Divine Intervention (WIP, posted 2/6/21)

You are a human office worker, employed by the Between Realms Consulting Agency : an organization that works to protect the influence of once-worshipped gods of old. For a fee, of course.

As a newly promoted Junior Consultant, you are now able to interact with, and indeed advise, a selection of deities interested in employing your services. You will have the power to help these gods acquire more power or fade fully into obscurity, and for some, their very existence relies on you successfully managing their portfolios of influence.

This is intended to be a lighthearted, low-stakes romance game (or just office sim, for those less interested in romance).
It includes/will include:
-fully customizable MC (including pronoun selection, aro/ace options, gender identity selection, and physical trait selection)
-multiple pantheons of gods/goddesses
-Five female/male ROS (gender can be determined by player or randomly assigned), each of whom are gods from an old pantheon (including Egypt, Babylon, Scandinavia, Japan, and Greece)

The current demo is only part of chapter one and is around 18,000 words without commands. You can play it here!
I also have a tumblr.

I’d really appreciate any and all kinds of feedback!!

RO descriptions are below (mostly final; I keep tweaking small descriptions here and there):

ROs

Anubis
Once a great ancient Egyptian god of death, mummification, and various other aspects of the afterlife and Underworld. He’s usually depicted as a man with a canine’s head and can take the form of a wolf at will, but prefers to maintain a fully human form these days. His powers and influence are ever-shrinking in the modern world.

He has deep brown skin and long hair which he keeps in many interwoven plaits, each secured and decorated with golden rings. His eyes are a rich light brown. Despite his generally casual sense of style and soft-spoken nature, there is a sense of gravitas and intensity to him that you find intimidating. Such should be expected from a god of the dead.

Hermes
Considered to be the herald of the Grecian gods many ages ago. He still maintains a respectable degree of influence in the modern age, thanks both to technology’s role in communication and his occasional portrayal in media. As such, he is able to visit the human world on occasion. He cannot, however, maintain any use of his ever-dwindling powers.

He has tanned, freckled skin and soft honey-brown curls which are often covered by an ever-growing collection of hats. His eyes are a dull green. It’s clear he makes a great effort to keep up with the style trends of the human world and as a result, he looks far more approachable than some of the other clients your firm handles.

Susano’o
Once a central deity of the Japanese pantheon known for his contradictory characteristics. He maintains his notoriety through increasingly global depictions in games and other media, but he is a shell of his formal self.

His skill is pale and unblemished, and he keeps his long, unruly hair tied up. Both his hair and eyes are a deep black color, but despite his comparatively normal features, there is an unearthly beauty to him. He is not one to embrace the changes of the modern world and wears traditional Japanese clothing almost exclusively.

Baldur
One of the most celebrated and beloved of the Norse deities. He was known as a being of light, joy, and purity, but his light has dimmed over the course of many centuries. He shies away from populated areas of the human world but does find time to visit the more remote areas of Scandinavia.

He was said to be quite handsome in legends, but legends rarely manage to do gods proper justice. His hair is mid-length and a pale, platinum blonde, decorated with delicate braids, and he keeps a short, well-trimmed beard. He has pale blue eyes and a surprising warm undertone to his light skin.

Shamash
He was once worshipped as a great god of ancient Sumerian peoples and remains one of the oldest known Mesopotamian gods. However, his influence has dwindled far more than some of your other potential clients. So much so that even his immortality is no longer a given.

He has tawny skin and dark brown hair, which he keeps cut short. He sports a full beard. His eyes are dark green and downturned, and he presents himself quite humbly. Still, he was once a god of old, and has an air of gentle regality about him.

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Bastet
Once a fierce goddess awarded dominion over many aspects of life. She is now closely associated with house cats and, as such, has been known to take their form and walk among humans once again. Her powers and influence are ever-shrinking in the modern world.

She has deep brown skin and coiled hair which she keeps shaved short. Her eyes are a bright, luminous yellow, which often appear even brighter when paired with her wide array of jeweled accessories. She is very well put together and always maintains a regal appearance, making it all the more easy to remember that she was once worshipped as a powerful goddess.

