Weeping Gods (WIP, 29/NOV/2024) (298K)

[jcollins]

This tale sweeps you up and drops you back 3500 years into the past, straight onto the banks of the Nile, at the dawn of the Egyptian New Kingdom. The Empire has only been liberated from a hundred year old occupation. The scars left by the war are still healing and yet, threats loom on the horizon again. Some powerful artifacts have been stolen and the king entrusts you with their recovery. Suddenly finding yourself out of your depth and all out of options, you have no choice but to agree to the dangerous mission. You don’t know what awaits you on this journey but you know one thing for sure: if you don’t catch the enemies of the empire, you will risk more than your own life.

Take your fate into your own hands, solve mysteries, meet new friends, fall in love, learn about magic, monsters, spirits, gods, and have fun in the ancient Egyptian Kingdom in this historical fantasy novel.

The story is a work of fiction and is not historically accurate.

• Choose from 4 different origin characters, each with unique stories and choices that will follow you through the rest of the game:

• a priest in over their head with a caring and loyal mentor
• a noble very much in over their head with a problematic family
• the captain of the Theban Guard, who is way too tired for this
• a thief from the slums of Thebes, desperate for survival

• Play as male, female or non-binary; gay, straight or bi.

• Build friendships, rivalries, or find love with a young prince, a mysterious spymaster, a brooding spirit, an elite warrior… or even the pharaoh himself.

• Explore Egypt through a series of adventures with a ragtag team of characters

• Solve mysteries, climb the Great Pyramid of Giza, deal with the sparks of revolution, and help secure the kingdom’s future

Warnings: The story will contain heavy and dark themes, excessive swearing, and mental health problems, so it is recommended for mature audiences only. The whole list of triggering content can be found in the beginning of the demo.

I will update the list of triggering content as the story goes on. In the future, I will also add optional sexual content that you will be able to turn on or off at your own discretion, but currently there is no sexual content present. When it becomes relevant, I will create another demo and post it in the Adult category.

Currently, the demo includes:

• Chapter 1 completed
• Chapter 2 completed

Changelog:

Summary

29/11/24

• 2k words added
• ton of small changes and added variations in the first 2 chapters
• changed warning messages at the age-choice and the text in the choices itself
• changed Tia’s hospital scene
• typo/grammar fixes

23/11/24

• 13k words added
• added rest of the scenes to ch2
• typo/grammar fixes

15/11/24

• 14k words added
• fixed some errors in the code, including one where warnings didn’t show up for late teen mc
• typo/grammar

01/11/24

• 11k words added
• fixed small bugs and inconsistencies in text
• fixed a big error on the captain’s route that made readers skip half of ch1
• grammar/typos

25/10/24

• 22k words added
• fixed some coding errors
• added more flavor text
• typo/grammar

18/10/24

• 20k words added
• fixed some previous coding errors
• grammar/typo

11/10/24

• chapter 1 finished
• 11k plus
• fixed some previous errors in code
• new link

04/10/24

• 13k words added
• typo/grammar fixes
• list of triggers updated

27/09/24

• plus 22k words (edit: made a mistake before that said 16k. that’s not correct)
• added skeleton of captain of the guard route
• added map to codex
• fixed bugs
• fixed grammar/typos

20/09/24

• plus 18k words
• the entire priest origin is playable
• added Codex to Stats page
• added achievements to priest route
• updated trigger warnings
• added more to Relationships tab on Stats
• fixed some bugs
• grammar/typo fixes

13/09/24

• plus 28k words
• a big chunk of the priest origin (some choices missing)
• typo/grammar fixes

06/09/24

• about an extra 17k words
• every choice is available on the noble origin
• edited some parts of the chapter 2 scene for the noble character
• fixed grammar mistakes and typos
• edited some scenes in the beginning where you and your sister wander around the slums
• added achievements to the noble origin

30/08/24

• about an extra 25k words
• almost everything on the noble origin is playable
• added the noble to the first scene of Chapter 2
• added tone indicators to the romantic choices
• more NPC descriptions in the Relationships tab on Stats screen
• fixed typos, incorrect pronouns, and small coding errors

23/08/24:

• about an extra 25k words
• you can now play as the child of the vizier
• most of the choices are greyed out and tagged as “coming soon”, but you can read through chapter 1 following a single thread of choices
• the first scene of chapter 2 is playable by a thief character
• fixed some coding errors, typos, incorrect pronouns, weird line breaks, weird choices appearing twice
• added options for thief when you try to figure out who Qenna is for a female Qenna that I forgot to add earlier
• added some RO descriptions in the stats

Word count (with code): around 296 000 words
Word count (without code): 271 000 words
Average playthrough: 40 000 words

Last update: 23. Nov. 2024.

