I like both of those ideas, though I imagine it’d be a bit clunky if you did both. I’d support either one though.
Ah yes, a fellow monkey of taste.
2 Likes
@dumpling-clouds [quote=“dumpling-clouds, post:20, topic:160580”]
a reflection on our character’s life through memories of visiting this one cultural institution,
[/quote] Great overview! Thank you.
Okay, perhaps a silly question, to anyone: how do I edit my initial post to update it? I can’t seem to find an edit button that lets me change it.
1 Like
That’s curious. You can’t edit your post as your trust level is too low, but you seem to have met all the requirements for member trust level by now.
Try asking a mod to turn your post into a wiki so that you can edit it.
Edit
@moderators could you help to turn the topic into a wiki post? Thank you.
@ChanceOfFire [quote=“ChanceOfFire, post:23, topic:160580”]
Try asking a mod to turn your post into a wiki so that you can edit it.
[/quote] Thanks! How do I reach out to a moderator?
Hello! I’ve made your first post a wiki so you should now be able to edit it 
4 Likes
Big fan of the writing and premise thus far. It is clear that you have a lot of knowledge and affection for the Museum, and the familial portions created an immediate emotional hook. Historical fiction is a somewhat neglected genre here as well, so more stories of those type are always welcome. And I got to learn about a meteorite, so that was cool. Looking forward to more.
@Wannabe_Human Thank you for taking the time to read it and share your feedback. Very much appreciated. I am aiming to share a draft or a part of the first chapter before the end of the month. I can’t wait to hear how it lands for you!
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I just posted a new update. I can’t wait to hear what you all think of it!
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Very cute and nostalgic! It is kind of giving me Catcher in the Rye vibes, not for the prose obviously, but for the bittersweet feeling of growing up and the focus on the museum. Thank you for making this and I’m excited to see how it develops!
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Thank you @TheLonesomeToad Welcome to the community, and thank you so much for both reading my WIP and the feedback.
I am curious - did you write any memorable captions?
And if you very next options was either:
- Return a few months later to visit a different floor
or - Return a decade later, and visit any floor
What might your next decision have been?
I am curious to hear from those reading the Nov 2024 WIP update:
-
Did you create a memorable caption you’d like to share and, if so, what was it?
-
If at the end of what you read your VERY NEXT choice was:
a. Return a few months later to visit a different floor (and then, in the next chapter, return a decade later, and visit any flooor)
or
b. Or jump right to returning a decade later, and visit any floor
which might you have chosen? (Please keep in mind that what you just experienced forced you to choose the 1st floor - but shortly it will change and you could have chosen any one of the four floors to have explored).
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No problem! I really enjoyed it, and thank you for the welcome
I’m afraid my captions were very boring, I think I wrote “Unwhaleavable” for the first one and I can’t remember the rest.
I think I would rather return a decade later, it would feel more meaningful and you’d be able to feel nostalgic over your past visit and how you’ve changed as a person. Of course, it depends on what happens in the story - if you can make a second visit only a few more months later equally meaningful (for example, though this is sad and may not be the story you want to tell, maybe one of your parents/guardians passes away), then I would like that as well. Overall I think both options are good if there’s something that significantly changes between one visit and the next.
I would chose months. If going to the museum is supposed to dictate/inform who we are, a decade is far too broad a gap.
After far as the captions, nothing can top “the hall of death and cooking” so that’s what I just outright stole from you.
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Thanks @TheLonesomeToad. And I like Unwhaleavable!
Thanks @AnneWest. Thanks for liking “the hall of death and cooking” - it was like the character just whispered that one in my ear, and it totally cracked me up. I was tying to summarize the hall, as it’s such an odd combination.
So I should have mentioned the plan is to have one chapter per decade, as the main character ages - so we are advancing in time one way or another. I just can’t tell if readers will want to spend more time within a decade, and during that time seeing more of the museum, before getting to advance in time (to an older self, changes in the family, and changes in the Museum). As I currently imagine it, coming back a few months later will develop your skills as you see more of the museum but major family narrative changes won’t occur until the next decade.
