Azmuran: The Rise Of A Vampire Lord (WIP - 80k Total Wordcount)

Was wondering why the link didn’t work, but I managed to find that other one. Thank you.

I managed to rewrite the entire prologue. I was planning to upload the update with at least completing act one and two of chapter two but as I read through it I realised there’s still a lot of incomplete scenes.

So I’ve updated only the new prologue which is around 20k words last I counted two weeks ago, it’s probably more now but I’m more anxious to see what everyone think. (Which is actually less compared to the old prologue that had like 26k total words)

@Shoku I’ve also added the scythe at the prologue but haven’t fully fleshed out all techniques yet. However it’s origins, it’s complete. So it’s possible to encounter that weapon again around chapter 5 again.

12 Likes

Been waiting a long while for this game man

2 Likes

Finally time to be a menace :smiling_imp:

1 Like

I have been waiting for THIS time to be a Vampire Not Lord BUT GOD

1 Like

Bugs I found

From what I’ve read so far, I’m loving it, and the prologue even seems like a good combat tutorial.

As soon as I’m done with act one. I’ve been touching act one and Lord Boltmond battle back to back whenever I took a pause from the prologue rewrite. But when I’m done with act one, I’ll go to act two and then we can finally encounter Francis!!!

Thank you, will get on it​:fire::fire::fire:

Can’t wait :santa::santa::santa:

@JonBlack found this:

choicescript_stats line 54: The indentation on this line includes whitespace that is neither a space nor a tab. Delete the whitespace and replace it with spaces or tabs.

Is there any romance?

It’s ok at start. My issue.

When trying to be cautious type, or what seems to be cautious options. The chatter itself opposes being that way. My options of not taking things for granted isnt accounted for.

To live a millenia requires not taking anything for granted. Unless we have no choice of being morons?

Just, its conversation opposes the choices made.

Maybe if I was younger, sure or not the cautious type that I was led to believe?

I get what’s supposed to happen. Its just what I chose and what I think/said don’t align. If I went the silly idea of just charging in, no problem then.

My thought on myself at beginning is.

“Yep, that’s what you deserved for being such a brash moronic careless idiot. Good riddance. That’s why should never underestimate anyone, ya dick. How old are ya? Actin like a damn juvie.”

Again, opposite of my choices I was able to select. Chose spear due to better reach than a sword. I know the outcome will be the same. But should take in consideration of those that didn’t select (charge in!)?

Technically after doing all the questions of whats seen. It was obviously a trap. I knew it was capable of full power. Hence why tried stealth path. Nothing wrong about the outcome, its expected. Knew it was coming after the Q&A.

Summary

his can’t be happening. No vampire, not even a halfling, should have been able to match your strength and skill. Yet here you are, defeated by this very creature. It’s unfathomable, surreal—a nightmare that can’t possibly be real.

If only you had been just one step ahead. Maybe then you would have survived, emerged victorious. If only you could have predicted this outcome, perhaps the results would have been different.

But now, in the face of your downfall, the questions swirl in your mind, each one more tormenting than the last.

How could I have been so blind to the danger (I knew after questioning, it was obvious!) How could I have underestimated my opponent so gravely?

The weight of your failure bears down on you, the once-unimaginable scenario playing out before your very eyes. (No, I knew the sword was powered, it was an obvious trap.)

The Fall Of A Vampire Lord.

My suggestion is for those that did the Q&A and thus know its a trap. If encounter is inevitable to happen, fade it black instead?

Those that rush, charge, brazenly go at it. It doesn’t need altered in any form.

The question after intro, can you change it? Means exactly what I knew prior to this question after the chat with ally.


Found another error

Could you please specify which scene opposes that and what is it that you had hoped to happen when your character had a choice? The choices that you picked but didn’t align what you had thought if you don’t mind.

With the spear option as well. By charge in, you refering to the ending scene against Luce or those armed men?

Also the last part, about the sword:

It’s not actually powered. What I was trying to do as a whole was to make it seem like it was but that is far from the truth. In actual fact, the sword itself was supposed to be a selectable weapon at the old version of the prologue. I simply allowed Luce to have it in this new to cause confusion but I see my execution failed by making the narration seem that it works when it doesn’t? It’s why the character constantly said that the sword no longer works, but because of the outcome, I was trying to add doubt.

Twin supposed to be a boy or girl? As his or her sister it bounced around. Enjoying it otherwise, besides intro.

@Ninja_King @Bulk_Biceps thank you.

@Custodes, there will be but not so much of it

2 Likes

Supposed to be opposite that what you pick. If your character is a prince heir, the twin becomes Vivian.
And if vice versa, twin becomes Matthias.

I will recheck again for those errors sanku very much!:fire::fire::fire::fire:

I wouldn’t trust attacking him there in that room. He set some type of trap. No idea what but isn’t wise to go to him. Force him to come out. Especially knowing about rituals after talking to mother. He was waiting specifically to enter there.

Perhaps after I go further. Because what happened isn’t aligning with what I expected. Especially doing tactics and learning rituals exist. Makes it even more of a trap. The way Zaeriel described he is standing, waiting with a sword in hand. Idk. Its definitely opposing concepts.

Again. If I just rush into things, not questioning anything and verifying things, within story, it is fine as is. It just, feels detracted otherwise. Somehow.

Edit: Best stealth take downs. Reach around to cover mouth and plunge the dagger up through the ribcage into the lungs. Best silent kill if too many around. Gurgle loud sounds in a quiet night via slit throat isnt the best.

Just fyi. :wink:

Besides intro (its not the death that bothered me) enjoying most of it thus far.

Also, when sneaking past camp, with horses, and pass the camp. William talked about their horses are guarded, we cant steal them. Next page, our horses made it with us, as planned. I cant copy paste prior mention as already passed it. Right after sneaking past camp at night. We had no intention of stealing horses, especially well guarded ones.


Was able to copy this. Princess not prince. Maybe majesty or another neutral word to avoid coding?

“Are you alright, my prince?” Milly asks, her voice laced with concern as she approaches you. Just as you’re about to answer, Francis’s distant shout cuts through the air: "I found it!

Cool, will add a choice to force out Luce and more of those stealth scenes.

But thing is, oof me and spoilers, but I will say since I need feedback and it will be explained later in the story.

When one becomes a vampire lord or vampire lord candidate (which in this era it can only be your character or your twin’s character) They are cursed with a vision that shows how the character dies. It’s a fateful death that is believed to be unavoidable, regardless of your many attempts to avoid it. The 2nd Vampire Lord did everything she could to avoid it but failed. The 3rd Vampire Lord however, managed to bend fate, but the inevitable fate still happened which is why his soul is transparent. He’s neither dead, nor alive. And how he achieved such is yet unknown. Now the 4th Vampire Lord (your character) is also cursed with this knowledge as well, whether fate will be bent, we shall see. But that doesn’t mean if they saw how they die, then they can’t die before reaching their fateful event. The others can still be avoided, but this one, it’s up to date and your character.

Also at the beginning of making this story, there was supposed to be a choice that allows the character to avoid being a vampire completely and become a vampire hunter by simply holding the sword of Magnus before Francis.

Back then I didn’t fully flesh out the story but now that I know the entire story, I’m starting to reconsider adding it back. This single choice will have a new set of storytelling.

I will look into that camp scene as well, thank you!

6 Likes

Word came to mind finally.

Character archetype.

How one does things versus how another does things. What they do and how they do.

The brutish one versus the stealthy one versus the thinker and etc. Which is also a brutish stealth type within story as well as thinker stealthy but not the wise thinking brutish/stealth. But the options are within to do so when was human.

2 Likes