Dragon Racer (WIP) - Updated 1/30/17 (post 615)

Thank you! That comment made me feel better about it, I was kinda afraid that I was moving too slowly and it would get dis-interesting. Or that this wasn’t what people was looking for.

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Great update I like it and I think their a few grammar errors but its still great

Dragons and people as partners? It’s epic, and from what I’ve noticed, not often done. Keep up what you’re doing cause it’s amazing!!

When even the writer wants to make that possible, there’s a problem lol!

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I like the idea of this game.

The beginning does not fit with the rest of the story. It talks about wars and peace treaties. If the dragons are considered intelligent enough to make peace treaties, does that mean that humans and dragons are equals and have the same social status? Our dragon kind of seems like a pet and the racing dragons that are caged seem like pets.

On a minor note, I don’t like how the MC is so mean to everyone. MC yelled at her adoptive parents when they must love her of they have her a nice place to stay with food and took care of her without asking for much except she do her chores. She even cursed out her own black/red dragon (who was adopted too, but doesn’t complain about it) after she insulted him first.

But, overall, I like the game and MC and dragon will get revenge on Saren. He forgot that MC has acess to the stables, his dragon, and hopefully itching powder or something else that’ll help with pranks.

  1. I’ll go back through and see where I can add some nicer choices so for the riders who wish to be more polite come of as so. The thing is though if you have a black or red dragon, they’re naturally evil and rude so there’s just some interactions with them that will come out as so. If you want a more neutral or nice dragon then the other colors would be better.

  2. I can’t say much about the beginning, just that it’ll make more sense later.

  3. I see what you mean about the dragons but I also think it’s just how the readers view them. I hate to use a dog as an example but it’s the best example I can think of. Some pet owners see their dogs as pets and others see them as family members and what not. I made the dragon so that they have their own free will but they just choose not to because of the bonding aspect. With the cages, I’m guessing you’re speaking about the stable habitats, and I did my best to make it come off as not one. I’m explaining them further in the story.

Thanks for your feedback!!

And lastly you guys keep giving me ideas to get back at Saren and they are so great lol!!

let me punch saren and beat him in front of cassius,nyx and tell him if he try that again , we will bang his head with a rock :slight_smile:

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Great game there aren’t many Dragon games out there. I’ll definately be looking out for this one.

I really love this game already! The characters and world building you’re doing is great! There was one point in the game when Cassius said “she” instead of “he” when referring to my MC, I’ll see if I can go back and get a screenshot of it to give you a more accurate placement of where that was, just wanted to let you know. This is amazing and I’m really looking forward to seeing how it progresses!

So much progress and so few grammatical mistakes! I love you Author. lol Usually, I test out new WIPs and end up just banging my head against a wall to get the mistakes out of my head. I did notice a duplication when you are being evaluated after the cave race. I dunno how to input images so I can’t post the page but I hope to see more lovely dragoneering from you. I’ll certainly be buying this.

@RenaB when I go through the second rereading I’ll see if I can catch it. And if you can post a screenshot or just tell me the area it’s in that’ll be great.

@Jinx_the_Atomic_Cat thanks for pointing it out, I’ll go back and check that out as well.

Aww you guys comments made my day, thank you!!:hugging:

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I like it so far. The idea of dragon racing is not often used.
So when do I get to smack my Dragonslayer sword across saren’s face ? This dastard owes me my friggin’ gold medal :smiling_imp:(Saren hate intensifies).

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Love this game it is so much fun! It’s so cool that we can talk to the dragon!

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I feel like I’m really late because I didn’t catch your edit until now. But thanks I was always contemplating breaking up the dragon descriptions I just didn’t know how to do it.

Also regarding the black dragon, and I’ll go back to see if it’s there, but each dragon color has their own type of personality. Black and red are both the most evil, white is neutral, and blue and gold are good. So that’s where the evil part comes from, further in the story you are able to start shaping your dragon’s personality you’ll just have to be careful because it might also effect the bond.

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So, if we are too goody-goody while having a black or red it might weaken the bond ?
Will the change in personality for a evil dragon be radical ? Or more like : “since you’re asking so nicely I’ll stop sacrificing kittens to Draco-Satan at midnight as long as I can still be an ass to everything else.” ?
Because black dragons are always the coolest (cauz’ they’re S0 D4RK) but I’d like to change them to be more, at least, reluctantly good (most of my characters in CoG-style games are Paladin-like, so their personalities would clash, though it could be an interesting dynamic between the two main characters.)

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In regards to the bond thing, sometimes it might but there’s still a lot more ways to strengthen it and most of the time your dragon is on your side unless you do something totally out of your dragons personality. For example your black dragon wants to take out one of the players that will beat you (legally and non lethally of course) but you forbid it and then you lose. That’ll make the bond go down by two . . . does any of that make sense lol?

And yea the change won’t go from ‘I want to destroy the world’ to ‘I want to pick dandelions and give out free hugs’. It’ll be more realistic and be more chaotic good.

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I find this error I believe this is a error

Congratulations," Cassius tells you as he approaches, “you finished but barely. How you think they did Chaser?” Chaser groans something as he goes back back to his frost circle and lies down. “Nyx?” You look over at Nyx who is sitting on the rock with Zahara lying down in the water nearby.

“Congratulations,” Cassius tells you as he approaches, “you finished with a bit more time to spare. How you think they did Chaser?” Chaser groans something as he goes back back to his frost circle and lies down. “Nyx?” You look over at Nyx who is sitting on the rock with Zahara lying down in the water nearby.

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Do you happen to know what choice you chose before that?

If I remember correctly it was after choice
Fly smart

Continue on and maneuver them