As I write this, I wonder if instead of limiting you to one floor per visit, and letting you come back at the same age two more times, I should change the format to allow you to see more on one visit and limit one visit per decade. For example, I can let your family visit as many Halls as you want, but limit you to three family photos before lunch then three family photos to after lunch, and add an option to not take a photo (which reduces time in the museum) so you can visit more exhibits (but once a Hall’s photo option is skipped you can’t return to take it). Thanks for letting me think this through out loud!
4 Likes
@TheLonesomeToad and @AnneWest
Can I trouble you both to share what browser you used? I am trying to debug something when I view it at CoGDemos in Firefox.
I am excited to share this months update. At last there is JUST enough to feel like you are exploring the Museum (2 of its 4 floors) and to have a complete visit (lunch, gift shop, etc.). It also has the full arc, from the start to the end of the day. I am excited to hear how it feels for you, from beginning to end, and how you experience the beats in-between.
I had a problem with achievements once posted in CoGdemos - if that messes up your game I apologize in advance and ask you to let me know which achievement it was. Some of the images are still not coming through at the end of the chapter and I am working on that.
Have fun!
Next up to is tighten bugs while finishing floors 3 and 4. Once that is completed we’ll have a full text-based simulation of the American Museum of Natural History in 1936.
And then, if all goes as planned, we’ll move to the 1940s.
5 Likes
I played through the museum trip, but stopped when I got an achievement-related error. It triggered when I finished putting the photo album together.
This story feels a lot like a genuine visit to a museum. Besides the descriptions of the exhibits themselves, the little bits surrounding the museum - the other visitors, your family members, the staff descriptions - really sell the whole experience. The sheer volume of information can get a bit overwhelming, but that’s also kind of like an actual museum.
I wish there was a little more connection between the past and future, including the applications for these varying stats. This will likely develop as the WIP does,though, so I guess it’s not critical right now. Still, I started losing my focus after a while - that’s a me problem, but a glimpse of how the player choices could influence the future could help break up the information dumping a bit in between exhibits.
Having a series of options to choose from (which exhibits to see), and then letting the player pick every option, is an odd setup for a Choice game. What’s the point of offering the choice if the result ends up being the same every time (seeing every exhibit)? On the other hand, I bet it would take away from that museum feel if it was structured any other way… maybe later on you could have a “story mode” for differing paths, and a “tour mode” for fully exhibiting the museum?
I don’t know how you’re planning on progressing the MC’s personal story, but the framing of a memory can be used in some creative ways. Suppose something is remembered faintly, or incorrectly. How could that affect the experience of traveling the museum in the past?
In summary, what this game needs the most is Hardcore Mode, in which you have to take a quiz on the exhibits you saw throughout the game to become Lord of Museum.
Oh, I thought we fixed that. Can you please tell me what browser you used? All you actually missed was one page! On the last page the day ends, it echoes elements from earlier in the story, and it sets you up to learn that the album you just created is now in your Stats section and will grow with future visits.
That’s great feedback. Thank you.
Agreed and that’s all in the works. Right now I am 1. developing the "world’ of the museum, in 1936 - 2 floors down and then 2 to go and 2. developing the MC through their interaction with the world around them. Then I will add in how one’s choice affect the future - starting with a boss level-style event at the end of the first day’s visit, which is all based on stats. Then chapter one will offer the full experience. THEN the next chapter will be the MC returning to the museum a decade later - and everything will start to layer.
I initially had it as set tour but then realized, in a Choice game, the mechanic of being in a museum is all about getting to do what one wants - or at least influencing where one’s group will go. I had a whole mechanic where your had to strategize against tour sibling to get your way, then found it was just too complicated and a distraction. But no, you certainly do not get to see every exhibit, and your choices depend on how many. It is possible to only visit 5 halls on your first visit (out of roughly 16 or so), and each Hall raises stats in different Ology areas. But I do like idea of a “tour mode” - that can be something added as an add-on; it’s certainly not the core mechanic, at least right now.
Absolutely! That is the main subject of this story, but can’t be explored until the second Chapter, when the MC has some memories to reflect upon. Each exhibit visited gives that exhibit Nostalgia. That builds over time and can impact the MC’s choices.
LOL!
4 Likes
@Deeborm Ah! Had you visited previously? There was a bug and the cache has to be cleared for it to work probably if you returned. I just did it now and it worked from front to back.
I had, actually. That must have been it.