Hey i found this in the registration hall
1 Like
I’m having a lot of fun playing your game so far!
A constructive criticism I’ve noticed is that it’s a little wordy at times. There are often paragraphs (sometimes pages) reiterating things you’ve previously written or that don’t need to be explained in such detail (at least, not yet.) To the point I found myself skipping through all of the breath training section with Reiren because it repeated the same stuff over and over. It felt like the intention there was to show a detailed process for the MC’s learning so that it wasn’t instant, but currently it just doesn’t flow well.
Then immediately after the training you have the tour with four different screens of questions ending with three more pages of options to explain the martial paths, it unfortunately started to feel like a slog to read through. I know I could skip the question sections, but that’s just not how I play- I want to ask everything in case it unlocks something in the future, so each replay I’m clicking through a tiring amount of options.
Overall though the game is good, the plot indulgent fun, and I’m looking forward to its future!
Yeah, I totally understand what you mean about the breath training and tour part; it gets a bit too wordy. I wanted to show the process and build the world slowly.
I’ve been planning to break the martial path tour into smaller parts instead of doing it all at once. I’ll likely make each of the five martial paths into their own choice, so you can explore them at your own pace. I’ll be slowly rewriting and adjusting those scenes over time to make the flow better and less overwhelming.
As I mentioned above, the cultivation method in the story is heavily inspired by Tai Chi and similar breathing techniques mixed with the idea of Total Concentration Breathing from Demon Slayer. I really wanted it to feel physical and meditative at the same time, but after the training/prologue, you don’t have to hear a lot of that stuff since the MC can naturally control their ki in that near future.
Also, the prologue is actually quite close to ending now. After this, things will pick up more and hopefully become more exciting to play. as this early part was mainly for world-building and setting the base for the story.
Thank you so much for playing, and also big thanks for the honest feedback it really helps alot! I hope you’ll enjoy what’s coming next.
Hey i found this in the registration hall
Thank you for pointing it out and i’ve already fixed the issue and will update the patch shorty
a heads-up i included some additional new scene from this patch that include (Eden perspective right after the servant perspective and before the Shimahiro incident, and i add the Great-library in the Tour with Regoku) now its with a total of 90k+ words
Hope you enjoy
10 Likes
Others have spoken about the grammatical errors, but I’m not sure anyone has mentioned that you’re mixing tenses quite often, or sometimes using them incorrectly (e.g. the word “had”).
Also, most of these errors are relegated to the prologue, and crop up a lot less later on. In fact the change in the style of writing and the use of new punctuation are quite noticeable. I don’t know how else to say this, but the style is quite consistent with the way ChatGPT writes - it could totally be a coincidence, but the repetition/ “summary” style writing, constant parallels and comparisons, use of long em dashes and semi colons etc. are usually associated with it.
5 Likes
Others have spoken about the grammatical errors, but I’m not sure anyone has mentioned that you’re mixing tenses quite often, or sometimes using them incorrectly (e.g. the word “had”).
Also, most of these errors are relegated to the prologue, and crop up a lot less later on. In fact the change in the style of writing and the use of new punctuation are quite noticeable. I don’t know how else to say this, but the style is quite consistent with the way ChatGPT writes - it could totally be a coincidence, but the repetition/ “summary” style writing, constant parallels and comparisons, use of long em dashes and semi colons etc. are usually associated with it.
Yeah I know there are grammar mistakes and tense shifting especially in the earlier part. as English isn’t my first language and the first 20 to 40k words I actually wrote it in plain Notepad a few months ago, before I ever thought anyone will read it. Only recently I started using Word and other tools because some people suggest it, and it helped catch some stuff but I’m still cleaning slowly. Even replying now, I use tools like Google Docs to help me catch grammar mistakes where I can. But of course, it’s still not perfect.
I also know the writing style change a bit sometimes. It’s because I’ve been mixing old scenes I wrote months ago with new ideas that I add while working on the newer parts. So maybe the tone feels uneven in places. I kinda rewrite as I go depending on what fits better now. That’s why feedback like this really help me a lot.
And just so it’s clear, I don’t use A.I. or anything like that to write this story. I write everything myself, just doing brainstorming sometimes or rewriting lines when something clicks better. It’s all just me writing and editing, messy as it is.
Also I didn’t plan to use that kind of style at first, like the long sentences or using “—” in places, but I tried it later after seeing how it worked in stories like Poma and I thought it flowed better, so I kept doing it.
Thanks again for pointing this out, really. It helps me improve and I’m thankful for anyone who takes the time to tell me this stuff.
8 Likes
It’s nice u let us skip to chapter 1 play test it but the fight is literally unwinnable since all stats are 1. Maybe you should let us organize our stats first before cutting us loose
Encountering error when training with renren in the sect for the first time on my own when not moving and when she attacks me to simulate moving
I cannot embed the snipped image, so i copied the text
The spear veers away before your palm touches it. It breaks apart in surrender, not force. (I didn’t meet it with strength. I answered with intention.)
Two spears now—one left, one right.
Take one step left, then punch.
Exhale. Step once. Turn your waist. Ki fans outward in a wave from your chest.
Jump straight up and hope to land clean.
Let your body twist like a ribbon, Ki wrapping your movements."
anything other than “with one breath…” leads to the error startup line 9282: No selectable options
The choices right after this one is also like that with the 9282 error
Later, when choosing with which path to start, if I decide to hear about another path for the blade fist and arcana, i cannot choose and i get startup line 12933: No selectable options. Perhaps make a choice reselectable?
It’s nice u let us skip to chapter 1 play test it but the fight is literally unwinnable since all stats are 1. Maybe you should let us organize our stats first before cutting us loose
Ah, thank you so much for pointing it out!
