@TisforTitan When it comes to the length of the two-step process: Think whether you like slow pace or fast pace and write what feels most comfortable and natural for you and the length of the game.
“It takes place in a steam punk styled world, in a small country ruled by a warlord whom runs the country based on tyrannical/capitalist ideals.”
Let me just toss my first few cents in as somebody who does subscribe to Capitalist ideals…
I’m going to be blunt here and say that at minimum, you’re going to need on the wording of the setting, because the way it is now sounds like you’re going to offend a few people unnecessarily. The use of a strike mark implies that Tyrannical and Capitalist ideals go hand in hand or are synonymous.
As somebody who has studied both and the various forms they take, I can say that they are not (though there is obviously room for overlap).
Secondly, I think you’re going to have to work on explaining it anyway, because there are some things in your writeup that at least sound very strange together even if they are not *necessarily* flat out contradictions.
Your country is ruled by a “Warlord” and “Tyrant”, but one who uses “Capitalist” ideals, but one of the origins is being born into “Royalty” and obtaining a “Kingdom.”
This is all giving readers like me very mixed messages about this setting and how it is structured and put together (socially, technologically, etc). Particularly: who is the warlord and their rank? How do they rule? Why haven’t the Capitalists, Royals, or both taken them out? Why hasn’t the warlord crushed these others (the Royals could be a threat to his/her authority even if s/he is one, and for very complicated reasons I won’t get into free market capitalism and tyranny tend not to mix well).
And I could go on. Because I can only name a few very select scenarios where all of these would sound like they could go together (mostly something like either Bakumatsu Japan or Warlord Era China), and I’m not sure those are what you are going for. So even if you are planning on creating a very custom or otherworldly world or social order, you’re going to want to explain it to your audience more.
Other than that, the idea sounds intriguing. So I will be keeping a cautious eye on it.
@Drazen Considering what we have talked about before, I doubt you would. Even a tyrant in the classical Greek sense would probably not get on well with you. But that’s for another time.
@Turtler Character can get one a long way, and a robber-baron warlord sounds like a lark. I assume the author is referring to a somewhat corporatist view of Capitalism, hence the remark on tyranny. The connotations around such a person gives plenty to work with.
@Drazen I agree that it gives a person plenty of room to work with. The thing is that I want the *author* the clarify it and tell us how he is going to work with it.
And regarding robber baron warlords, I’m none too sure at all. As a child of “Fair” California, we have some direct history tied into those and how nasty they can be, and those weren’t grade-A major players like the EITC, and even those weren’t the worst…
Old man Krupp and what he and his interests did in South America, Africa, and the Middle East is someone who I can only classify as a real monster.
1st, I know capitalism and tyranny don’t go hand in hand, I apologize if it was unclear but I only meant to say that it was run BY a tyrant, ON capitalist ideals.
(sorry I thought that it made sense at the time, it was my first write up so there was alot going through my head)
@Turtler, I apologize for the bad original explanation, i was just kind of getting my head around it as my story really got re-written after i released my original idea was bad (prior to posting on the forum, and because of that i was a little sketchy on the idea itself. I made the decision to somewhat simplify the political ideals of all parties within the story, and have very few of them to represent the extremist ideals of their own ideology. @Drazen, i think we are on a similar page.
So here is a explanation of the political situation in my story.
Main: (please ignore my mishap with using the term warlord. Im not sure why i kept saying it and looking back I’m not entirely sure why i kept saying it)
POLITICS: So, the country is ruled by a King (ill use king for now only as a representation of a leader whom was born into the position (and yes i know not all kings where)). the king and a few other individuals create and oligarchy, ruling the country with an iron fist, willing to do whatever necessary, to preserve order and to keep the entire country as their subordinates. as far as the capitalist part of it comes in, the Oligarchy (king + a few others) are where the majority of the countries wealth is held (very small upper class, large middle-low class). The reason that the distribution of wealth is like this, is because the “king” has exploited parts of capitalism such as the lack of minimum wage, child labor laws, etc. He believes that |individuals should pursue self-intrested goals| (not my words). If in one case wealth where to be ones goal, than not only should you pursue it, not only is it ok to exploit other to gain such a goal, but it should be encouraged, as the outcome is much more important than the means. As he is the king, he sees no problem with using the people to gain wealth, as in the end its for their benefit (so he thinks. He believes that if he flourishes than so does the country.
(Although he uses the economy to benefit himself, he keeps the government out of it.)
(the fact that the culture is very consumer based, allows for the capitalist ideology.
TLDR; “king” IS one of the “owners”, middle class=working class, Lower class=slave (more or less). “king” IS one of the owners that control the system economy, but keeps the government its self out of it.
Note: for now I’m going to keep the city politics out of it.
