveler with the way the stories begin and end. (That’s also one of my favorite books, so this is a really good thing to me).

The few problems I found were very minor, and were absolutely overshadowed by just the general enjoyability of the game as a whole. It’s a fun romp through diverse worlds and genres, all tied together through an intriguing plot and unique idea.

I also like how all the different styles of writing add to the immersion. Normally, it can be hard to blend different writing styles so that you don’t break immersion, but here, it really works since it only emphasizes the idea that you’re wandering through these different books. It really is fun, and everyone who worked on this did an amazing job!

Hope this was of some help!


#19

@RenaB sure, it helps, and I’ll correct that next time I go through the game (probably next week). I guess that the connection between the stories is something that could be a bit better fleshed out, and I’ll try to incorporate some flavour text into my parts of the stories at least.

@poison_mara I REALLY want your opinion, and I don’t care much about politeness as long as there is some constructive criticism in there (which I get the feeling you tend to provide). I incorporated all of your suggestions into my Tokyo Wizard story, and will try to do so also for any comments on my two stories here…


#20

I’m glad to see this is still around (I thought it might have disappeared). Hope I can get a chance to give it a read though!