Blood Rights (WIP--Demo available November 6th)

So I just started a project tonight after getting familiar with choicescript. I’m planning for it to be a unique take on the idea of vampires (somewhat) integrating into society. Your character will be a part of what’s essentially an organization that governs the supernatural (including providing help to vampires with a program that provides blood). Specifically, your character is part of an investigative task force assigned to take down rogue vampires, though things get much more complicated than that. The existence of vampires and other supernatural beings is hidden from the general population to prevent widespread panic.

I’m thinking I’ll give the option to play as either a vampire or a human (there’s at least one vampire on your team).

My biggest concern: Would you be less interested if it took a little while to introduce any choices and your character?

What I’ve worked on so far is plot establishment and the setup for the first scene. This includes a prologue and the beginning of the first scene which let you know what exactly your character is getting dropped into.

Character introduction is also going to be heavy in the first part, but I’m not as concerned about audience reception to that considering your character will already be introduced and given options and the ability to participate in conversations, though what I’ve written also assists in character introduction.

Here’s the big question: Would you be less likely to play a game like this if the buildup to introducing your character was just shy of 3,000 words?

Here’s the demo!

77 Likes

Length is just one factor. The author of the Samurai books and Fatehaven writes very well, even if his writing is compact.

If you are asking if 3,000 words is a good enough demo, then I’d say no - that is an entire different question though.

I was told by multiple authors to just write and let everything fall into place from there. So, that is what I’d pass on here - write first 90% of the works started never get finished. If you finish you’ll be ahead of most.

13 Likes

It’s certainly going to be much longer. I mean to say that there are currently 3,000 or so words before your character is actually introduced and the option to make choices becomes available.

2 Likes

That is ok, as long as the 3,000 words are not an info-dump. In my experience, the more your story reads like a text-book, the more your readers will have flashbacks into their least favorite class in school.

Said another way, if your pace and cadence is rocking (eg “good”) then you’ll be fine. If your aim is to be published in CoG it might be harder but the independent label has starts with even more then that…

5 Likes

I will likely get frustrated if my character doesn’t show up immediately. I may accept a single page, perhaps two of setting information, but then I want to be there, in the middle of everything, making choices. It’s interactive fiction after all.

21 Likes

It definitely sounds like a great idea

1 Like

I personally do like this idea myself. Seems interesting.

1 Like

3.000 words is quite massive texts, IMO. But as the quote :point_up_2:, if you can build a good pacing and “jumpscare”-ish transitions, the pacing itself should be enough to keep the readers interested even without choices introduced yet.

edit: why on the world I’m replying to you @Eiwynn :v

1 Like

Only you can answer this … I just assumed it was because I am me. TTFN.

2 Likes

Sounds interesting I’ll like to be vampire tho that cool

1 Like

That sounds really interesting!

1 Like

Are you going to have other types of monsters in your team?

1 Like

Short answer: No, I don’t mind.

Long answer: Pffffft! Do you know why I lurk around these forums as much as I do? Because reading is an hobby of mine. I love watching stories unfold before my eyes, seeing them progress from their baby stages to a full release. If a 3k intro were enough to drive me me away then what, by all that is stupefying, am I doing here?

There’s all sorts of readers around here - people who want to jump right into the action (choices in a short notice) and people who like to dip their toes first (long intros explaining the lore, current events, etc). Write to your heart’s content. There will always be a few souls around here who enjoy what you do.

18 Likes

Story idea seems quite interesting~ And i got a thing for vampires~ So i wouldnt mind playing a vampire MC :smile:

1 Like

It’s not easy (at least, not for me), but you have to let yourself go when you write. Being in the autism spectrum, i have a harder time than most doing this, but I’ve been working on a new age-esque sci-fi short story for a while now, and so far it’s coming along well.

Case and point: don’t let your head rule your heart when it comes to writing.

3 Likes

I would be very interested

1 Like

Nice to meet another autistic writer on here😄

1 Like

Maybe. But MC is part of a branch of the organization that’s specifically vampire focused and vampires are…weird when it comes to interacting with other supernatural creatures. As a whole they’ve more or less isolated themselves from the rest of the supernatural world (in part because trust issues stemming from extreme species loyalty and general sense of superiority). MC’s team is focused heavily on covert operations and other supernatural beings would set off alarm bells for mostly any vampire they go after. That’s why the team has vampires, too. It’d be impossible for someone who isn’t a vampire to get inside bigger operations.

That’s kind of what I figured but I was a bit anxious about moving forward without feedback😅 Personally, I think it’s interesting enough to keep someone reading. It’s also my own writing, though, so it’s hard to judge without bias, haha.

1 Like

Also…coding is fun but frustrating. Not how I expected it to be, honestly. I haven’t really gotten into the thick of it so far but I’m looking forward to working more on this😄