SOCIAL: Technology plays a big roll in society. The use of blade stone in the past 40 years [I will mention it in TECH], has revolutionized both industry and fashion. To work, blade stone needs copper or iron. during the original vitalization of blade stone, copper, iron, and balkin ore (of my creation) where over mined, causing and influx of unneeded metals; several business owners saw this as a potential opportunity to purchase the metals cheap, and try to implement them into fashion, war, and even medicine. The success gained through this entirely recreated the social picture. leathers and copper began to be used in fashion, steam powered machines such as blimps, airships, and automatons became common sites throughout the country.(the former of which, no upperclass household could go without.) With so much new technology entering in to the world, people began to start losing faith in the gods, whose priests began to have more and more trouble explaining and guessing the works of the world when there where machines that could do it accurately, only needing steam to make predictions instead of the sacrifices and gold that was needed by the gods.
TECH
[sorry, but i think ill cut it short here. if you want tech explanation than i would be happy to give it.]
I hope this is a better explanation…
@TitsforTitan
Thanks for taking the time to flesh this out! I really appreciate it.
" 1st, I know capitalism and tyranny don’t go hand in hand, I apologize if it was unclear but I only meant to say that it was run BY a tyrant, ON capitalist ideals. "
That’s what I thought you meant. Anyway, let’s carry on!
To clarify: there’s nothing inherently wrong or inaccurate with calling a figure like the one you describe a warlord. It’s just that the connotation that we tend to shade into words can get messy. Your clarification more than solves that.
Heck, your summary here’s sold me in general. I’ve always been a sucker for Steampunk (and Dieselpunk) in general, so this looks pretty fitting. The idea of an industrial boom created by cheap metals is particularly novel.
I would indeed like to read what you’ve got in Tech (such a cruel tease! :), but I know it m ust’ve taken a while to write that out. So only if it isn’t going to be a bother.
Another thing: what is the international scene like? We know the main villain is a King of a realm, but how is the country as a whole? Is this some sort of one world empire, or are there other countries out there? What are they like?
Anyway, looking forward to it. And I appreciate your response. If there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate.
Best of luck going forward.
So, Steampunk Monarcho-Objectivism under industrialist corporate oligarchs?
@Drazen …
@Turtler, I actually have a few things on tech as it might play a roll in the story. Ill post them wither later or tomorrow as i have a few things to do, (including fixing my story board.)
@Drazen yah, I think I’ll start saying that sentence more often.
@TitsforTitan
Glad to hear.
Much appreciated!
@TisforTitan
The term “middle class” would imply some level of financial agency and property ownership. It also has some pretty positive connotations regarding the standard of living of people in that class. I’d personally suggest referring to the Oligarchs as the “Upper” class, your former “upper class” as the “middle class” and the workers as the “lower class”.
Slaves, being considered sub-human, shouldn’t exist inside a class system meant to classify citizens. They should theoretically be in a class by themselves.
@Cataphrak
Thans, thats a good point.
P.S. I keep writing things and thinking “I wish I could write as well as Cataphrak” 
@Cataphrak
I don’t think it’s necessarily the case that slaves have to be considered sub-human or even property. Certainly, there are examples of classical civilizations where this isn’t the case. I believe I read somewhere that in Egypt, under the Achaemenids, slavery was simply a form of indentured labour, with the slaves themselves enjoying state protection and having many of the rights and privileges of the citizen. The slave’s master aren’t even allowed to sell the slave. When their debt was repaid, they went right back to being a regular citizen.
@TisforTitan
Thanks, though at least half of the quality of my writing comes from revisions based on the massive amounts of peer-critique I get.
@hahaha01357
Judging by the context and the tone/inspirations of the setting, I’m pretty sure pre-industrial indentured servitude isn’t what TisforTitan had in mind (feel free to correct me though).
Absolutely right there, and a very, very good point. In fact, we *think* now that slavery as a whole started as one of those clever strategies various groups had and have of getting more people cycling new genetic material in. In those cases if you whipped your slave without justification *You’d* probably be the one punished by the tribal council/chiefs/whoever.
And beyond that, in Athens they actually had the Law against Hubris (probably one of those little landmark decisions about the theory that we all have natural rights) that also governed what you could and could not do to your slaves, which included murder and several forms of mistreatment.
The sort of Absolutist slavery we see basically begins in Ancient Egypt and goes from there. Though I think that’s what TisforTitan is going for.
@turtler quite right. about the slavery. I say more or less, because due to the capitalist part ideas, there are no labor laws, so more often than not, you could be working not for money, but to pay off the cost of your uniform, or food.
@TisforTitan
That’s terrible! Is that the case everywhere in this setting? If not, what’s preventing the workers from packing up and leaving?
- no some places its not.
- the same reason it happens in the real world, oppression and death meet them if they rise or try to leave, and if they do leave where would they go?
@TisforTitan
I would still say they would need some kind of social pressure valve or system that kept them from rebelling. Generally that would imply some creation of a hierarchy within the slave class (house slaves and field slaves in the antebellum south), a chance for manumission, mandated leisure, or if you want to be really cruel, to go for the Nazi standby of “keep them so underfed that they are too hungry to think of rebellion at all”.