Hollow Monsters [WIP]

nonbinary-inclusive
low-fantasy
gender-choice
#1

Hello! There’s this story I’ve been struggling to write for years and years. This is my attempt at turning it into a game.

-PLOT-
You’ve been locked up in Amun’s dungeon for so long that you’ve gone quite mad. That’s why you’re not surprised to hallucinate a conversation with a mysterious man in the attic of a lavish house. You are surprised when he tells you exactly how to escape—and that it somehow works. It’s not long until you realize you’re shackled to this stranger in a different, even more infuriating way.

Note:There is some violence and gore at the beginning, but that won’t be a recurring theme.

- LINKS -

Very rough demo - Play the 2,800 word demo here: LINK TO DEMO (Being rewritten)

Tumblr - LINK TO TUMBLR (updated every 1-2 days)

-ELEMENTS-

  • Be male, female, or non-binary
  • Be straight, gay, bi, aromantic, or asexual
  • Go on the world’s worst blind date with a faerie
  • Risk your life—and morals—to keep your sister Natalie safe
  • Turn your house into a stronghold or set up residency in a 5-star hotel
  • Walk the line between this world and the next
  • Collect an eye or two along the way

Thanks for stopping by :slight_smile:

132 Likes
#2

That was pretty fun. I’d totally play the full version.

1 Like
#3

I like the demo so far and think it is interesting. Also I’m glad that it won’t be gender-locked. “Too dark”, “gore”, “violence”? I definitely love those issues :wink:

3 Likes
#4

Interesting enough to start but I’ll need more for a concrete opinion of it.
Can’t say if it is too dark since I’m very into dark stories, so I don’t know how dark others will consider it.
Also glad it’s not gender-locked.

1 Like
#5

Found the demo interesting and would love to see where this goes

1 Like
#6

not a lot to go on but i rather like what you’ve got so far!
i’m hooked, to say the least :smiley:

1 Like
#7

Even though it was a bit short, I like what you have and would definitely enjoy more.

1 Like
#8

The writing itself seems quite good, but I’ll wait until I’ve seen more of the story and you’ve removed the gender lock to comment more as I don’t usually play female locked games.

2 Likes
#9

I would like to read more of this!
I think the concept is interesting, and once the characters and their backgrounds are more flushed out, this story could become even more interesting!

1 Like
#10

Heya! I’d totally like to read a full version of this! Good stuff right here.

1 Like
#11

Your writing is very good. It’s quite an engaging story thus far. However, it is extremely similar to the popular WIP: Donor. Right down to the female prisoner imprisoned by a vampire. I think you could make it more unique by maybe removing the vampire angle all together and reworking the victim/captor dynamic? Or perhaps just elaborate a lot more with the capture and background of the MC and the antagonist. Maybe start the story earlier and build up to the entrapment? But yeah, I think you have a pretty good shot at making a great game. Definitely would be interested to see more.

1 Like
#12

I realized this comparison was going to be made about 2 minutes after I posted this, and it seems obvious now but I promise they are not the same. This game won’t be gender-locked, you escape the dungeon almost immediately and spend the remaining 99% out in the world, and Amun isn’t really a vampire.

I’ve tortured myself for years over whether or not to start the story before, during, or after the MC’s imprisonment. If it’s going to invite comparisons, I’ll seriously consider moving it around again. Donor is a great game and I don’t want to look like I’m copying. :slight_smile:

Also, thanks to everyone who’s commented! I know this demo is super short, it was just a little sample to see if anyone thought it was worth making into a game (because I was having my own doubts about it). Now I’ve decided to make this my second WIP!

8 Likes
#13

Hi, I’ve ammended your title to [WIP] rather than interest check, seeing as you do have a demo (…we tend to prefer people post non-demo ICs in the global IC thread). Seems like that works well with your decision anyway!

#14

I didn’t realize, sorry about that.

1 Like
#15

Interesting start, though there isn’t hardly enough of it yet to even speculate as to what will come next. Well written though, so this is one to keep an eye on.

#16

Oh wow, just that tiny demo already has me hook, line and sinker.

4 Likes
#17

I loved it! Can’t wait to read more! The descriptions were quite dark and gorey, but in a good way.

1 Like
#18

Well this game certainly has me intrigued. Who is the mystery guy and what’s his interest in us? How did we come to be held captive?

I personally wouldn’t worry about any comparisons to Donor. I admit the thought did cross my mind but “being held captive by a vampire” is hardly a unique plot. Also being a captive was the entire story of Donor while in your WIP the MC escapes three minutes into it and you stated that Amun isn’t actually a vampire.

EDIT: I just saw the “Go on the world’s worst blind date with a faerie”. Is that what Amun is? It would explain the power of his true name working on him.

3 Likes
#19

Looks very promising. Can’t wait to see more from you.

#20

I’m really interested to see where this story goes :blush: in terms of whether it’s to dark etc i personally think as long as it fits the narrative and isn’t forced then it’s fine and I really like what you have got so far i look forward to more