Double Cross (WIP) -- Psychological Mystery, Suspense - UPDATE, AUGUST 2, 2020!

It is ironic how both detectives and criminals get paid for crimes. In that sense, are both simply two sides of the same coin?

Venture into the life of a detective, whose crime they solve, is the crime he commit.

Hello everyone!

Welcome one and all to my very first Work in Progress (WIP)! The placeholder title for now is Double Cross. Starting with, it has touches of psychological mystery and suspense. Moreover, what I have so far is much like a prompt with extra steps: only setting the overall mood, background, and tone of the entire story.

As such, it’s still a fetus as a story, whose entire plot, characters, ideas, events will be shaped as time goes on. That is why I’d like to ask you all, oh great readers, to please drop by! If the general shape of the story interests you, let’s start a stimulating conversation on possibilities, ideas, and criticism.

As much as this is my small story, I’m sure it’ll be great if y’all give your support.

Features
  • The game provides three backgrounds of which the MC is subjected into. These three will unlock the motivations of WHY you’d commit murder.

    • The rich background is motivated by man’s curiousity brought upon being bored in life. (True Psychopath Background)
    • The middle-class background is motivated by the death of his mother in the hands of questionable authority figures.
    • The poor-class background is motivated by the influence of Loan Sharks–and how his life got ruined.
  • The game lets you choose moral dilemmas that question your standards.

  • The MC’s skill system will be stemmed YOUR choices during his past. The main abilities are as follows:

    • Athletics
    • Intelligence
    • Persuasion
Updates
  • As of August 2, 2020, the WIP has been updated with background, achievements, and stats.

Feel free to check out the story! https://dashingdon.com/play/xeyrin/double-cross/mygame/

Also!

Please do fill out a survey regarding the game’s development after you have tried out the WIP. Your answers will be extremely helpful moving forwards!

Also!

If you have any criticisms, suggestions, pesky bugs that need to be squashed, please please please do tell us.

Thank you for following the development of Double Cross.

147 Likes

Very promising story. Very unique also gives me ‘Dexter’ vibes. (TV series) I am curious about if there would be any framing options. Like if the MC would try to frame people who are getting suspicious about murders and starting to snoop around. It would be a great thriller. Either way looking forward for new updates

10 Likes

Great demo. I love the concept of mc being the detective and the criminal. I am looking forward for future updates

7 Likes

Oh my God! What a cool concept i just love it! Can’t wait for the next update <3

3 Likes

Hi! Thanks for the feedback, I’m one of the people helping out with the story.

Yes, we do plan on making that an option, this is still a very rough wip, we hope to see your further support in the future :slight_smile:

2 Likes

didn’t expect the plot twist! it’s really good and I can’t wait to see what’ll happen more in the story! this is really a good concept. I really enjoy it!

4 Likes

Oh my gosh, the twist- I’m loving this game so far! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Two sides of a coin indeed…

3 Likes

Can’t wait to see more of the smile :slight_smile:

2 Likes

It’s a very cool concept, I like it! :wink: A decent amount of grammar mistakes, but there are a lot of grammar checkers out there to correct your own writing mistakes. One other thing is that the crime scene is very vague. You can describe it with so much more detail. In general I would love some more finer details in scenes, unless you think otherwise. It’s your story. I actually have high hopes for this one, no pressure! :grin:

5 Likes

Seems interesting

1 Like

Hello @MichaelVdA!
Many thanks in reading the rough WIP! Although we read the story, it can’t be helped that there are going to be grammar mistakes, and we do plan on fixing them when the game is finished, thanks for pointing it out! We’ll definitely look out for those pesky grammar mistakes!

As for adding finer details to the crime scene, we found it better fitting to leave it vague and ambiguous for the introductory chapter. Rest assured however, there will be scenes with more detailed descriptions of the crime scenes.

Once again, thanks for the support!

4 Likes

Wow, this storie looks so interesting :heart_eyes:, at first I thought that this would be the typical “Detective Storie” (to be honest, the start look like the start of “Wayhaven book 1” Not a negative opinion) but then I read the final of the demo and… WOW, I was surprised,
Waiting for the next updates :v::v:

3 Likes

Love the story so far. I always been a fervor fan of crime stories and it’s good to see WIPs with that kind of plot. Can’t wait for more :slight_smile:

There is a line that brings it to my attention

Summary

“Alright, Detective Ambi,” he clears er throat. “I’m Detective X, Lucero X.”

  • he clears his throat
  • Is X the surname of the detective or there is a missing var here?
  • In my opinion, Lucero is a female name. So for a male, I don’t know if that fix it (but hey, they are your characters anyway :wink:)
3 Likes

Hi! Thanks for the feedback.

We took the name Lucero as unisex, as–like in the story, its male counterpart is nicknamed as “Cero”, and female as “Lucy”. Nevertheless, if you may suggest a name, we’d be absolutely happy to take it into consideration. As for the last name, we’re still trying to find something cool. :rofl: (It’s a placeholder, don’t worry!)

Also, thank you very much for finding an error with the coding, that’s one more step in making a better-looking story!

Once again, thanks for the support!

7 Likes

Seems interesting. Waiting for next update!!

3 Likes

Well! Short, but that’s one hell of a hook! Really curious to see where this will go.

4 Likes

Minor critique: The line “It seems like a homicide, smells like a homicide, looks like a homicide.” doesnt exactly make much sense. A homicide just means that someone was killed by another. It could have been murder, self-defense, manslaughter, etc. So if they have a dead body like that, of course it’s a homicide.

5 Likes

This is twisted which reminds me of Mass Mother Murderer. It has a potential and it’s very intriguing. Perhaps, we could play as yanderes or sociopaths, there are so many possibilities :thinking: One thing though, there’s a text which is being repeated, something about the sin? Unfortunately, I don’t remember. Are the stats working, I wonder? Or is it just my crappy internet connection? Anyways, good luck!

3 Likes

A fun premise. I look forward to framing a fellow detective for my own crimes because they got too close to the truth.

2 Likes

I love this. Also getting a Dexter vibe. Can’t wait to play more

4 Likes