Hebe
Considered to have dominion over youth by Grecians many ages ago. She still maintains a respectable degree of influence in the modern age, thanks to both the beauty industry and human vanity standards. As such, she is able to visit the human world on occasion. She cannot, however, maintain any use of her ever-dwindling powers.

She has flaxen hair and olive skin, which she frequently keeps braided and well-accessorized in intricate, modern styles. Her eyes are light brown. It’s clear she makes a great effort to keep up with the style trends of the human world and as a result, she looks far more approachable than some of the other clients your firm handles.

Amaterasu
Once a central deity of the Japanese pantheon known for her power over the sun and the heavens. She maintains her notoriety through increasingly global depictions in games and other media, but she is a shell of her former self.

Her skin is pale and unblemished, and she prefers to keep her long hair loosely tied back or completely free. Both her hair and eyes are a deep black color, but despite her comparatively normal features, there’s an unearthly beauty to her. She is not one to embrace the changes of the modern world and wears Japanese clothing almost exclusively.

Hel
One of more misunderstood of the Norse deities. She was known as being the ruler of the underworld, but her reputation has faded over the course of many centuries. She shies away from populated areas of the human world but does find time to visit the more remote areas of Scandinavia.

She was said to look half-dead in legends, but legends rarely manage to do gods proper justice. She appears to be fully living to you and others, but her pale skin and paler hair is more than eye-catching. Her eyes are quite dark, lending even further to the general sense of gloom that seems to follow her about.

Sherida
She was once worshipped as a great goddess of ancient Sumerian peoples and remains one of the oldest known Mesopotamian gods. However, her influence has dwindled far more than some of your other potential clients. So much so that even her immortality is no longer a given.

She has tawny skin and dark brown hair, which falls down her back in waves. Her eyes are dark brown and downturned, and she presents herself quite humbly. Still, she was once a goddess of old, and has an air of gentle regality about her.

218 Likes

I’m really enjoying the demo! Your writing style and concept is exactly what I go for, and I’m excited to see more and meet the ROs.

Typos

Screen Shot 2021-02-06 at 11.16.57 PM
not supposed to be a capital “Y”
Screen Shot 2021-02-06 at 11.27.15 PM
needs an end quote
Screen Shot 2021-02-06 at 11.27.51 PM
extra end quote
Screen Shot 2021-02-06 at 11.29.52 PM
another missing one

2 Likes

This is male MC short hair option? Was it meant for female MC instead or you wanted even male MC to wear hairpins?

Short, so I’ve tried to smooth and pin it into something tame.

Done reading the demo and I really enjoyed it. Liked the office convos.Found some small typos,but pretty good for first demo. Can’t wait to meet the gods… I mean,our client gods coz I already met one…hehe

The flow state of the story is well maintained and perfect. It feels in par with the direction the story is following and everything else fits into place as well. The story is engaging and the subtle hints of light humour is icing on the cake.
Val is cute and though she seems to brag she is quite likable and my MC can relate to her energy.

Parker is amiable.

Liwei seems cool but guarded and suspicious when it comes to subjects regarding his work ethic and flow. :face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle: which adds some spice to the story.

I really like this story and can’t wait for future updates. Cheers ! :beers:

This is very interesting and great concept.
Is there gonna be a save system?!?

Sounds interesting

Okay 2 things

1st

I love the demo

2nd

I feel like the way you ended the demo is good however the end of demo line being on the same page as the conference threw me off.

Oh boy let’s see if I remember how to reference multiple comments in one reply on mobile…

I probably didn’t customize that line properly. I’ll double check it to see if I can make it flow better. Thanks!

Thank you!! Very happy to hear you enjoyed it!!

I’ll add a save system once I’m further along! Im still tinkering with the stats page and variables, so there’s a good chance any saves made over the course of the next few updates will be broken anyway.

I’ll look at this again, thanks for the feedback!!

3 Likes

So far, I am enjoying the story. I really appreciate stories that place ancient gods in a more human light. It seems the gods of so many of the pantheons had human foibles (greed, envy, lust, anger, drunkenness, etc.) and it gave the so much more dimension. Plus I am always up for a good office romance, human or otherwise. Eagerly looking forward to updates.

