A Certain Potential (WIP) (Mini Update 01/03/2017)

I rather like the near-Anime style, however I have to comment on something that caught my attention rather quickly. It seems that the perspectives get swapped just slightly, I’m getting that you are going for Second Person narration (using ‘you’ / ‘yours’ / et cetera) however in the characterization - when you describe the MC’s ‘auburn hair’ it uses a brief slip into First Person (‘my’). I thought I saw another slip up but I’m looking for it. [This works for female only, it’s when describing the hair length]

Also, I already know this question is probably going to pop up at some point, but will there be a non-binary option?

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@ParrotWatcher Yeah, it’s kinda strange. I’ll take a jab at making some new names. But believe me, names are not easy. But I will add more names to choose from though.

@Drunarylda
Thanks. I actually get confused writing sometimes. This is the first time I’ve written in second-person after all.
And a non-binary option was something I’ve been looking at from the beginning, but haven’t the slightest on how to implement yet.

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I know; I basically asked my players for suggestions when I put names into my WIP.

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I like what I’ve played so far but I find it a bit disheartening whenever you use “(insert X here)” instead of something a bit more meaningful. I can understand why you would do it (it can be hard coming up with a good joke or name) but the truth is it also makes you look lazy, not to mention it kinda breaks the immersion.

Just 2 cents.

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Sorry! I’ll try to do it less in the future. I was a bit rushed in writing and couldn’t find names to write. It’ll be fixed in the next update. And yes, it’s sloppy, that’s just bad writing on my part.

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@Xionide No problem, that’s understandable as it’s not common in writing for much with the exception being Choice script and maybe some play writing! And if you are thinking of adding non-binary, I would suggest some of the topic forums on the subject or simply ask.

Here are some I found in the forums.
A
B

And then I found some other interesting things that might help through various sites. Here are some photos.



I hope they prove to be helpful.

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@Drunarylda Thanks for the resources! I’ll keep them in mind!

This is good. I like the fact that the school atmosphere feels like a Japanese school. Also you did quite well since there weren’t much typos and the grammar was good. Keep it up! :slight_smile:

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This was interesting and I’m curious to see where it goes. It was pretty well written, too.

I did notice a couple issues, though.

It switches back and forth from present tense to past tense very frequently (sometimes within the same sentence).

I’m not sure if no more mention of the man standing next to the girl was intentional or not, but it reads like an oversight.

And there were several places where POV was randomly switched.

Those were the times I spotted it.

And I think the sentence below is missing a word😄 “You that you have a…”

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Yup. Fixed those POV problems. I found some tense problems, but not all of them. I’m in the process of writing in the forgotten man. XD That was my bad. And that last sentence was a typo. Thanks for the help~

Also planning on pushing a mini-update soon that fixes the problems you guys found.

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I’m always ready for some supernatural powers and shady organizations. I’ve been wanting to post something for days but I kept posponing it, but not anymore.
So, there are some things that bugged me. What’s up with the predetermined hair, stature and color eyes? We usually can choose that. Oh, and the reactions the MC has to the “magic battle” are, also, predetermined: we freak out. But what if the MC believes in it?
On the good side, the story, as short as it might be, is quite good. It has an anime vibe that I just love. The characters interactions were great! And I’m so psyched about having a twin sister! I have one in real life so it really helps to inmerse myself in your world, you know? I also have a younger sister so you kinda missed there :smile_cat: Jokes aside, both the sibling genders are locked?

P.S: I think there might be a bug? When choosing how to react to Elizabeth’s healing I can only get the shy option. Anything else gives a blank space. Also, there wasn’t enough sarcasm :scream_cat:

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I pick Allen from your list of choices and then later get repeatedly referred to as unknown, hmm…maybe that should be my mc’s alias? :thinking:

Maybe it’s because we need to look similar to the siblings, although some coding could fix that too, so if choose for my mc to be tall and Asian the siblings will be too.

Agreed on both counts, though my mc will probably pick the angry option as he doesn’t like to get kissed by strange girls for no reason at all, fortunately at least it wasn’t on the mouth.

Lastly considering our mc’s apparent living situation that supernatural organisation had better pay a good wage (really, substantially better than that diner, considering the much greater risks and level of commitment involved), as my mc certainly cannot afford to risk his neck or take time off from the school he needs to succeed later in life, or the job he apparently needs to keep a roof over his and family’s heads right now in order to be(come) some sort of “hero”.

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@Baam
Okay, I should really consider that choice. Never thought of it, actually.
I believe that those two should be gender locked. It’s more true to the story that I first thought of.
And sarcasm?

@idonotlikeusernames
I believe that you’re referred to as unknown because of a nickname variable that I haven’t properly used yet. Sorry!

And for both of you, the reaction I haven’t written yet. There’s an author’s note saying that I haven’t done it yet, but I’ll get to it soon.
Player customization has been on my mind since someone already mentioned it. Just trying to figure out whether or not I can or not without completely messing up the story.

I hope the organization meets your daily needs. :wink:

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I do too, way my mc sees it if these people want him to devote any quality time to their “training” they really ought to make it worth his while. Furthermore between school, taking care of his family and working that job at the diner what scant free time he has he uses for acting, which judging by the prologue he must be quite good at. So since he obviously doesn’t want to give up school and his future prospects and would hate to have to give up his only hobby the only way they can get into his schedule would be if they made his need to hold down that diner job disappear. If they just expect him to begin cutting some classes and give up his only extracurricular/hobby they will get a very resistant and uncooperative mc.

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Yeah that’s kinda what I was thinking. Or let us describe the sister and then use that description for when the MC looks in the mirror.

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It’s almost time for another mini update. Maybe later in the week or next week, if I have enough time.
This update should include the non-binary option and appearance customization. I’ve also edited the startup choice for chapter 2, but I may replace that with just a soft save-load system. Though, I’m not updating the chapter 2 file.

Some things I still need to do is fix some conversations, fix all the stat stuff, and then I can move onto chapter 2.

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Boop.
Mini-update is out.

Also, someone should tell me if booping like this is allowed, cause it feels kinda spam-y.

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Alright, now we are talking with the customisation. What about those eyes though? Something related to the plot? Still, I’m very happy you added some options. And the reactions to Elizabeth. Well done.

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Booping is allowed, but bumping isn’t.
I don’t know why you have to use the term booping, tho.

Hello, I found an error, and I wanted to let you know. Where it says: “Where are going? …” It should be Where are you going?

“Where are going? You’ve yet to receive punishment.” The witch looks down on the two of you from a roof."

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