Adrift (WIP)


#1

Right now it’s a bit of a laid back mermaid/man romance, with 4 romanceable characters, 2 males and 2 females that can be romanced by either gender, plus a hidden (human male) character that you can find. Though… I am thinking of adding one or two others beyond the 4 plus 1 hidden…

The hidden character is especially easy to find depending on if you choose the correct options, however doing so may have bad outcomes. I wanted to get him introduced the earlier the better so that way there is actually a chance to get to know him and do things with him before the year is up.

The story is pretty much about trying to find a mate within a month, as well as figuring out the reason you’re so different from the rest of the merfolk. So far I’ve got to the point where you’ve met everyone, so plot MIGHT change just a bit.

I know that isn’t a lot to go on but I’m still fleshing it all out… this is more of a test project, trying to get myself into making stories with actually impactful stories, and getting over the idea that it’s going to be too much work for me.

One last thing, that I thought I’d ask your opinion about, are you comfortable with references to mpreg? Or is that a bit too squicky? I have no intention of actually allowing your male character get that far, but it resolves some issues with biological imperitives v. mating with whomever. Generally I wouldn’t ask about how to write my story, but certain things tend to freak others out pretty badly, and technically I don’t NEED to put this in… so yeah.

Coding’s been a bit difficult for this, at least keeping track because many options may allow you to meet other characters early or even miss all of them and it’s a bit of a mess to keep everything where it’s supposed to be, so if you choose one option and you end up with something obviously and completely wrong let me know, yeah?

It’s only about 5000 words all together so far.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/186668070/Adrift/web/mygame/index.html


#2

Cool game love it


#3

Hey this is really great! Grabs the attention and makes you want to know what is going on! Keep up the good work, would love to see where this goes!

Also I think they’re are a few bad sentances when it is asking for your gender/name and when you visit the island. Sorry for not being more specific/helpful…


#4

I am so excited to see a mermaid story! (I’m working on one of my own, but that’s a project with a friend in Ren’py not choicescript and it’s currently stalled. Ha! I have so many projects.)

I enjoyed what I played of the story and am looking forward to seeing more. It’s a good start.

I have a great personal loathing of the whole male pregnancy thing. But then I also dislike stories with female pregnancy in them too which go into any sort of detail about it. For me, male pregnancy though hits a level of body-horror akin to that scene in aliens with the chestburster. There was a twine mermaid story which had a story about a mermaid and laying eggs which just really horrified me. So I do have equal-gender freak outs.

Personally I prefer different routes. It depends on how your mer people are born. There’s always adoption as an option. There’s also the notion of a magical egg, where two mates that love each other very much can infuse their essence into it and a baby shall be born. Or surrogacy. Or just the mermaids leave eggs like fish everywhere, and if you want a baby just fertilise some eggs and bring them home. Lots of ways.


#5

@Antitorpiliko- I have to admit, I’m not particularly sure what you mean. As in, issues with coding or choice of words?

@FairyGodfeather- Well, even though I mentioned it in my first post, I really have no intention to taking it further than a quick reference. The story probably isn’t going to last long enough that it would even result in it, female or male :stuck_out_tongue:


#6

@Babisko I’d still just prefer it not referred to at all. I found it weird enough in Choice of Romance to be honest.


#7

@FairyGodfeather- I caught that too, but I wasn’t sure quite what they were getting at. I ended up assuming that the child was just ‘created’ since they never even mentioned pregnancy and whatnot. Of course, I might have actually been paying close enough attention…


#8

@Babisko “One last thing, that I thought I’d ask your opinion about, are you comfortable with references to mpreg?”

What? How? I don’t even… What?


#9

@Babisko Yeah I assumed it was just somehow magically created and any attempt to understand the specifics of it the whole idea just unravelled. I can see why they did it, but it didn’t hold up to any sort of close inspection.

That’s one of my issues with mpreg. I think if you’re going to go that way then why do they even distinguish between male and female? Do females get pregnant too or is it a seahorse scenario? Is gender purely culture based and each mer has biological aspects of both genders? Are they like some species of fish who can actually change gender?


#10

@Drazen Like seahorses!


