Cold war with magic is such a unique idea for a setting! I don’t think I’ve ever played a game like that.
I personally like how you have very little introductory text before get to make a choice, and how the very first choice feels meaningful to the character, rather than going straight to the appearance-gender questions.
The events of yesterday silenced them, independent of if your ascension gave them hope…or fear.
I’m not a native English speaker either so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I think something could probably be done to make this sentence flow better. I think you could even get away with just using “whether” in place of the text in bold.
The stone walls of the Froysbern stop to feel oppressive just for a second, the wind of the hastily abandoned castle stop feeling desolate and the cracked and decaying structure that was the terror of the people loses all of it’s previous taboo.
Okay, so here — stop to feel sounds odd to me in this context, I would recommend using “stop feeling” here as well (then you have two instances of “stop feeling” in close proximity, which is not a huge deal but if it were up to me I’d probably change one of them, probably the second one to something like “the wind […] is no longer desolate”). At any rate, since the subject of the second one is a singular third person (the wind, it) you need to use stops feeling there, with a final -s for the verb.
Finally, “it’s” should be “its”. I’ve spotted this one elsewhere, so I’ll just point it out this once. Bear in mind that it’s is the contraction of it is, while its is the possessive form (something that belongs to “it”).
Ahead of you is the last place that you haven’t explore.
Should be “haven’t explored”.
You step up in the light and feel the warmth cover you, while the balcony itself has seen better days that the half broken gray corbel and the death plants that used to decorate it, the balcony gives you a magnificent view of the mountain Berlet
I think since you have many different topics here, you could probably stand to split this one into different sentences. Like for instance:
You step up in the light and feel the warmth cover you. The balcony has seen better days. Its gray corbel is now half broken and filthy, the plants that used to decorate it long dead. What remains is the magnificent view of the mountain Berlet.
I changed around the wording some, but you get the idea. (Also, the final stop was missing in the original).
It starts going up slowly, has if it was presenting it’s splendor to the new leader of Froysia. Many people would have strong reactions to this moment. What is your’s?
I would probably substitute “rises” for “starts going up” here, but that’s just my opinion (the “start” bit does convey a bit a of flair that the unadorned verb doesn’t quite have, but you could always write something like It rises slowly, almost ceremoniously, if you think it better conveys the mood you’re going for).
Has should be as, and your’s should be yours. “As if it was presenting its splendor…” is not incorrect, but you can shorten it to just “As if presenting its splendor…” for better sentence flow.
For the answer options:
the most exhilarating emotion that I have feel
Should be felt (you need a past participle there).
The respect to my ancestors and the way that they have build a noble place like this one only has increased.
Should be built (past participle, again). Stylistically, I would probably reword things a bit to make it clearer that the respect being talked about is being felt by the MC (“The respect I feel for my ancestors…” or “My respect for the way the ancestors built…”). Regarding “only has increased”, I feel like the form I’ve seen used more often is has only increased, so that would sound more natural to me.
English prepositions are my Achilles’ heel, but I found a site with a short explanation on the difference between respect to and respect for. In this case, it’s probably “for” you want.
I wish that one day everyone in Froysia sees this beautiful place like me.
Mmm, this sentence is perfectly understandable as it is but something feels “off” to me. Perhaps using something like “…everyone in Froysia may see…” Not sure, though. Maybe a native speaker has a more natural-sounding suggestion?
I mutter a short pray to this beautiful figure weaved by the Artisans and protected by the Guardians. May one day I will be deserving of It’s glory.
Should be a short prayer. I would render the last bit “May I be deserving of Its glory one day,” or something along these lines. I assume the capitalisation of Its is deliberate, since the people of Froysia worship the sun or some such. That’s a pretty neat stylistic choice to convey that.
Only two dots there, rather than a full ellipsis (…).
You get out because you have still have business outside
Two haves here (typo, I’m assuming), should be still have.
At least now you know why is your beloved country called
Here, I think it would be more correct to use “why your beloved country is called…”