Feedback Wanted: Hunter


#1

So, I was going to wait until I was further along to post this, but I’m concerned I may be making mistakes that I should fix sooner rather than later. So as not to bias anyone, I’m not actually going to say what I think those mistakes might be… but I’d love to get some feedback, particularly constructive criticism. I’m also happy to swap feedback, if anyone who plays this has a WIP they’d also like feedback on. Just give me a link! :slight_smile:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/245368630/hunter.html

(It currently stops quite abruptly. You should, however, get a screen that says “TO BE CONTINUED” – if you don’t, please let me know where it stopped!)


#2

I would change the link


#3

Why? It’s a little awkward, since it wants you to download the file by default, but you should just be able to choose to open it in your browser.

Also, I can’t actually edit my post at this point. :stuck_out_tongue:


#4

Well concidering a lot of people use their phones to read the forum and play wips they cant download it, and even if i were on my computer, i wouldnt download it play it delete it when a update comes out download it again.


#5

That’s a good point, I’m on my phone a lot too. Here’s a normal link:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/245368630/hunter.html


#6

Also, a question to anyone playing… how do you feel about shopping? I’m considering implementing the marketplace in a fair amount of detail, now that you have some money to spend. But if everybody’s just going to be ‘okay, let’s get on with the story already,’ I could definitely save myself some time by skipping it…


#7

@Morgan_R It seems like one of those choices that don’t really have any point to them unless you are going to buy a weapon or armor etc. so if you meant shopping like going out to buy fruit then i would say skip but if it will actually make a difference in the story then leave it in.


#8

@Raulin …does it help if the fruit-seller is one of the possible romantic interests? XD

But yes, a weapon will hopefully be on the player’s shopping list, and that will obviously matter later. Possibly nicer clothes, which will have some effect on how people act towards you, though probably not in a profoundly game-changing way.


#9

Like the concept and what I know of the story, but I can’t add anything to what the previous comments have stated.


#10

@Morgan_R Then it’s probably fine as long as we don’t have to use our perception stat to find out whether or not fruit is still good or not and whether 2.99 is a good price for a loaf of bread. All i’m trying to say is only have choices if there is a decent reason for them. like instead of choosing to go and buy fruit and happen to meet the fruit lady have a choice to go see the fruit lady and happen to buy fruit


#11

It’s quite short but looks promising so far. I didn’t notice obvious misteaks.

I assume you’ll make the stats bigger, I think you should put in a list of items, including the various coins.

Will the fruit seller always be female and the Hunter always the MC’s gender or will you make their genders selectable?


#12

Thanks, folks!

And yeah, @WulfyK – I haven’t decided on stats yet. But inventory (including the coins!) is in progress.

Edit to add: The Hunter is always the MC’s gender… and the fruit-seller is always the opposite. There’s also going to be a gender-selectable ‘primary’ love interest a bit further in, but I thought I’d have fun playing around with those two.


#13

I like it a lot so far! The hunter already seems like an awesome character after like 3 minutes of dealing with them, and I REALLY like how the game doesn’t seem to be forcing me to be all gung ho about becoming a hunter. I mean, obviously, you’re probably going to make me become one at some point, it’s the title after all, but the fact that I can try to be a totally worthless weakling is refreshing.

Also you have a good talent for developing place. The world felt real.


#14

Thanks!

And you know, I’ve been waffling on railroading vs. early ends, and your comment has tipped the scales. If the player wants to jump off the main path, they’ll be able to find out what happens if they /don’t/ become a Hunter. >:)


#15

I enjoyed the story. but how come we couldn’t visit the red fruit seller and also whats a hunter’s job like? sorry if its seems like a stupid question


#16

Nice gamebook you have going so far. It was pretty enjoyable… and I must repay the fruit-seller so I hope the next update isn’t too far away! Also, it might be nice to get some kind of revenge on the other vendors who can’t even spare some leftovers. >:)


#17

@eqs189 - If you mean when you have to go to the Temple instead, it’s because you’ve got the equivalent of a $500 bill, and you need to get some smaller denominations, basically. But you’ll be able to head that way next!

What the Hunters actually do hasn’t been made clear. I’m trying to balance providing enough information vs. not info-dumping… but the main character will end up mulling things over soon, and you’ll find out more then.

@Outrageous - Thanks! Next update will definitely be soon, I want to get as far make as much progress as I can this weekend. And I hadn’t even thought of that… I’ll have to give that some thought. >:)


#18

Real interesting. Seems like it’s going to be very good


#19

Seems like a good story all in all


#20

Frankly I like it and hope that it will keep growing because it seems like it can become pretty interesting. I’ll be rooting for you…quietly…on the sidelines…in the shadows…