Epic Scale
Evolve your character across an epic tale spanning three books.
I see! You were referring to this section here. Got you, it doesn’t mean in the literal sense, though without wanting to give away too much, your character will change physically, emotionally, and gain in power throughout the narrative. But, no they do not change into another race or creature, as cool as that sounds.
I definitely want to try out the game and its entirety. Just have to fix one issue, which are the paragraphs. Especially when you need to separate the dialogues from characters so that they don’t appear in one clunk of texts.
Well if author able to pull this off this definitely will be great, so far this seems to be the most detailed character creation ever.
Interesting though.
Hello, author. I just wanted to say that I personally really enjoyed your work. It’s certainly a bold choice to have such a lengthy, slower-paced start and I must admit I was ready to click off at the beginning, but the creative descriptions kept me reading further. Your style of writing really evokes emotion and flares up my imagination like nothing else, even in scenes where nothing extremely exciting is happening.
I’d also really like to praise your commitment to making decisions feel real and impactful with attention to detail. Granted, it’s still only the start, but having not only different nose, lips and ear types as well as different comments from characters for each of them AND short descriptions for all of them? It really helps make each decision feel equally meaningful and avoids the notion that there’s one set of choices that the author actually wants to write, whereas the others are simply tacked on just so it can be called a choice game. My personal favorite example is the birthmark, where if you say that you want a birthmark and then later decide against it, the characters will comment on it just being a smudge of blood and wipe it off. It’s these kinds of little details that ultimately convinced me this would be something special and I wish to encourage you in having more of them. They may not be huge and eye-catching, but they certainly make the world and MC’s place in it just that more believable.
Yet, as much as I love them, I’d also like to express a shred of concern. As others have mentioned here, while unique and a joy to read, this kind of writing style is most certainly very tough to use for a choice game and I fear that you will ultimately tire of your work before you get to finish it, which is something I hope never happens. I don’t wish to tell you to abandon your style, just maybe to tone it down a bit, not only to avoid the problem I mentioned above, but also because some scenes can get unnecessarily wordy.
Overall, I love the direction the book is taking and will most definitely see it to it’s end. If there’s one thing I could ask: how many fantasy elements will be present? Unless I missed it, what I’ve read so far has no mention of any magic or fantastical beasts, so how far removed from our reality is the world of Iseir?
P.s. Please excuse the long comment and any mistakes you may find, English is not my first language.
First, let me thank you profoundly for the kind and thoughtful feedback. I sincerely appreciate it and the time you spent to write it. I will definitely be refining and paring down some of the lengthier scenes and passages as I get closer to the completion of the story, and it is feedback like this that makes such a process so much easier. I’m glad you caught some of those little things with the narrative; that is precisely the point of adding them. They take a bit more time, but I aim to create a story where your character feels a part of it, not above or beside it. So thank you for that.
I appreciate your concern; I have planned a rather large undertaking. But, this story has been bumping around in my head for the better part of a decade, and if I don’t tell it, I’ll likely go nuts 
I’m here for the long haul, I hope you will be too.
As for the story world, the Vanir, the inhabitants of Iseir, are loosely based on the Viking Age Norse, the occupiers of their land (which, as of yet, you haven’t been introduced to but will shortly); the Altim are again loosely based on Anglo-Saxons of around the same time. However, each has distinct characteristics, so they should feel different. Also, while there are similarities between the flora and fauna of our world, there are entirely new species roaming the world. As far as magic goes, well…I won’t say that it doesn’t exist. It’s just not prevalent in the early stages of the story. But it does play a part in the narrative.
Again, thank you very much for your kind words, and I will do my best to tighten everything up as we go. I always find it easier to take out than put in, so the end product should be tighter and read quicker.
Now the question of commitment or ambition is out of the way, I can tell you author one thing.
Let’s gooooooo.
Update 3/31/24
Hey everyone!
I just updated the story, which roughly doubled the word count, added two new scenes (actually closer to six as they are rather long), introduces four new ‘friend’ characters and a number of supporting characters, and allows you to finally name your character and begin tweaking some of your stats, setting the stage for further development. Also, the update adds save/loading though I’m unsure of how further updates will affect those, so don’t hate me if I break them. Also, I added a system that will allow you to quickly create a randomized character and jump to just before the latest scenes. Hopefully, this will help mitigate the clicking like crazy on the screen to get to the latest content. As always, please let me know what you think, if you find errors (bound to be some), or have any suggestions for me going forward.
Kind Regards,
Rob
Let’s goooo.
Btw I meet error does everyone also encounter it?
Dashing don link not working my man 
I get a save error in the moody demo, right after I chose the no birthmark option. It’s say “Non-existent command “save checkpoint””
Yo dude looks like both demo link have error
Dashing don sht link will open but won’t run just blank white page
Moody link runs only a small smart after u reach awakening part shit also stops in both case whether it’s a random or custom mc u play
Yikes! I should’ve playtested the story on Moody and Dashingdon before updating. So sorry about that! Neither site plays nice with CS’s checkpoint system, which, during my testing outside of them, worked well. I’ve commented out that system for now and am using Dashingdon and Moody.Ink built-in system for saving. Again, I apologize for the sloppy update; I’ll be more diligent going forward.
Everything on the sites should be working now. Again, please let me know if you come across further issues.
You write great descriptions, and your prose has a melody to it. Also, tension is conveyed really well. I’m enjoying this quite a lot.
Played the demo as good as always, again’ hands of to your literature skills, u specialising in literature course or ur real life job focus on novel field cause ur writings gives the vibe of a professional Author 
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Loved the way u expressed the sceneries the mc explores with his father and the new introduction of character and meeting new baby buddys😂 which all of them looks like our future romance options, and interaction with ur family members
,also loved the name concept gaining attributes according t ur chosen name first time seeing it here and other text games, looking forward t ur next update 
Good story, I like it so far. The only thing I don’t like is that character designing, too many unnecessary details.
Thank you very much for the kind words, I’m thrilled you are enjoying the story.
I appreciate your support @Lordking , sorry about the snafu with the update earlier. You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you what I do for a living. It has absolutely nothing to do with writing…but someday 
Thanks for calling out what you’ve enjoyed, it helps to know people are digging some of the things I’m trying to do to mix things up.
Thank you very much for taking the time to leave a comment, I sincerely appreciate it and I’m glad you are enjoying the story. I totally see where you’re coming from with the character creation, my hope is to weave in a lot of those things into the narrative sometime down the road, so they hopefully won’t feel empty. Stay tuned! Who knows maybe someone will pinch your character’s cherubic cheeks 
Paragraphs look a lot well-structured now!