2 Likes

Quite enjoyed reading through this, didn’t feel like it was dumping too much information and generally good pacing. Tho it kinda sucks that you can’t romance Val, she seemed cute. Then again I haven’t met the RO’s so I have no opinions about them yet.

Does your personal office have a computer like device? (Since it was stated that regular devices don’t work right) I can just imagine the MC just lazing on his/her device and there be a god suddenly appearing behind the MC possibly as a romance route event.

All in all, quite a pleasant experience. Looking forward to updates!

1 Like

Oh, I absolutely adore this concept. More modern takes on ancient mythology is something I don’t see a lot of on the forums and I’m very excited to see how this one goes. Best of luck with the writing!

3 Likes

Overall, the game was interesting- can’t wait to meet all the Gods :slight_smile:


will there be more options for hairstyles? playing as a female, it’s just flavour text (but then I’m particularly fussy about my appearance in-game, lol), and playing as a male, it may be less comfortable to choose any of these options.

Here are my suggestions (note: they are just suggestions) for the matter- you can either just take out the hairstyles, and just write- long, medium length, short, shaved, etc. OR you can have another list of options for the hairstyles.

3 Likes

thank you all for the kind words!! not really sure if it’s standard practice to respond directly just to say thank you but I am tenderly holding these kind words to my chest haha!

I’m glad you like the coworkers (or at least one of them)! I thought about making them ROs in the very early stage, but ultimately I think 5 gender-flippable ROs is already more than enough for me to handle.

Yep! They have devices similar to computers, but their servers are entirely self-contained and the power source is a little bit different. There are secured servers that have remote access to the internet on earth too, but employees need to schedule using those devices. I’m still working through the specifics of this, so if you see any inconsistencies as far as the way things are described please let me know!!

@Mistyleaf123 thanks for the suggestions! I think I’ll probably just expand on the length options and remove the style descriptors entirely, since you’re not the first one to point this section out. Will be pushing this change next update :))

3 Likes

I enjoyed this! I should’ve ignored this and waited until there was more to read though-

Hermes was such a delight in his brief scene! It’s cool to see mythology outside Greek too. Not that I mind Greek. It’s popular to write from (and probably the most comfortable for people, such as myself??) but seeing Egyptian, for example, is cool! I need more: please and thank you! (But, like, take your time of course-)

1 Like

I really enjoyed this. It’s really a fresh take on gods and mythical creatures. I have a question: Will we deal only with the assigned gods or will there be some others on our list?

Typos and Grammar




In first one, it should be Taj Mahal.
Second one has extra quotation marks at the end of 5th dialogue.
Third one has a typo in 4th line, instead of a it must be as and in 7th line, it should be her instead of hher. Maybe you can start the sentence with She was instead of just was.

thanks for giving it a try!! I’m busy at work on the next update so hopefully you’ll be able to sink your teeth into that soon :))

Thank you!! There will be some other interactions with gods/figures from mythology that aren’t your clients (there’s already been one such character introduced), but naturally most of the emphasis will be on the 5 you pick as clients. And many thanks for sending over those grammar/typo mistakes!

1 Like

Your story in my unprofessional opinion is a fresh and interesting take and has been something I thought about since the power and following of the ancient religions/Godly beings and creatures has been largely diminished (let’s bring back the old gods and temples) I think the ROs being godly beings from around the world is great and new and them being our clients would make the romance more intriguing. Am excited to see where the story goes and can’t wait for next update

Largely diminished? Okay, I’m curious! If you don’t mind, could you expand on this? Because I’ve been toying with the idea of doing a story focusing on gods and such. (Kinda already am but in a possible future work, it would be a bigger focus??)

2 Likes

I’ll glady expand on it. I shouldn’t assume anything but I did so shame on me. Anyways under the assumption that Godly beings power come from their respective followings then these Ancient Gods/Godesses power would decline as their followings have dwindled as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, and Shintoism among some others that have risen in following and power

1 Like