Yeah you got to stay and eve’s drop
Will there be war?
I enjoyed this!
So your oldest brother is simply a jerk and Would be a shitty king but what about the other? The Mc seems to dislike both but it’s never explained why… Secondly you choose a profession but get not trained in sword fighting, diplomacy etc?
Plus you are the 3rd born so it’s very likely your parents would marry you of for some diplomatic reasons
My thoughts after playing the demo
1)MC’s kingdom is probably poor bcz mc had been kicked out of his room bcz his parents gave that room to MC’s uncle…and he had to live in the towers(That sure is very disrespectful)
2)The King ain’t that favorable with the people of his kingdom…They don’t fear him or love him
3)How can the 1st prince or whatever act like that Infront of the king and queen when they can just remove him from the position of the future king
4)I think MC’s kingdom is new or something bcz the king and queen is concerned about some farms getting attacked in the outskirts of the vast kingdom(Maybe it’s not vast)
5)Why should the peak authority of the kingdom…king and queen care about some random farms getting attacked ain’t that the job of person in charge of managing that area…I refuse to believe that the whole kingdom is just managed by the king and queen
6)And why would mc need to be in the smithy for the smithy to provide more weapons and armour…Do they lack manpower or something???
7)Is the King and queen paranoid or something…Why aren’t they punishing him???..wtf man…why wouldn’t the 3rd prince be considered for the position of the king when the 1st prince acts like trash idk about 2nd prince
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Alternatively if the cinderella esque element is really plot important change the mc’s family from royalty to country nobles. Them holding a barony or even a fairly impoverished city/county will do the trick.
While it would still be humiliating for any noble to be forced into a commoner’s job when it is done to lower nobility, mostly beneath the notice of their more powerful peers it is not totally outside the realm of possibility that mom and dad given how shitty they seem to be personally couldn’t find a peer or overlord to pawn the mc off on to be either married/betrothed or fostered to.
Just a thought though it would make the plot elements as they currently are hold up a fair bit better if the mc is an unfavourite son of lower nobility. After all that kind of plot worked for Cinderella.
I mean this seems to have a lot of elements of a Cinderella retelling anyway, except that it is the birth parents who are shitty, which may not be a bad thing because the evil step-parent is a horribly overused trope. Other than that the mc has two brothers who like belittling and humiliating them, or at least Florian does the other brother may be decent if he ever steps out of F’s shadow, just like how in some versions of Cinderella the younger step-sister is much milder.
There is also nothing wrong with a good Cinderella adaptation, those are enduring tales for a reason.
A prince is still a prince, particularly if the mc’s parent’s realm is indeed vast, just mismanaged. It would then make more sense to marry the brat off to whoever offers the biggest dowry, even if that match would normally be below the station of a prince. It still wouldn’t be living as a commoner, performing a commoner’s trade. Heck if the world is already Renaissance or even early modern-esque enough marry them off to the daughter or son of a banker.
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If the House you were born into is in massive debt it would also do the trick.
That’s a thought that has occurred to me rather recently. We’re talking about how the Queen is being foolish and shortsighted and suggesting a plethora of “better” alternatives that she should be pursuing.
What if the Queen is simply not a wise or good ruler? This seems like the sort of bone-headed, brash “solution” someone who’s not very savvy would pursue.
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Thank you all for your feedback! I’ve rewritten chapter 2 (same link) and would love some feedback. Does this fit in better with what you’d expect in the genre? hit me with your biggest complaints. there is no word i won’t take an axe to in service of a better story. This delayed Chapter 3 slightly but I want to make sure we’ve got the strongest base possible before I move on. No reason to stack up 30 chapters building off a shoddy start.
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Alright, i’ve re-read this new chapter, and i have to say…what?
I mean, it’s good that it’s at least not “go off to be a blacksmith”, but it doesn’t make sense unless the protagonist is female. I mean, the entire point of an arranged marriage is to have children, and thus, “unite” the houses. That’s literally the entire point of arranged marriage. It makes absolutely zero logic otherwise.
Would it not make sense to have it be a princess in the case of a male protagonist? I mean…seriously, what? Like, i’m trying to think of a world in which this makes sense, but i can’t. If you’re just writing the protagonist in the basis of a female, then why not do it so canonically?
Really, i guess it’s not what, it’s why?
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I agree, it’s a little unusual. I went back and forth writing it and might take the path of gender-flipping Prince Jeffery but I’m interested in collecting some more feedback on what’s written at the moment first
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It’s not just unusual, the entire point of an arranged marriage is to have a child of both houses to work as a connection. It literally makes zero logic otherwise. If it’s a prince, then it should be a princess, if it’s a princess, it should be prince.
Regardless of what the people of this seting consider morality, this is merely a matter of biology.
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I actually thought this was a hilarious interaction, especially if you play a bloke.
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That’s a really good point, and I think it’ll be interesting to explore how an arranged marriage that isn’t necessarily centered around child-bearing would work. And if it doesn’t work in text, I’ll write something else. But I do appreciate the feedback!
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I actually prefer this version, despite the fact that I really would have preferred to be a blacksmith. It seemed like there was just really no way to write the previous version without alienating some segment of your readers.
Edit: Although, it appears that some readers are already feeling alienated by the new version… But I have a sense the same people would be alienated by 95% of games on CoG.
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That’s…not an marriage at all.
Like, i’m not exaggerating when i say it is “the entire point.”. Without the childbearing to unite the houses by causing the new child to be from both clans, this “Marriage” has literally no sense or value. Why would they ever bother to arrange something like that if there won’t be an marriage?
In the current case, when you play as a prince, they’re literally just handing you over as a hostage with an extremely bizarre tie on the top.
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Yeah no the marriage don’t really make any sense
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Yeah, I think you should consider the culture of this kingdom: what’s the food like, climate, and how the political system works. Arranged marriage between individuals of same sex could still be useful politically, they won’t produce a child though and the role of childbearing and inheritance is what should get some development to make it work.
And that’s a lot of work so you can either take it one step at the time, throw yourself into worldbuilding or just decide you don’t care.
And all of the above are acceptable approaches.
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True–of that, I am very aware 
specifically as a same-sex relationship, or the concept itself within the story?
Same sex, uniting the bloodlines through kids or whatever is normally the reason for these marriages right?
I hope there is a little more world building on technology and politics.