Hey there! Welcome to my brand new WIP, What a Brilliant Existence! This is my first time doing anything of the sort, so please bear with me.
In this slice-of-life, modern fantasy, character and relationship-focused game, you’ll play as an eighteen year old with the power to control all four elements recently freed from the grasp of your abusive, controlling mother, who now has to learn how to deal with the outside world.
You’ll befriend (and/or romance, if that floats your boat) four different people (one for each element) who will try to help you as much as they can, but, in all honesty, at the end of the day, everyone’s a bit messed up.
Sydney Blanchard: a Water Elemental appointed to be your “carer” while you adapt to the real world. They’re kind, humble and worry about your safety nearly as much as they breathe.
Dani dos Reis: the Fire Elemental who bartends at the place you sometimes frequent. They’re confident and flirty, and seems to have taken a liking to you.
Alex Huntley: they’re as friendly as they are anxious, not to mention a bit shy. This Air Elemental starts living in the same building as you.
Max Huntley: Max is an Earth Elemental whom you meet through Dani. They’re exceedingly quiet and grumpy, but you don’t think they mean any harm.
The plan is for the game to be divided into three parts, each one containing five chapters, meaning we’ll total 15 chapters at the end. The story will have a few (small) time skips here and there. At the very least, it’ll span about a year on the MC’s life.
What I’m looking for feedback-wise:
- Odd sentences (although I am fluent in English, it is not my first language)
- Grammar mistakes/coding errors;
- Is there something you wished you were able to do or say, but the game didn’t let you? Tell me.
- Anything that put you out of the game; a scene that was too fast, some weird dialogue, etc.
Please read the last post! This is now on Tales!
If you like my work, please consider buying me a coffee.
May 24th Update: The rest of Chapter One has been uploaded.
August 24th Update: Chapter Two is here.
December 3rd Update Chapter Three has arrived.
Current total word count: 61.5k, including command lines.