Aequitas: The Offset [WIP]

You will definitely get choices like that in the game! Grumpy character that wants to push down their heroic instincts is one of my favorite tropes!

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Nightwing also happens to be the new leader in the DC comics now these days that the OG Justice League is dead.

Personally I don’t think the MC needs any power, they just have to be willing to be brutal as Batman and Nightwing can be.

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MC is heavily based off of Nightwing specifically (as shown by one of the name options being “Richard Grayson”)! They are definitely around his and Batman’s level skill wise. It’s a big part of why they were made leader of the team in the first place.

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I’m very glad I read through the thread first because this has gotten me invested again and want to actually try the demo. Usually I dont like stories that give the MC no powers while everyone around them have incredible power but seeing as you seem to be going full Nightwing/Titans inspired I can get behind it since I love Grayson as a character

I’m so glad you are willing to give it a try! I’m also not a huge fan of the “super weak MC but powerful other characters” trope so I try to create a healthy balance between the MC lacking abilities/powers but still being an incredible and powerful hero as well as an important asset to the team.

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Not gonna lie, I was very tempted to pick that one.

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This might be a nitpick, but I think there are too many stats in the skill section. Perhaps you could merge: strength and combat, stealth and agility, and tech and weaponry. Apart from that I love the premise.

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I’m actually planning on removing the weaponry stat! The other stats are going to come into play in later chapters though (different combinations will get different battles/scenes) so I’m planning on keeping most of them for now.

I’m glad you like the premise though!

Can we have some vigilante name options too? I’m always drawing a blank (…wait, next time I’ll just use “Blank”.)

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Really enjoyed the concept and premise, gonna watch your progress with interest.

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Found an error btw

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Has potential, I like the fact that there aren’t too many choices so it doesn’t feel like a stat heavy game and can feel more like a personal story that carries emotional weight but its currently too short, I finished the demo in 20 minutes.

I do think that there’s a lot of characters since you are mentoring 5 characters + 4 romance interests so thats a difficulty the Author will have to juggle.

Just focus on a nice story, good characters and put some backstory drama/trauma and you’re all good.

Overall keep up the good work, hope this WIP doesn’t die.

AHHH!! I’ve always liked IF’s where the MC can play somewhat of a mentor role-

Grammar/Code

Should be a space after the period!

It’s been years since you’ve even considered jumping back into the world of heroics. You have to take a moment to remind yourself that it’s not too late to make a difference, no matter how long it’s been since you last stepped into the fray.
_
It’s been years since you’ve felt this strong of an urge to step in. It’s like an instinctual reflex that has been dormant for years, only to be awoken in the moment of crisis.

The repetition at the start of these paragraphs reads a little strangely. Perhaps try combining them? The break there throws the pacing off.

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This shows up when you choose to be nonbinary and click the option “You should pay more attention.”
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This shows up when I try to go to the Skills part of the stat page.

I AM SO SO SO incredibly attached to our team already… the characters are just so charming djshfnidsukfhkjsdf! Really excited to get to know more about them (and about Vesper, what’s going on with them-) and to meet our previous teammates! Juniper seems to be a fan of Aequitas, but doesn’t recognize us in any capacity? Is it because of the excitement of the situation or did we have some form of supersuit that obscured our identity?

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I’m so glad that you enjoyed what I have so far! To answer your question, MC used to conceal their identity so that’s why Juni didn’t recognize them.

Also thanks for taking the time to point out those errors. It’s just me coding and writing so I sometimes overlook things. It means a lot when readers help out!

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Thanks for pointing that out!

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I’m glad that you are enjoying what I have so far! I’m not planning on abandoning it anytime soon and longer updates will be coming out sometime in the the near future.

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