LINK TO THE DEMO

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[forestnymph]

Ooh I love Ancient Egypt so much, excited to see a WIP with this setting! The demo is a lot of fun so far. Narmer and Qenna are definitely my favorite characters so far, I love the dynamic and contrast between them :]

[jcollins]

Thank you so much! Ancient Egypt has also been one of my favorite historical periods since I was teenager basically, but so far I’ve mostly been writing about it as a hobby. It’s exciting to finally write something to a broader audience

[schizoidnet]

Ohh man this is perfect timing. Just recently watched a documentary on ancient Egypt, can’t wait to dive in!

[jcollins]

Haha thank you! I hope you’ll like it then I tried not to do infodumps and such, and kind of just slowly ease into the atmosphere, so hopefully it’s entertaining to read even if you don’t know anything about that time period. (although maybe I’m not the best judge of that because I’ve been an ancient Egypt history nerd for decades lol)

[ChanceOfFire]

@jcollins

As much as I like historical accuracy, this is NOT historically accurate and isn’t meant to be.

You weren’t kidding. But no worries. This was a fun romp in a game which doesn’t take the setting too seriously.

Is this missing a disable_resue?

*if (askifqenna_drugdealer = true) #“Wait, are you a drug dealer?”

[jcollins]

@ChanceOfFire

You weren’t kidding.

Yes It was inspired by historical figures, and I tried to be authentic with the general setting and time period, but the story and the characters are all fictional. It also has magic and other fantasy stuff, so… yeah.

@ChanceOfFire

Is this missing a disable_resue?

*if (askifqenna_drugdealer = true) #“Wait, are you a drug dealer?”

I think I can’t put two *statements on one line, so… no? Then again, I’m not a pro at coding, so if you think of a way, I’ll gladly change it.

[ChanceOfFire]

*fake_choice
  *if (askifqenna_drugdealer = true)
    *disable_reuse #"Wait, are you a drug dealer?"

I’m not sure, but see if this works?

[jcollins]

@ChanceOfFire

I’m not sure, but see if this works?

IT DOES! Thank you, I will include it in the next update

[Dragomer]

Oh, some egypte is always fun

[Dragomer]

I’ve just finished trying the demo and I have to say that so far, being a thief is so vital to the plot that the different backgrounds thing might be a bit over-ambitious.

[jcollins]

The others will be vital too, it’s just that Narmer will have different reasons to hire you

Most of the differences in the backgrounds will come out in chapter 1. That’s why chapter 1 is looking out to be massive compared to the others, because the 4 backgrounds will be wildly different here. However, the routes will merge at the end of chapter 1, so from then on, your background will give flavor to the story, but won’t be as prominent. If you’ve ever played with Dragon Age Origins, it’s a bit like that, so that you start the story differently, but eventually you’ll go down the same path no matter where you came from.

[Lucifur-dark]

Haven’t looked at the demo yet but did you forget to mark it as updated because if you go to dashingdon it’s not their

[jcollins]

I did 2 days ago, so I don’t know why it isn’t there. I was actually wondering about that too, I thought maybe I had to wait until it appears?

Anyway, check now, I did it again.

[Greninja23401]

Well, The story is MAGNIFICENT.
I like how we can be snarky, moody and some memes are present as well in choices.
I hope different background or weapons don’t affect story much(?)

Though, on a side note, since it is possible to be bi in this game, wouldn’t it be better if one of Side character was a feminine male with light voice?

[jcollins]

Thank you very much, I’m glad you like it!

The differences in your background won’t have too much effect later, but occasionally each will offer unique choices, responses or solutions that other backgrounds won’t have. It will also affect the romances a tiny bit, but you won’t be locked out of a romance just because you started as a thief or something, so you don’t have to worry about that

The weapons are basically just your personal preference. It will only affect the combat later on.

The characters are all planned out already, and I have no plans of changing them. There are still two more ROs you haven’t met yet. Hopefully you’ll find someone you like If not, there is also a no-romance/friendship only route available!

[Harley_Robin_Evans]

Sounds interesting

[yizhens]

It’s always good to see new WIPs where you can be a thief and it was such a fun read! The description makes it easy to imagine everything that’s happening and the dynamic between the characters is so good. I also really liked the MC and now I’m curious to see how the first chapter will differ for the other backgrounds.

[jcollins]

Thank your for the very useful feedback! It’s good to hear that the descriptions work because I’m a character writer and making descriptions is the hardest part for me I sometimes have to physically restrain myself from writing 15 pages of dialogue without a single description…

May I ask which path you took with your MC if you don’t mind?

[yizhens]

@jcollins

May I ask which path you took with your MC if you don’t mind?

Sure. My MC escaped the prison with Sesi’s help and then decided that he definitely needed a drink after all that. He met Qenna shortly after and followed him to the Royal Palace after talking a bit with him.