lovin’ what’s up so far !
especially with the MC being kinda like morally ambiguous, absolutely love it.
Find a shiney thing on the ground ? eh it’s mine now/not my problem.
I love the Demeter vibe but i’ve always been a Hypnos kid, which sent me into a good minute of just laughing at trying to figure out how a child of Hypnos would get out of a tree, but then i realised we probably just wouldn’t take part in the activity in the first place. I adore stories that give me room to think up possibilities and the such like this
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I absolutely love Greek mythology inspired stories, the fact that I get to play as a sarcastic lover of juicy gossips daughter of Aphrodite and romance brooding son of Hades just adds to my overall excitement for this WiP! 
Of course I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t mention that the unique eye color for children of Aphrodite (light purple with flecks of gold and pink) is just perfect.
I want to read mooore! 
My code: 4434451123ADM
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Oh I love this! Can’t wait to read more.
- Code: 2442212423HBA.
- Final stats screen: https://ibb.co/vPxgmnJ
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This game may be a bit too modern for that to fly. 
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Oh I forgot that either way I am just waiting to play more of this game
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Here’s my code: 3434441222ADM 
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Really solid so far and I’m so looking forward to read/play the rest of it!
I love being Athena’s daughter 
I really like the long list of customisation options to pick too.
Some thoughts below!
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I read a previous reply mentioning you wanted us to go in more blind upon the first interactions with the ROs, but it might be a bit too blind for me?
I found it hard and strange to form an opinion on M in the beginning when all we had to go off of them was this one sentence:
I found myself referring to the RO description you provided in this forum to go off of. Cheating – I guess? – but I felt like I needed it (not all, but some).
If it helps any, I chose not to interact with either M or A at the dinner scene in my first playthrough because:
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I wasn’t sure of their relationship to my MC, so I didn’t want to just approach them out of the blue. I also didn’t want to boost a relationship stat until I gained more information and formed a better opinion on them. Contrasted to C, whom we are told we have a connection and history with (Hermes left them with us at 12/13 years old), we had something to go off of.
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M was glaring and it seemed like I’d piss them off further by interacting with them. (We’re supposed to look past the death glares? Yeah, probably, but I don’t feel we’re at this stage yet)
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A was surrounded by people and bombarded with questions. They looked uncomfortable and I felt going over there to join in would have added onto that. So, I didn’t want to do that.
I get how this would work with game mechanics to raise relationship stats, but it doesn’t feel as natural, especially for MCs who aren’t as bold or super social? Unless this type of interaction is common at MOA because:
I do see the merit in not having strong preconceived thoughts about the ROs before meeting them, but I think this is a little tricky.
These are probably personal preferences, but when we lost the game in the beginning, I wish there was an option that was similar to “I don’t enjoy losing, but it happens/it’s inevitable/it is what it is”. The option “I don’t enjoy losing, but in games like these, I just kinda do what I’m told…” sounds like a pretty big ‘Follower’ stat and someone a little irresponsible or likes to play the blame game. “I’m honestly fine with it; I don’t get super competitive” doesn’t quite hit the mark.
Or I might just be fine if the following highlighted phrase that came after selecting the “I don’t enjoy losing…” option didn’t contrast with that exact statement? Or maybe I’m just reading too hard into it.
I also would’ve liked to pick an option saying we weren’t sure about life after MOA yet, since the option “I don’t think much about life after MOA” implies we like to live in the present and prefer not to think of the future yet. Also, as a reader, I’m not sure what life after MOA is supposed to be like? Do we integrate into human society and work normal day jobs or…?
I did try the other 2 options afterwards and find it a bit odd to have some of the information revealed after selecting the option?
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The structure of this post is all over the place, but I hope it makes sense. I hope it doesn’t sound negative either!
Code: 2442214143D
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Thank you so much for the comment!
Their stat doesn’t automatically get boosted if you go to them; but would it help if before the interaction I mentioned that the three of you are classmates? That gives you an excuse to talk to either of them, if only to ask about the homework or something.
I… really don’t know how I feel about my current stats, but adding an option like that can be done easily. I wanted to make the stat boosting choices obvious, but I sometimes think they might be too stereotypical.
Yes, thank you! I didn’t even realise that the reader doesn’t know what’s going on because they can’t read my mind. Yes, I’ll add more information about the options before the choice.
Everything you said was super helpful, and I really appreciate it.
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I think this would absolutely help. I’d definitely feel better about approaching them then.
To clarify this:
I meant this particular scene didn’t feel as “natural” due to the uncertainty of MC’s relationship with M and A. (Sorry about that!) This would get rectified due to the above mentioning of classmates. It’s very common for relationship stats to be increased through interactions like this, so I don’t think it’s too stereotypical. It makes sense! I think a lot of readers would otherwise be like 
trying to figure out how to do so haha.
If you’re actually referring to personality/skill stats, I still think it makes sense the way you currently have it and I don’t personally mind it much.
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As a Percy Jackson fan and an absolute sucker for anything Greek Mythology, I am so on board with this! Although it was short, I had fun playing the demo. You’re honestly a very talented writer. The dialogues and characterizations are great so far. Excited for this!
