I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything offensive
None taken ! It’s perfectly understandable, I know poetry and prose is not everyone’s cup of tea.
That’s what I am used to, and what I generally like to read, however, I’m working on it to make it lighter, it’s a process, but like I said, thank you for your time ! : ) @chukwuma_ANYANWU
I usually wait until I’ve finished the author’s work before I comment but holy shit I need to share the best paragraph of all time:
Loudly and mechanically pummeling against the cage that held it inside your meat suit, your heart screams with a lack of reservation, agony chaining it tighter and tighter into a gnarled lump that had been drowned in wine. At any moment, it could explode, burst out from within your chest like a horrendous newborn aberration of extraterrestrial origins: all teeth and eyes, with sharp corners and slimy mucus dripping down from between its gaping maw, as it would screech out to the world about its tantalizing hunger. And you would be none the wiser as to why your entire body was twisting and turning from the inside out in such a fashion.
Translation: “Your heart began to pound really hard”. I’m not at all far in the WIP but if that’s how the MC reacts to their pounding heart, then I know I’m in for a ride.
like a horrendous newborn aberration of extraterrestrial origins oh my word 
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There’s supposed to be an aspect of cosmic horror (or just horror in general), so I’ll be slipping these kind of descriptions here and there.
But yes, I was debating whether it was too much or not, until I simply gave in into the temptation, ha ha. Glad someone can appreciate the oddness that it is! :’)
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As a side author-wise update:
Apologies for the lack of updates, life has been hectic once again, so I haven’t been able to dedicate myself properly to writing the text, especially in a manner that’d satisfy me — lots of drafts, but no results that’d do it for me at the moment. But, promise, I’ll be back on track soon-ish, been writing off my current artist haze.
I also probably need to update the blog to get it running, however I am not sure what people would be interested in. Perhaps fully-fledged character profiles or in-character drabbles? I guess the question is: who would you be interested on learning more about? So far, the demo allows you to meet the ghost that haunts you, and even then it’s a very short bit.
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I wonder what kind of races we’re going to be able to play as.
Given it’s a game on a western (dare I assume, American setting?) and in the middle of nowhere (I assume forests and mountains) I think wendigos would be a cool addition. Emaciated, human-like monsters with deer traits.
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Wendigos were definitely on my list of playable PC races, and as a proper monstrosity that is. I like their more traditional design, so I aiming for a close description of that, rather than the more modernized/popularized version of it (while that one is also quite great, I have a thing for the macabre and the horror, and the modern design is not horrifying enough for my taste).
Similar treatments will also touch other familiar and less familiar races.
The setting has Western-like qualities, but is not closed or limited to it. Some of the characters are very particular on their own and would probably be quite the enigma as to what they are even doing in such a place in the first place. 
My base layer is built on Old Western foundations, but beyond that I can not tell, that’d go into spoilers territory a bit.
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Um… where to begin with this one? I’m not quite sure if I really like this or not. This story is really eye catching… literally. Not many people realize but writing is an art form and it’s very much visual like painting or sculpting. A story might be good but if the formatting is shit, most people won’t read it to prevent straining their eyes.
But this? This work is visually pleasing. I saw some well formatted work in my 22 years but this is probably the prettiest. It fits the poetic writing really well, making the words look like a picture. And… that’s as much as I can say. Yeah yeah. Everyone is saying the same thing about the writing. I find myself staring at the words like I’m at an art museum but unable to understand them.
There’s nothing wrong with flowery language. I can tell this is well written with a lot of consideration to each word. But it’s just too much. I need a translation script half the time. I’m going to stop here since I’ll just be saying the same thing as everyone.
Really, it’s the formatting that got me to comment since I gotta praise it. But there’s one thing the rustle my jimmies… the way dialogue is formatted. Oo ooo oooo, my eyes are bleeding. Italic, bold, or using comic sans, it’s all good. But when people don’t use quotation marks, I want to kill myself. There’s nothing wrong with quotation marks. It’s your friend. It’s already hard to decode the meaning, I don’t want to decode another thing of “Was this said out loud? Is this a thought? A scene description using a character’s POV?” The Road already traumatized me with its lack of quotation marks, sorry… I’m a heavy advocator of the beautiful quotation mark.
Thank you for your thoroughness.
It is quite late, but I deemed it necessary to give my reply before I forget it into the forgotten depths of my mountain of tasks. I’ll address the matters in order to make sure I haven’t missed a beat.
Yes, the flowery aspect is being fixed as best as I can, without significantly erasing the value of my work; for I don’t wish for it to completely lose its identity. Furthermore, my text does lean itself towards works of people with " extensive vocabulary, " so to speak.
The double chevrons ( « and ») are actually when the dialogue is put in-between, those are often used as quotation marks in my tongue, hence why the use of the guillemets, rather than the usual " and " s. I know it’s not exactly used in English, not on an official scale (so yes, when you say I don’t use quotation mark, it is a false assumption, I do use them, just not in the way most are used to), this is what I am going with for now, until I have figured out how to go around every other problems that seems to be picked at.
The italic additionally between the carets just emphasize when the conversation happens and when it ends. If it doesn’t have those angled brackets, then it’s safe to assume it is an inner monologue or something else completely.
Here in the hopes I have written about each point you have brought up with as much comprehension as I can manage at this time of the night.
I for one enjoy your flowery language, it makes the text look… oldish I guess?
Quotation marks though. While I do understand using « and its counterpart instead of ”, by my understanding they are still used similarly? Which makes the following segment looks odd to say the least:
It is like you say the whole paragraph out loud instead of just ”Yunru, it’s you”, which is what I assume you intended? Is this how dialogs are actually written in your tongue? I mean, instead of
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