Animus - Soul of Ice (WIP) (Updated with Rewrite 2/6/2018) Poll on most 20

I’ve recently started working on my first game Animus! This is my first time coding and also ever being brave enough to show my work to public audiences so I’m pretty excited. Ill update this thread as I update and read feedback. I love to hear from people both good and bad as that is the way to truly get better at anything you do.

Below is a summary of what the story is going to be and where I plan on taking it!

Summary:

Enter the world of Animus.

Beings of unrivaled power and unknown origin are locked away in seals. These seals have been passed down from person to person for thousands of years. The bearer is given immense power with no limitations or expectations. From the ability to control water, to summoning monsters of terror or wonder there is nothing the Animus can’t do! But how the ability is used is up to the bearer. Your Power. Your Choice.

Set in Detroit, Michigan you are a senior in high school who is brought face to face with their desire to be in a fantasy world. What starts as a simple choice to embrace your dream turns into a fight for your life!

As you become one with your Animus others will try to kill you and your new partner. Will you choose to fight back against the those who wish you harm? Or will you worry about staying alive long enough the graduate high school? One thing for is for sure though…its all on the choices you make!

Features:
Be male or female

Romance character with no restriction on sexual orientation. There will be two female and two male. I might be added a hidden RO as well.

Endings will highly vary based on your choices. Some major some small.

Charcters:
MC: Highschooler who is given a Animus with the power of Ice.
Rai: originally bearer of your Animus.
Angel: Bearer of the Animus of Light. She is stong and independent women who might just save your hide.
Tony: Bearer of a Earth Animus. Using his strong defense abilties he might be what stands in the way of your death or your growth. Watch out for his gruff personality!
Mysty: Bearer of a Summoning Animus. kind and gentle Mysty uses her summons to strike fear for her.
Kaze: Bearer of a Metal Animus. Kaze is loud and always joking, but when he gets mad its best to not split hairs…otherwise he might split you.

Link:
Original:

https://dashingdon.com/play/omegareaven/animus/mygame/index.php?cb=43430

Rewrite version:

https://dashingdon.com/go/2293 (This is my new version o the game. I like it better, but want to hear from everyone.)

Updates:
You can now choose your name. Some grammar and word errors updated. Pronouns should now be working correctly. 1/21/2018

Prologue is now finished and story is about to take its first major branches into chapter one. 1/21/2018

This is a brief summary ill update more info tomorrow! Ill be trying to stay very active with this thread and trying to get feedback and desires from the community on what you would like to see!

45 Likes

Holy fricking cow!!! I need this. RIGHT NOW!!! please.

1 Like

The wip seem very interesting! Although, there is many errors in the demo.

Summary

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I don’t understand.
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A comma between ‘voice’ and ‘only’ ; its, won’t
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Commas between the highlighted words
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2 Likes

I’m currently working on finishing chaoter one and working on if statements. Once I get better at those and get the name code working won’t take me long to finish the first chapter.

Yes its very rough most if not all has had no revision so any error reports are great so I can fix them! Ill be sure to fix the ones you’ve shared so far.

Can’t wait to share it with you!

Seems good but really short

1 Like

I’m still in the first stage/scene of writing. Next weekend I should have all of chapter one done or so I hope! The action is about to start and charcters are going to be introduced.

Liking it so far, when do we get to pick names?

1 Like

At the start but I’m having trouble with the name code so I just had placeholders atm. You’ll get to pick your first name and the name of your Animus!

That was pretty cool! Definetly something to watch.

BTW Taekwondo is all one word and does not have a u at the end.

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Thanks ill change that now while I’m updating errors! I couldn’t for the life of me,remember so I put down what sounded right at the moment lol.

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Love the idea and can’t wait to see where this goes. I read this on dashingdon yesterday. Hope the next chapter is longer! And can’t wait to meet some new characters.

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Next chapter is going to be a lot longer. Depending on the choice you make it will branch into two separate chapters. The first characters both good and bad that really affect the story are about to appear and I can wait to bring them forth!

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Getting a bug when I set Rai as bully.
Also, why the Eragon reference? There are those of us who enjoy fantasy without enjoying Eragon, and lumping the two together can be irritating.

Ill work on the cose tonight to fix prologue if able. Week brings school and work therefore my write time dwindles. :frowning: I used Eragon as a example not due to it being all-inclusive to fantasy, but more alond the line that its where I started. Much of this well be rewritten and reworded so of you have a better suggestion for that section please feel free to share. I’m very open,minded and love feedback. I really want to make this game great and readers opinions are vitald

1 Like

Bully error is now fixed there was a issue with pronoun code.

2 Likes

Very interesting start, I’m looking forward to the next chapter. :clown_face:

Oh, and I found one tiny mistake.
29%20PM
I think you meant a thin layer of ice.

Instead of naming a specific series, you could just describe the book in a manner that shows it’s a fantasy book: maybe it has a dragon emblazoned on the cover.

1 Like

I think this is the wrong link.

1 Like

I uploaded wrong stuff, its fixed now.

  • Original Prologue
  • Unfinished Rewrite Prologue

0 voters

Updated

I’m working on a rewrite as I feel this one is better. Please tell me which is preferred as of now. I’m still tweaking, but trying to garner some direction.