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I was wondering if our mc and ro can get pets which are sacred to there parents and also if each children of the gods that are listed can have a flash back of their parents telling them about the time that there were born and something terrible or amazing happened like a volcano, rainbows or even a new constellation
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Quick progress update:
- I’m almost completely done with the rough draft of chapter two. I just have one small scene left, and then to edit and revise, because there are a lot of parts that I’m probably going to end up moving around and maybe making easier, just from a coding perspective.
- I’ve been fiddling around with redoing some of the stats, but nothing concrete there, yet. I just don’t know how much the current system works, to be honest.
- I think that I should be able to edit and revise and fix up chapter two enough for a publication soon. My official dates are Feb 1st on here, and Jan 26th on Patreon.
- While I did fix up some things in chapter one, the update should not mess with your saves, I don’t think.
- I’m honestly not sure whether or not I want to rewrite the final version in second person. I’ve been playing around with it a little, and although I was afraid of writing in a different POV at first, I started rewriting scenes from the first chapter in second person, and I don’t find the task as complicated as I once did. Personally, I enjoy reading both the same, but I just wanted to include a poll, especially since once I start chapter three, I probably won’t change my mind.
And that’s all, have a great day everyone!
Preferred POV?
- First Person
- Second Person
0 voters
What Second POV Sounds Like
You dart through the undergrowth, your feet soft on the ground in front of you. Ducking behind a tree as you hear an enemy group approach, you try to still your light breathing.
You’re surrounded by forest, the trees looming high above you and blocking out the sun. As far as you can tell you have a few options right now. You could use your knowledge of the enemy to get closer, although that would be going against the carefully selected plan your team had formulated.
You could also try attacking directly, slicing through enemy lines with either brute force or impeccable charisma, maybe even convincing the opposition that you are not a threat, or a greater threat than they once believed.
Of course, the obvious answer is to follow the plan; find and disarm any traps the opposing team has set, thus clearing a path for Mor, your team leader, to swoop in and secure the win.
The goal of the game? Retrieve the opposing team’s gauntlet without getting physically injured. Just like capture the flag, except slightly deadlier. Winning team gets an extra point added to their battle tactics grade.
Responses
@choiceofkylen Thank you!
@Elemental Pets are not something that is going to happen within the scope of the book, but you will be able to communicate with animals that are sacred to your godly parent. Furthermore, your birth will get explored more later, so I don’t wanna talk too much about that.
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Personally, I don’t mind either first or second person. The only time when I would mind either of those things is if the author decides to dictate what I’m feeling or thinking that doesn’t match with what I’m feeling as the reader.
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Like it was stated in the comment before mine. I don’t mind either way but first person does tent to disrupt my immersion sometimes.
Also you have to be sure how you want to give the infos for the story. Because a first person perspective is highly unreliable and could potentially make it harder to write for different mc archetypes ?
But I will read and love your story eather way in the end it is more important, that you as author are comfortable with using the pov!
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Alright now I am fired up for that new chapter, I have waited this long I don’t have a problem waiting a little longer
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Why not switch based on the scene requirements that is what I do. For example when I am writing an action scene I usually do second person. So as to give a more complete picture of the actual battle. Though that is only for the smaller ones. The big fight scenes I tend to do first person because the actual scene would just drag on and on. That is just my opinion anyways.
P.S. The only reason I do such a thing in my books is because some of the scenes take place in the past and most in the present. For example “One of my friends and I, are hiding in the basement of a three story building. I slowly peek my head up and over the tiny window frame. Only to watch as my family is…” that is a scene from the past so it has already taken place and is only focused on what happened to the MC and not what everyone else saw. It is strictly their point of view.
Now if it were a scene where their are multiple people all doing something different at the same time it would be “As you and your friends slowly reveal yourselves to your foes. You can feel an overwhelming sense of primordial fear. As if they know what is to come.” The main difference between being the number of people and what is meant to be portrayed in this scene.
Anyway that is just how I do things. It may get rather confusing at times but in the end it works out fine if you can do it well enough. And only your readers can tell you that. So that is just my opinion sense I have always read books that either give the reader mostly the MC’s point of view and a few snippets of a third person view, or mostly third person view and a few snippets of how the MC sees things.
Again this is just my opinion, and I would like you to decide for yourself with the opinion of your readers taken into account. Basically I do not care which path you take as long as you are happy with the end result it is good enough for me.
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2nd POV all the baby
I find the use of 2nd POV to be more comfortable in reading (and writing). I like being able to relate and follow along with the character and story in an in-depth way but despite this I just find 1st POV to be kind of uncomfortable to read? Take it like this;
1st POV is good for immersion, but the writer has more pressure to not alienate their reader with their writing, you don’t want to use language that a reader wouldn’t imagine their MC to be using.
Also with 2nd POV I like the idea of some asshole also following me around in my adventures silently being like why did they do that?!
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Personnally I prefer the 3rd POV 
But seeing it’s 55%/45% I think it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t rewrite the chapter.
Dear author do as you feel it but obviously your readers don’t ask for it. We’ld gladly accept what we can have.
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I feel like a big dumb. Mistook 2nd pov for 3rd pov.
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First, do you mean Nirvana, as in the ones who sing, songs like man who sold the world? If so, I don’t think that’s actually metal?
True. When I think of dark, I think Of goth type stuff, but I think of metalhead, I think of emo type stuff? I’m not exactly sure what to think of when I think of metalhead, lots and lots of heavy metal band posters maybe?
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