The skip-to-Chapter-1 option wasn’t actually meant to be part of the playable build, as I originally added it for my own testing purposes and forgot to remove it. That’s why most stats are set to 1, except for others, as I was also testing how the other failed branches behave.
Also, the story is still technically in the prologue. I just labeled it “Chapter 1” as a bit of flavor, but we’re not in the first chapter of the story arc yet.
Originally I planned to put a skippable choice right after the end of the prologue for chapter 1, but your feedback made me realize it might actually be useful for players who’ve already gone through the intro. So I’ve decided to leave the skip option in and upgrade it a bit, and I’ll make sure the players can choose their stats before jumping ahead. It should help with replays too, especially since saves sometimes get wiped out when I patch minor issues.
And just to clarify. Most of the stat checks (even the dual ones) only require 1 stat for each to pass, so they’re not meant to force a perfect build.
I really appreciate you taking the time to point that out!
Encountering error when training with renren in the sect for the first time on my own when not moving and when she attacks me to simulate moving
I cannot embed the snipped image, so i copied the text
Later, when choosing with which path to start, if I decide to hear about another path for the blade fist and arcana, i cannot choose and i get startup line 12933: No selectable options. Perhaps make a choice reselectable?
Thank you for the feedback, I’ve fixed the issues with those scenes and rewrote parts of the code. and I tested it again on my end and it should work fine by now. Also i added a skippable choice to the mini-game section so it flows better if you want to move past it.
I Really appreciate you catching that!
2 Likes
Thanks. It makes sense now and for explaining for the stats work in the game. I’m glad it’s not stat heavy since that would ruin some playthroughs. Keeping it there is a great idea since saves will break with updates and let’s us test the new stuff. I will try that golem fight again instead of being paralyzed after checking my build.
1 Like
Hello everyone!
Just a quick note a new Patreon-exclusive update just dropped with 12k+ words of new scenes added.
feel free to check my patreon: Ledaibu | Creater of Transcended Awakening | Patreon
and ask me anything on Tumblr: @daibukunn on Tumblr
Thank you so much for the support, and I hope you enjoy the new content
11 Likes
Have you considered adding a visual cue to stat checks? (If they are failing or succeding) i think this could be a good idea for the future if the game feature many of those, also cool spar with reiren
1 Like
I love it, it’s clear it’s been written by a fan of the genre 
2 Likes
The premise is interesting but constant usage of
«Not this.
But that.»
or
«Not that.
Just this»
In your writing are incredibly hard to read and enjoy.
10 Likes
Sorry shiva in this world only I aura farm.
Author seems to be a big fan of Korean murim novels i think
1 Like
Hey everyone,
Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. It feels like my life decided to run through a bunch of canon events back-to-back, one thing after another with no breaks. Every time I thought I’d get back to writing, something else came up, and before I knew it, days turned into weeks which turned into a month. I just couldn’t focus on the game the way I wanted to.
But now things have finally calmed down. Everything’s in order again, and I’m back to working on the game. This time updates should be steady, and I’m hoping to make real progress without life throwing plot twists at me every other day.
As a small apology for the wait, I’m sharing a free sneak peek from the game. Hope you enjoy it, and thanks for being patient with me all this time.
Spoiler sneak peek
Context:
the first image, is the historical timeline of Tianzhu, its a bit more simple version and im still working on it
2nd image, is Eden beating the s**t out of mc
3rd image, Reiren leaves the mc behind with Eden as something more important comes up
4th image, The mc utilizing the arts of ignoring against some bullies
5th image, Suraka end-fight against the demon-spawn
9 Likes
Have you considered adding a visual cue to stat checks? (If they are failing or succeding) i think this could be a good idea for the future if the game feature many of those, also cool spar with reiren
Thank you very much for the feedback.
And yeah, since there will be a lot of hidden stat checks later on, I realized adding some visual cues could be really useful so players can have a better idea when they’re making stat-based choices without outright giving the answer away.
I’ll definitely keep this in mind for future updates.
The premise is interesting but constant usage of
«Not this.
But that.»
or
«Not that.
Just this»
In your writing are incredibly hard to read and enjoy.
Thanks for the honest feedback and I really appreciate it.
Since I’ve been rereading my own work a lot lately, that’s actually one of the things I noticed too, and I realized some parts have gotten a bit sloppy.
I’m already planning to rewrite quite a bit once I finish this current arc, so things should flow better later on.
as i’ve mentioned before this is my first time actually writing a game or a novel, so it’s been a big learning curve for me.
It’s always easier for me to imagine the scenes in my head than to put them into words, and on top of that, English isn’t my first language, so that makes it even harder sometimes.
There are a lot of words or sentence structures that I struggle to express exactly the way I want.
But as time goes on and I improve, my writing will improve with it.
So I’m really grateful for everyone who takes the time to give honest feedback from time to time.
Sorry shiva in this world only I aura farm.
Author seems to be a big fan of Korean murim novels i think
I love it, it’s clear it’s been written by a fan of the genre
ohh yeah i’m really a big fan many manhwa/manhua and mangas regarding isekai/huaxia/murim such as the "Fated villain, Martial Peak, heavenly demon reborn, etc,etc and you’ll will see a lot reference of them in this game
8 Likes
I found an error
I failed my first accept doing the training doing the wrong thing and I can’t try again
1 Like
I really liked this post
1 Like
Is poly available?
1 Like
I failed my first accept doing the training doing the wrong thing and I can’t try again
Thank you so much for spotting it, turns out i spelled the *goto command incorrectly resulting in an error, that would be fixed by now as i patch the public demo
Is poly available?
Everything is possible, so does consequences 
2 Likes
I guess was a good thing I messed up by accident since I forgot what I meant to do. I will probably need a new save but it’s worth it now its error free there
1 Like