I’ve finished the first draft of my first game, Dual Nature. In it, you play as Johnny, a man that comes back from the dead and realizes that a zombie apocalypse is happening and he is a zombie. Unlike the other zombies however, he retained his sanity. The only person he can remember is his girlfriend. He finds her and they both try to survive. However, aside from the external enemies, Johnny also experiences internal conflict between his human and his undead nature.
Currently it’s about 54000 words long, including the stats screen.
I am looking for all kinds of feedback.
My First impressions are that this game has good potential and an interesting idea behind it. However, the first section is a bit jarring with two large blocks of writing and constant " you do this" , " you do that". Maybe try spacing it out and tweeking the description.
For the rest of the story, i feel its well done and the dialogue scenes flow well but i feel that its quite surface level with very little to actually draw me into the character and i feel the way the zombies and mc become alive are a bit contrived and not very well explained, try adding more nuance and substance to the looks and feel of the zombies.
Overall for a first draft, i feel youve made a good start with a solid base. Well done
My impression of this is that it’s not so much a game, but a story with some moments of interactivity. Maybe that’s what you were going for, though.
If so, though, it seems a bit odd because it definitely has the potential to go in two very different directions. And maybe it does, later on, but… I kinda don’t want to finish it to find out.
Oi @LifeParadox, this is a pure linear story with very few and odd interactive parts and I know that some (especially Catholics) spray/sprinkle holy water on the bodies but why are some even buried with a bottle full of holy water in their pockets? Also in this version are these zombie turned dead somewhat sentient when they first wake up, cause for MC to think and feel the thirst and need to drink water felt so.
Also there are LOTS of inconsistencies in the story and almost all the choices are completely useless cause whatever you do 90% choices has the same outcome anyway.
Thank you for the feedback. Could you please explain what you mean about the game going in two different directions. Also which parts do you feel made you grow bored and what would you have liked to be different so as to maintain your interest?
Thank you for the feedback. Yes the zombies are sentient but not sapient, do you feel like that wasn’t clear or explained properly? Also could you please be more specific about the inconsistencies as well as which choices you felt had the same outcome?
I mean the first two paragraphs where the mc wakes up, i feel the constant use of you to describe his reawakening is quite jarring and could be split up and better described
