Alrighty y’all. This’ll be interesting! I sincerely hope this works because the coding for this was a mindbender when it’s been a short whole since I last did any of it. That said…
Bear with me, I am very bad with summaries. You’re to play as a former God-Hunter who now works as an agent for Lucifer at LCA. Set in Halcyon, British Colombia (based on Nelson), you’ve always worked alone, even as a Hunter. But things are changing according to Lucifer. Changing enough to thrust you into a team of Supernatural senior agents! Your first case? Easy. Investigate the disappearance of a young human man. Just try not to scare the tourists, yeah? They’re here for the Halcyon’s first art gallery in years, after all!
The ROs (who are gender-selectable)!
Details taken from my Tumblr post… Min-Jun/Min-Ji: The oldest of the group, far older than Ileana. Exceptionally patient, sympathetic, and kind. Difficult to anger. Loves kids and always wanted their own family. Somehow managed to befriend Cerberus. Is all about modern technology and is constantly trying new apps and games. As a male, Min-Jun is 6′5. As a female, Min-Ji is 6′2.
Andrei/Anya Carthorne: Second oldest of the group, they were adopted into a now deceased royal family. A total soda addict. They wear suits with one-shoulder capes– yes, really. They also have the most beautiful smile of the group according to Maples. They keep their emotions to a minimum but they’re cordial and respectful, even to those who offend them… more or less. As a male, Andrei is 6′0. As a female, Anya is 5′8.
Maples: Named after their eye color, their true name is difficult to pronounce! They are energetic, fidgety, and watchful. The wool does not go over these eyes! They came to work at the LCA after losing a bet, but they genuinely enjoy what the work. The age is a bit difficult to pin down. As a male, Maples is 5′7. As a female, 5′3.
Eugene/Eugenia “Gen” Ashwell: Assumedly the youngest, they aren’t one to shy away from a challenge. They’re often in charge of training agents, can be arrogant regarding their work and performance, hates getting dirty, and can’t stand being touched without expressed permission. As a male, Eugene is 6′6. As a female, Eugenia is 6′1.
One day, I will return to it. It’s still uploaded for anyone curious to peek at it, but do note that the last available chapter is incomplete! Come the time I go back to it, the ROs will still remain gender-locked.
so far so good! admittedly, i was a little bummed out when the story has supernatural elements and such and we play as a human but that more of a personal preference honestly. i am a little hesitant with uhh leading people. all is well unless id have to give them orders and such, im more of a follower than a leader type. not much typos but i did read this at crack dawn, only just some missing quotation marks. very interesting so far.
about being a god hunter though, i just wanna ask at how were able to do that with half a soul and we’re human. not only that, there is a big draw back to our condition. kind of weird that a human is able to hunt gods though. since there are other god hunters out there, though pretty scarce, is the mc the considered like the best of the best?
i can already feel someone from the team wont like me for whatever reason.
MC isn’t going to be leading the team, so don’t worry there! I can understand the feelings regarding playing as a human and the supernatural elements, as I know it can be sort of… “boring” to play as such, and I also know there’s quite the saturation of supernatural (and perhaps paranormal) focused stories here. Or just in general, really. If you find the missing quotation marks at any point, please screenshot them for me! I thought I put them back in but-
As for Gods, they aren’t unkillable- that isn’t a word but you get the idea . Hence why a God can die from decapitation. They’re immortal, yes, but not impossible to dispose of. Being a human is hardly a limitation. Though… it does pose an interesting question, doesn’t it?
Considering MC hunted Gods for a few years and survived, yeah, they’d probably called such, however true that may or may not be.
Interesting premise. I’m a bit confused regarding the Gods and the supernaturals. Are they bring referred to as the same beings in the story?
Very minor issue - sometimes I wished my mc’s dialogue was influenced by his character traits in certain instances.
Ex - the starting dialogue with Samuel, “they’re waiting, aren’t they?” When coming in to meet the team…I’m building a stoic, aloof, brave, logical and arrogant mc. So some of these choices didn’t seem to go well with what my MC would say in that instant.
Haha, same. And I still can’t stand the “you”, despite reading text-based IF for years. It still causes a bit of disconnect from the story, even if I got used to it by now. It’s such a DELIGHT when an author goes for first person narration!
Okay, onto my actual feedback for the author!
What can I say, I like it a lot, as it is! But it’s a bit early for very deep feedback.
As far as I’m concerned, I actually like the fact the MC is human, but I hope they won’t be revealed to be “something more”, cause I feel THAT is what is most common, instead of the mere “a human in a team of supernaturals” thing. I wouldn’t mind the MC being “turned” into something else, since that on the other hand doesn’t seem to happen often. But eh, these are just musings at this point!
Generally speaking, I liked the array of options offered in the choices, except for two instances:
In the choice about why the MC became a hunter, I feel it’s missing the option to hate hunting (and possibly killing people, sometimes), but being forced by their family or circumstances. None of the presented options fits a MC who’s both brave AND pacifist - no option fits a pacifist at all, really? Apathy is not the same, after all!
A slightly similar one, though it didn’t feel as “needed”, is being excited instead of nervous, in the last choice about how MC feels about meeting the team.
That aside, I’m curious to meet the ROs, and I too am already sad that Lucifer isn’t one of them. I love him already! And well, I always loved the figure themselves - I tend to like Lucifer no matter the incarnation. But alas, that will not happen. I’m still sure I’ll love at least one of the actual ROs anyway.
And I think that’s it. I didn’t really keep an eye out for typos, I’ll admit. I’ll probably do so when there’s more content.
@Paradox1 Gods and Supernaturals are generally viewed separately, only because there’s a sort of hierarchy, where Gods would be above Supernaturals.
There a couple instances where MC’s personality does have a slight affect on responses, but I could make something for that particular scene to reflect that as well.
Took me an embarrassingly long minute to figure out the errors, good lord, but they shall be fixed! @heavy_bullet I understand I have attempted to write in a second POV but it’s very strange for me! Possible, but strange. Still, I consider it for at least future possible projects. @Wolfie You are not the only one sad about not being able to flirt with Lucifer-. @Konoi I completely forgot about the fact that MC might hate hunting whoops. I think, when it came to the choices for how MC felt to meet the team, I felt I had included an excited option- I will have to re-read! Not because I doubt you, but because my brain is telling me I did I will have to include that.
I had the option to have my MC feel excited when Lucifer tells them about the whole team deal. But when talking with Eryn, the options are to begrudgingly admit that yes, the MC is nervous, playing it off and saying THEY should be nervous about meeting the MC, so a more joking/sarcastic option, say no about being nervous (the “no” being a lie), having the MC SO nervous they want to throw up, and having them not be nervous at all and wondering why Eryn thinks so (in a stoic way).
So none of these were the “friendly-excited” type
I really like it, it’s good to just play as a normal human with good skill instead of being some sort of weird halfbreed chosen one, besides that, I like the characters and I just love how it is in first person can’t wait for the opportunity of being a grumpy teacher.
Poll time! At 9AM my time-
Would you prefer the next update be chapter 2, where you meet the ROs and begin investigating ? Or, would you rather wait for chapters 2 and 3, where the latter of course leads deeper into the story?
One chapter is fine! It means a shorter wait!
Nah, give us that content; 2 chapters! The wait better be worth it >:(