RO List at the bottom of this post!
Following a brief discussion with spoano, I’ve decided to open up a new thread to solicit feedback on my latest project. It’s mostly done! The epilogue can be fleshed out, but I’m not sure with what… you’ll know when you get there. If you’d like to provide me any sort of feedback, the world is your oyster. I previously selected a handful of beta readers but I don’t want to put too much pressure on them and really, everyone on this forum is so great and helpful that i’ll take any feedback you got. Specifically, here’s what I’m looking for:
First and foremost, i want you to tell me if something sucks. You don’t even need to be particularly tactful. If something’s a continuity error or doesn’t make sense or (heaven forbid) the game is broken, tell me . Email me directly (it’s my CoG username at protonmail) or DM me on the CoG forum or post in this thread! I will reply very quickly unless i’m asleep, in which case i’ll respond when i get up. I have some specific things i’d like feedback on:
- Screen length. Readers during the WIP requested longer screens, and I’ve done my best to oblige. If they’re still not long enough, let me know.
- Achievements! If I’ve done my job, there will be things in the game that are super cool. I’d like to lampshade those with achievements, and maybe add some others too. Let me know what you see that’s cool, and if you have any other ideas then hit me with 'em.
- Romance. I like to pretend I know how to write romance, and i think i’ve done a pretty good job this time. But if there’s anything that’s super cringy or yucky or unfun, please let me know.
- Everything else!
- The epilogue! This version of the game carries you all the way through the “ending”, but I’m also writing epilogues for whatever situation the player might be in following the ending. What would you like to see there?
- And MOST importantly, how you’d like to be credited for your help: real name, forums name, some other alias, whatever–DM/email me this, please.
30 Save slots are enabled, so save early and often and feel free to jump around and test different things out. The length is about 200k words, so i’m not asking you to complete the whole thing (although, of course, you can!)
The link to the story is above (under the picture of the space car), and also HERE!
That’s all! Thank you for your time. This project means a lot to me and I’d love your feedback.
Edit 1 of probably many! Sorry, forgot content warnings:
This book contains:
- Some potential opt-in RO sex (nothing super explicit),
- some language (no slurs, but some profanity)
- some violence (mostly avoidable)
Firmly between PG and PG-13
Sergeant Duke Gale
Male, 39 – A former soldier, Duke found his calling in the totalitarian Panwestian Police Department. Decades of authoritarian enforcement and toxic masculinity have taught him to push away any sympathy that might get in the way of his job. He’s got a good heart deep (deep, deep, deep) inside – can you win him over?
Female, 22 – The face of resistance in Panwestia, Janelle’s attempts to organize a rebel force landed her in jail… and potentially next to you on a rocket to the sky. A voice for the downtrodden, stepped over, and forgotten, Janelle is simultaneously an idealist and a realist. Don’t be one of the many who made the mistake of underestimating her.
Captain Kelly Sato
Female, 40ish – Captain Sato is in charge of interstellar inmate transport. Sixteen hour days are tough, but they’re the only way for her to secure a future alongside her son while he’s still young enough to make fond memories with her. Bring her in on the plan and you might unlock a softer side… or at least a more passionate one.
Professor Alex Harrell
Nonbinary, 29 – Does having one of the world’s most brilliant scientists teaching a rudimentary mining class on a space station make sense to you? It doesn’t make sense to Alex, that’s for sure. They want to get back to Earth and they want to get back to useful research. Maybe they’ll find love on the way? That’s up to you.
Danny Le Blanc
Male, 27 – When backed into a corner, the normally peace-loving Danny fought back against Panwestia in a way he never could have imagined. It was enough to send him straight to the asteroid mines. Danny’s not sure what he wants. After seeing the grimy way things really work, he’s kind of got a taste for power. Will you encourage him, rein him in, or stay out of his way?