#11

@FairyGodfeather- I sort of think of them as genderless save for external characteristics. Considering it’s a different species they wouldn’t really have to follow human biological norms.

I’ve thought about it though, and I realized people might not even notice if I didn’t mention at all, despite the need for mating in the first place to produce the next generation.


#12

Modernity.


#13

@Babisko Why would they even bother dividing themselves into ‘male’ and ‘female’. How would you tell the difference? Are the young suckled like mammals or raised like fish? Are they born as eggs, or is it live births?

Why do the Mer have to choose a mate so soon after they come of age? Do they only have one mating cycle? Is their gender a social construct then, with them being able to choose as they please? And how do you differentiate between the genders if that’s the case?


#14

@FairyGodfeather- I suppose the division would come with the external characteristics as I do see them with a human top half. Think of it sort of like how in real life there isn’t just two genders, despite it being the norm. I mean, there are people that are born with female genitalia but their DNA denotes them as male. Of course, these people are sterile, but I suppose when you’re writing about another species you’re allowed to take a few liberties.

It’s more based on the ‘need’ to have a mate so soon after maturity more due as a need to survive the species. I know I hinted in the story about the previous lack of merfolk and how they were being killed off quickly to the point of extinction, though I might need to put it in a few more places so it doesn’t get missed… And if you talked to Lorelei she mentioned ‘traditions’, so there’s that too.

I don’t know, I just figured if that was considered an option it would do away with the gender issue, at least then it wouldn’t really be so odd that they would allow you to choose a male mate if you were a mate yourself, due to the lack of reproductive abilities.

Other than that, it’s sort of ‘up to you’ about how everything works, like how the children are raised or how they’re born, considering I have no intention of writing that far in the relationship. The story more focuses on developing the relationship as well as personal issues.


#15

Okay! Surely protecting the existing offspring is as important as reproduction then. And if you’re not actually carrying a baby, you can still work to defend those who are, and then look after the offspring.

But I’m just musing on ideas. You go with your ideas, just think them through and make them make sense and they’ll be good.


#16

I like mermaid stories and romance, so the concept is intriguing, but I’m kind of on the anti-mpreg boat too. To each their own and everything, but it’s not something you usually see unless the mpreg itself is the focus of the story. And for good reason, I think. It squicks out a lot of people, and doesn’t make much sense without outright ignoring the biological issues involved, loads of technobabble, or relying on A Wizard Did It. It’s hard to use it to explain away gender issues because in the end it only raises way more questions than it answers.

If the pressure to mate right after maturity is cultural, then maybe you could explain it as having started out for the purpose of raising their numbers due to their near-extinction, but eventually it wasn’t needed as much and just stayed as tradition? Traditions go through changes over time, and somewhere along the line someone could have decided to allow same-sex mates since the need for babies wasn’t as dire. It avoids any gender issues without really huge biological implications.

That’s just one idea though. I have no idea where you plan to go with the narrative, if the almost-extinction was more recent than I’m imagining, or anything. So you do whatever you wish with your story and don’t feel discouraged.


#17

Male pregnancy is a big “no” for me. That was my only issue with Choice of Romance.


#18

@Eriedanna- I’m probably going to go more along that line, that it changed but it’s still tradition, and therefore doesn’t matter if the mates are same-sex or not


#19

I’m kinda diggin’ this! I might recommend that once you reach the gathering place… maybe take a breather and do something less linear? Like do several options “Look at the punch table” “Check the stage” etc. (Not that those would be viable under the sea, but whatevs).

On the issue of mpreg, I’m usually against it, since it’s virtually impossible in the human body, but these are Mer-kin, so I might be interested in seeing it. Absolute honesty, merpeople are half fish, more importantly, their bottom half is fish. I would’ve thought that they reproduce the fishy way, but hey, it’s fiction.


#20

Looks real promising. It’s pretty cool to finally see a mermaid/man story, I don’t think anyone has every made a cog of that before. Anyways, regarding the “mpreg” thing I’d prefer if you wouldn’t put that in your game, for me it’s quite disturbing. But whatever floats your boat it’s your game anyways :slight_smile: