(WIP) Vengeance | Powers, Romance, Thriller (CHAPTER 2, PART 1 RELEASED)

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Vengeance is a game where you find out you have powers.

After living under the shadows of your twin. You find out your family been hiding something. Their jobs aren’t even real, so is their hair color.

They are spies that are with an evil organization named AV trying to mess up a good plan that may help the world a lot. The reason they’ve been hiding you…is because your the most powerful. The entire plan is in your hands.

Are the people you’re living with even your parents? What is your power?

The main question, will you become a hero or villain?

  • Play Male, Female or Non-Binary.
  • Have 5 romance options. (Gender-selectable)
  • Have 3 different endings.
  • Find out your twin’s secret.
RO's

Dylan/Diana, they’re just like you, having no job. They’re your best friend, been with you since childhood. You won’t let anything hurt them.

Rene/Rue, they are fun and playful. Leader of the Ombres, could they be more to you?
They have the power of Telekinesis.

Peyton/Paige, cold and quiet. Sad past but hopefully bright future. They have the power to turn into any animal.

  1. Not introduced yet

  2. Not introduced yet.

Family members.

Father, is he even your father?

Mother, is she even you mother?

Your twin, they’ve always been in the spotlight, not anymore.

Secrets...?

Your power is (Essokinesis)

modern-fantasy super-powers slice-of-life romance

Demo: https://dashingdon.com/play/sarah-k/my-vengeance/mygame/
Word Count: 5K

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I’ll give it a try later today (after I’ve finished snickering at the name of the organization, and after I’ve managed to make some tea)

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Like what I have read so far, but had two errors, one was using a flirt option when meeting Diana,the other by the ambulance.

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Pretty interesting, but there are some errors I encountered.

First one when choosing both of the heart marked options when you meet D (c1 line 553: invalid indent, expected at least one line in ‘if’ true block).
The second one is after you hear the voice and wake up (non-existent variable “parents”). This one prevents you from progressing the story.

Noticed some text mistakes as well

Like using ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’.

“You take a glance at Dylan who’s still on her phone”, when I chose them to be female.

Some polishing is needed, but the premise is very intriguing!

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YESSSSS LET’S GOOOO

didn’t get a chance to play it yet, but saves need to be fixed :pensive:

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:grin:

Those should be fixed!

:laughing:

I’ll work on that!

Thank you everyone for the feedback so far!

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@love4tae Found this:

choicescript_stats line 22: Non-existent variable ‘health_text’

c1 line 1056: increasing indent not allowed, expected 6 was 8

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fixed, tysm! :grin:

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im still getting the ‘health_text’ error.

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Hahah, get lost twin, I’m in charge now. I’m not going to be the nice sibling.

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•Play as a Male, Female or Non-Binary •Choose your superpower. •Customize your appearance. •Have 4 romance choices, (gender-selectable) •Have relationships with your family and friends. •Become a villain or hero.

can you please put these on separate lines :confounded:, like;

the image isn’t loading in-game

(Gun Icon - Free PNG & SVG 36062 - Noun Project) was used, nothing was changed.

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Should be fixed!

Get ready for the next chapter then!

Done!

It was used as the title image, basically a part of the cover! :grin:

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Ohh, power fantasy and I can play as the villain, you caught my attention already. The demo is good so far, that voice is very desperate tho.

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found a coding problem, at the end of demo

*link https://dashingdon.com/play/sarah-k/pushed-1/mygame/

should just show the link

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saving this so i can read it later🖤 but it sounds so cool so far :')

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This was pretty interesting! So far I found the interactions between the MC and their family the most interesting, especially since the range of options allows for such different outcomes – in my first playthrough, I felt sorry for the sibling despite their attitude because the parents apparently favored the MC over them, while in the next playthrough when the parents didn’t care, it was funny to see those same scenes through a different lens, where the sibling often spoke coldly like the parents but helped the MC anyway (like giving them and their friend a ride).

Typos

Looking in the Camera app, your face looks drained.
On this page, the next page, and then after the shower, the MC looks at their reflection, making the second and third look seem forced just so the character customization choices can show up (and perhaps even making the MC appear as narcissistic). You may want to combine the three actions so there’s a better flow to the narrative.

Your Long hair was the color…
Perhaps check the use of tenses throughout the narrative – sometimes it’s using past tense, like here, while usually the story is in the present tense.

Making sure your, Long Blond hair was dry.
Also, be on the look out for overuse of commas – in this sentence, for instance, there shouldn’t be a comma after “your”.

Would care less about you leaving, your relationship is dirt.
“Would” should be “Wouldn’t”, otherwise it’s suggesting they do have some care.

Is that your name?
After inputting the MC’s name, this page appears without the name for us to check over. The same thing happens for the twin’s name.

You sigh and run upstairs back upstairs.
Remove the first “upstairs”.

“D’s house, chop chop!” you smile bashfully.
If you choose the “you want me to leave” option, it’s a bit of a whiplash that MC goes from being on the verge of tears/the sibling being a jerk to the MC asking for a ride so quickly as though the previous interaction didn’t happen.

You feel groggily.
“groggily” should be “groggy”.

You wake up, Diana is watching you as paramedics load you onto the ambulance.
I had Dylan as the best friend, but it showed this when the MC wakes up.

Getting interviewed by some unknown figure.
You may want to look over for sentence fragments, like here – who is the person getting interviewed?

Stoic: 55% : 45%
On the stats page, stoic’s opposed stat doesn’t appear.

Looking forward to learning more about the MC’s powers! :smiling_face:

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Good story but I don’t know what that power is. Can someone explain it please

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Essokinesis? It’s the ability to control reality

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Essokinesis: aka. Reality Warping

Reality warping is hard to define due to different interpretations by different people for this we will consider reality as everything that is real for the world where the MC is located. From matter and energy to the laws of nature (electromagnetism, gravity, space-time, etc.) to even abstract ideas such as emotions and logic, they can all be considered real and a part of reality. Reality warping is the ability to change, create, or even destroy parts of or the entirety of reality.

Depending on the setting this power functions differently, but in general it works on the principle that the user rearranges the very structure of reality to suit their desire. Users can easily change reality to achieve a variety of different results such as turning the sky to ice cream or turn the universe to a pancake. At it’s most powerful users can literally do anything no matter how impossible it seems. Due to the endless possibilities and limitless potential it gives the user it is one of the most powerful superpowers.

Reality Warping is a general term for characters to manipulate reality; they can utilize anything from matter and energy due to their interconnectivity with the layers of reality, potent cosmos, psychic powers, space-time continuum, overwhelming emotions, dreams, imagination, and fundamental forces. The main limitations of reality warping are an advanced variation of the superpower or understanding the sophistication of reality itself; everything requires understanding to be used effectively.

At basic or advanced levels, the user can manifest their imagination (beings or objects) into reality, generating corporeal forms of their role models, superpowers, families, pets, to fantasy, bend reality to cause only beneficial events to happen only to the user, denying the laws of physics, or re-editing their current condition to achieve godhood. At master or ultimate scale, the user overrides anything tangible on a large scale, shaping massive quantities of planets, stars, or galaxies into any form the user desires, manipulating the laws of physics that they can only benefit from or make beings suffer from their renewed laws, or warping the universe akin to photo editing. Due to reality warping’s potential, the user can manipulate the universe, multiverse, omniverse, possible totality, and even anything that doesn’t possess a tangible form or is nonexistent.

But then again it depends how far the author is gonna scale the MC up on the reality ranking list. So yeah…

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Some of the most powerful beings in fiction i.e. comics are reality warpers to some degree the famous No More Mutants panel from Scarlet Witch comes to mind. Def gonna have some fun with this if the author scales the mc to that level of power lol

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