Just read the demo and am really excited to read more! The edits you announced for chapter one sound really good as well.
It’s cool that a woman has more difficulties with handling the crew - I always enjoy it when the gender you pick can actually be felt in the story.
The characters are very promising and multifaceted. It’ll probably be quite difficult for me to settle for one RO, because I sense just so much potential for each route. Well, if it stays that way, I’ll just have to play multiple times, lol.
Keep up the good work! <3
Now to a few details:
suggestion on my part
I restarted the demo to do a few things differently and also have been codediving a little. First of all, I really like how different some things can go depending on your choice, but I think this could result in a little imbalance regarding the romances in some places: I’m romancing Gungir and missed quite some scenes with him while playing blindly.
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While it totally makes sense that there is a difference if you don’t go to the docks on your own, staying in her room just didn’t make sense for how I’m roleplaying my MC. So that’s the first scene I missed, although, again quite logical. But maybe you could add something like a romance choice, where the MC is basically thinking “what if I just waited for him to get me?” and feeling weirdly thrilled by the thought? That would be a nice alternative to being simply stubborn and trying to disobey.
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He can only end up sitting next to MC if I also romance Thyra. I would have liked if a similar scene were available for just romancing him. Although that, of course, is really just a small paragraph.
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A drunken MC gets quite some content romancewise, but due to the likely consequences, I wouldn’t have my MC get drunk (apart from the fact that I prefer my MCs sober in general). It would have been nice if there was at least some dialogue if you choose not to get wasted. Or maybe there’s a scene in the future, only available if you’re not hungover?
=> Just my two pennies, of course, but I just got the feeling that the missed scenes were kind of … accumulating? If you get what I mean? I simply would have liked for some alternative scenes if you go down other routes … I mean, I totally understand if you just feel that a scene wouldn’t fit in the alternative route and forcing something isn’t the right way to go of course, but I thought I’d point it out anyway.
I stumbled upon a few small mistakes:
mistakes
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Missing apostrophes, when it came to words like “won’t” or “her father’s”, which were instead being written as “wont” or “fathers”
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spelling / grammar:
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here it says “both of you” whether or not Gungir had to come and get you:
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this should probably be invisible?
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Maybe this is because I’m not a native speaker, but Gungir’s answer kind of confused me with the “voice not yours”. My MC said hello and Ingmar hums in response, but then Gungir greets MC, right? Also: there is an “s” missing a little down below.
