In tumblr ask, the author say that the mc is almost as strong as leviathan so yeah… Maybe they feel a bit treaten by it…
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You might be right or she is crazy sadistic asshole who like torturing people for fun 
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You’re people I want to hang out with.
But to comment on the game 
: I love the story idea a lot! The characters draw my attention easily (especially Riyad, he’s so adorable?!) and I’m excited just to get to interact with them.
I’m also so glad we got the option to immediately comfort Louis / Alastair, after he invades the MC’s memories. It just felt so appropriate to have that choice.
Very excited for more! 
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Great demo! Very interested in the concept! Although i gotta say i really wanna beat the shit out of Leviathan and Maria (she’s such a bitch, at least her brother was sorry about it!). Anyway will definitely keep an eye on this one!
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I just really wanted to curb stomp Leviathan for what he did also great profile pic
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Love the update, keep up the good work
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I ran here as soon as I saw this updated on dashingdon. Could you put update dates on the title instead of just in the post? It’s easier not to miss updates that way.
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You forgot to put *sm_init serpentine | 5 in your startup.
I’m still just basic so I can’t edit titles yet 
but I fixed the save code! Thank you!
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Oh yay, updates!
The scene with Lethe was an interesting development. I generally don’t like characters who are brash or aggressive, but that scene made me feel like if we had to, hypothetically, to choose between different characters to go down different routes, I might be inclined to go with her. And that shows both character depth and good plot building!
Noticed one tiny typo 
:
Summary
“So, do you remember your name?” He asks, keeping his voice low.
Your breath stops for a moment. When was the last time anyone has evem uttered your name? You’ve been “little ember” for hundreds of years, but you still remember.
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I’m not sure but I had the same thing happen to me so I’m just guessing the demo ends there
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low level feedback:
(typo)
“You’re Enochian is atrocious. You’ve been spending far too much time consorting with humans.”
high level feedback:
(Unexpected results from choosing an option)
Might be just me, but I chose the “Yes, thank you” choice as a stoic but polite option, but found it jarring that it was actually a genuinely… nice? and emotive option.
And when I tried “It could be worse”, it was a lot more sarcastic than I expected (since option 1 is obviously sarcastic, I think it’d be better to leave out the sarcasm on this one for players who want to play as stoic and reserved. Or to simply add a “Just nod” option.). I ended up having to choose “Does it matter?”, which ended up way more wordier than I expected.
Would it be possible to make the distinction clear so the player knows what to expect of choosing the options? For example this format: [narration of pc’s attitude] [“qoute”]. makes it easier to know what attitude the pc is supposed to have for the option. ex; He’s been very kind. You feel genuine grattitude. “Yes, thank you.”
I love the detailed blurbs of eye color choices btw, and the anomonemaly. Reminds me of that scene in Nemo lol. Although again, the ‘yep’ was a little jarring for the mc I was playing as – which forced me to choose the other option.
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The reactions to the choices in that scene were pretty much what I expected them to be, though I can see how some people might mistake the “Yes, thank you.” as a stoic yet polite option. I second the idea of simply adding an option for the pc to nod.
For this choice I expected the MC to simply say “Does it matter?” And leave it at that, but other than that I was okay with the extra dialogue attached to it.
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@rozane
thank you for letting me know! i’ll fix it asap. 
I’m not too fond of rude & aggressive characters who only seem to have those traits so i’m really glad Lethe doesn’t exude that!
@Sel_Lee
I see what you mean! I’ll rewrite them so they’re easier to understand. I understand choosing an option and it being entirely different than what you expected.
will also change the yep lol it puts me off just rereading it so i understand.
Thank you all for the feedback! It’s incredibly helpful and I very much appreciate it!
(also it tries to load because i added chapter 2 to the startup page but it isn’t actually uploaded. i’ll fix that asap too.)
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Just a small thingy
“Hopefully you’re family will find you soon.”
your
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incredible how i keep doing that. thank you so much for letting me know!!
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Usually I just edit later if I find something else, but you responded pretty fast so here’s another
You can any physical evidence of her touch
You can what?
“You’re Enochian is atrocious. You’ve been spending far too much time consorting with humans.”
Your
I’m calling security." The woman strides to phone connected to the wall
Needs to open quote here
“You’re a bit of an anomoly, aren’t you?”
Anomaly? Its probably a running joke isnt it, it comes back if we say “I suppose so”
He eyes and nose were scrunched up, almost comically.
her
"he’s hardly much of an angel anymore,
Cap that He’s
“And why am I’m your first choice.”
am I
You can recall one day, after your first week of consciousness, where Riyad came
Not a native speaker, but shouldnt it be when?
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@Vilrek
Oh that’s a lot 
Thank you so much for pointing them out! I uh… really need to proof read better lol. Thanks!!
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Uh oh, Dr. Erikson seems too suspicious to me. I wonder what he has planned for us. By the way, I love your demo and thank you for the update! 
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