This is the first thing I’ve ever written, so feel free to give me any feedback or suggestions you might have on the writing, the story, or the characters.
Your older brother is only a year and a half years older than you. He was almost done with his second to last year of school at Ashbourne Hall when your mother suddenly died. Having no idea how to educate a proper young Lady, your father sends you to Ashbourne, who has added a girl’s school in recent years. When there’s an attack in the school, you are unable to save the life of your new favorite teacher. Will you be able to uncover the killer while also dealing with the drama that comes from attending a boarding school? And will you find yourself falling in love? (Book 1 of 4. Probably.)
Gender-locked Female. I wasn’t going to lock in gender, but I think there would be too many variables, given the fact that it’s a pretty realistic historical story
3/4 RO’s with gender choice
You can avoid romance, but I don’t recommend it. Romance will be a big part of the story
Historically Accurate?
I want it to be realistic, but I also want people to be comfortable with the setting. And the fact is, not everything from history is great. So, here’s how I’m going to deal with some things
The traditional gender roles are still in effect, but there’s no outright sexism in the game
You can only marry the opposite sex, but you can have a same-sex romance (to the same extend you can have any romance in this time period)
Like Bridgerton, your race doesn’t really affect social or economic standing. Unlike Bridgerton, I don’t have a reason for this
Setting
Vaguely Mid-late 1840’s (early Victorian)
Start of school year-start of winter break
Ashbourne Hall. A country home turned boarding school. The boys learn history, math, science, and literature. The Girls learn history, literature, and the arts
ROs
Edmund James (M) Academic and reserved. Chocolate Brown hair and brown eyes. Glasses. Noble family. Kind but doesn’t speak much.
Trope: Arranged Marriage
Oliver/Olive Price (M/F) Outgoing and Athletic. A year older than MC. Black hair and green eyes.
Trope: Brothers Best Friend.
Charles/Charlotte Brown (M/F) Sweet and Shy. Poor family, father works at school. Deep brown hair and hazel eyes. Freckles.
Trope: Forbidden Romance
Alexander/Alexandra White (M/F) Partier but Sincere. Protective. Blond hair and bright blue eyes.
Trope: Rake in Love
Let me know what you think! I plan on updating whenever I finish a chapter
It is fairly short. But I love it already . The premise is interesting you had me at the year I live stories playing in that time period.
Also I liked the banter with the brother ( I love sibling dinamics. You might want to think about giving the reader more opportunities to react thought since there are always people who refuse to come to the bright side of good sibling relationships )
Do we know an of the RO’s already? Or are we going to meet them all for the first time in school.
Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it. The next couple of scenes are really RO focused. I’ve given each one a scene to themselves so we can really see their personalities. The MC has met two of them, but I wouldn’t say she knows either of them, though
I’m glad you like it! I’m excited about all those tropes too.
I tried using the insert text command, but it didn’t work for me. I’m going to try to figure it out though. I know I like putting in my own name
Love the RO tropes and I like what you have so far. First things I noticed though; on the first page of text where your brother asks if you’re alright ‘Quiet’ is capitalized when it should be lower case, and I would suggest on the coding to replace your line breaks with just blank lines. The line breaks aren’t spacing out the words so on mobile it’s a long wall of text, you can correct that by just doing the blank lines or adding an extra *line_break line to actually space them out.
For readability purposes, you may want to add some hard breaks after each paragraph. There are a few punctuation issues, too. If you want any help cleaning them up, I’d be happy to help you!
Oh, no. Arranged marriage and brother’s best friend—I’m in danger. :')
This is always a very good concept. I can’t wait to see how it goes!
Some hard breaks would be appreciated! The closeness of each paragraph makes it hard to focus for most individuals, especially since there’s no indentation capability.
. The premise is interesting you had me at the year 
I live stories playing in that time period.
)
Arranged marriage especially! It’s my favorite.
