Haven’t tried it yet but the idea is interesting. Magical worlds have always been a favorite of mine.
mother of dragons? 
no one have asked yet if we can have a dragon or ride one? xD
(interesting idea you have there, will keep my eyes open for your updates ;))
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hahaha! That’s certainly an idea 
As for having a dragon/riding one–I’ve definitely thought about it, and there may be the option to do so–perhaps by being imprinted on by a youngling. We’ll just have to see ;D
And thank you very much~
@Arsue - thank you so much! I’ll go fix that error right away. And, haha, yeah, I was getting really tired. >>; I actually only just now fully woke up after working and napping ^^;
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Played it and woah its short
Well, that WAS mentioned… more than once. No need to rudely state the obvious 
I’d prefer something constructive over that.
I’ve got about 10k further words written, to be updated next week.
Thanks for your input, I guess?
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keep up the great work 
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I wasent being rude I was just stated that it’s was shorter than I expected
I think that was more meant as: stating the obvious isn’t really feedback…or even encouragement. Something in the sense of: If you neither have to say something that’s nice or constructive criticism, it may be better to say nothing for now. Lacking both, your comment seemed rather rude/empty, despite your intentions. Especially since the author and various others already stated that it’s only a short demo by now. You know?
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We all stumble in our comments at times, I know I have, and I think we have covered this in full, as to not to derail this thread we should move on.
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Love the sound of this and the beginning- I’m looking forward to more at some point
bump, because I’ve added a link to an updated version.
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Brief yet tantalizing! I’m already excited for this new world, and the characters! The blurb you gave sounds cool – I like the idea of searching for your best friend, and I always like stories where the protagonist isn’t the prince or princess but someone more “ordinary”.
I thought it was cool to learn how my actions impacted other character’s perception of me – I wonder if it might be better to show rather than tell though? Like maybe you could show the characters expressing themselves through gestures of expressions to convey how they felt after something I did – “He scowled, a bitter twist to his mouth” ? That’s just a small suggestion I have, not a criticism at all.
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That’s okay u probably been busy like everyone was.
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Thank you so much for your input! I will definitely take that into consideration. Funnily enough, I usually do that in my writing, but my editor said it was too subtle. Guess I need to find a happy balance.
And I think you’ll like MC’s backstory. They are pretty much the most ordinary, boring person ever, thrust into extraordinary situation after extraordinary situation.
They have a very high Luck stat, you see…
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I was cracking up when I said I don’t care about Evelyn and my MC went in a mental rant about it, love it. The story was really refreshing and I’ll definitely be keeping my eye on it.
I think my only side comment would be the fact that I didn’t know some of these characters but they were offered as a choice after the shaking. And because I just met most of them, I’m like - I don’t care enough about any of ya’ll so am I okay?! Just a side comment anyway, I’ll go back to my rock now.
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Excuse me did you bring enough rocks for everyone? if not bring it up to the front of the forum you can have it back after…you close your browser.
@ashestoashes018 your amount of cosmetic Choice was nice to have gives the comfort of feeling like you can mold yourself into the game. I liked the commentary about each option in the beginning potential upsetting someone, Cant win em all. Even when you have run to see the king you get to think for yourself which is cool.
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. . . I mean I have a few . . . not enough for everyone but a few is progress
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Thank you so much! I must have removed some of the scenes involving that when I removed bits that are going into a game based in the Citadel. I’ll have to add them back in.
For reference, I removed about 15-20k, including coding, because it didn’t fit with the story I’m trying to tell with this game.
I was very sad while doing this LOL
[quote=“Drakeye, post:36, topic:16988”]
@ashestoashes018 your amount of cosmetic Choice was nice to have gives the comfort of feeling like you can mold yourself into the game. I liked the commentary about each option in the beginning potential upsetting someone, Cant win em all. Even when you have run to see the king you get to think for yourself which is cool
[/quote]
Thank you! I had a lot of bumps on that, with friends of mine telling me I was getting too detailed. It doesn’t have a HUGE impact on the events of the story, but it does affect your family.
Besides, as an author (online, though my first novel for profit is going to be released in a month or so) of traditional CYOAs, it’s a really refreshing change to be able to give readers as much choice as possible, which you cannot do in a traditional CYOA, because things get messy… And not many people want a gamebook rather than CYOA (EG: Sorcery!)
Oh! Yea it hurts to remove your babies.
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