Amazing so far, I love it!!! 
Also the Doctor Strange vibes I get are amazing!! 
Keep up the good workā¦
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Okay i really enjoyed reading it, the puns even tho im not biggest fan of em i did kinda like em also i keep imagining MC as dr strange
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@greekjohn1998
Thank you for all the emotes! Also, itās funny how everyone is really getting a Doctor Strange vibe after the 3rd Chapter. Which is cool because heās a cool character!
@Aleksa100
I appreciate it! I hope to get a proper stat screen up soon to save people from the puns (or at least tuck them away a little). 
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Mehh. 1st Chapter was goodā¦ I kinda lost interest by Chapter 3. =/
Needs more communications with other characters (especially ROs), I think. Didnāt really care about helpinā that one chicās son with his magical lesson, though I wanted to be a good teacher.
Plot should have some sort of mystery to it, too. Maybe some BIG bad gang boss is after MC for their magical powers or MC is trying to find out what happen to his/her parents or somethingā¦ Idk.
I guess Iāll just have to read more in the future before making a firm decisionā¦ Good luck! =)
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@SneakyFantasy
I appreciate you checking it out and thanks for the critical feedback! Itās always nice to get another point of view so I can try and pull in other people 
. Iām glad you enjoyed the first chapter! Is that because of the interaction with Melany? Iām sorry you feel that itās a bit slow after that but I can see why you might feel that way if you donāt like the ālife simyā vibe of it and want to get into the meat of the story. Do you mind if I ask why you didnāt feel like helping the kid? Was it because you didnāt like him in particular or was it because you just generally werenāt hooked at that point?
And itās funny when you say that you want some kind of mystery because the overall story line is definitely mystery focused. I just forget sometimes that while I know all the cool surprises coming, I need to translate that into my writing! I might go back and re-jig the first wasteling fight to better hint at the mysteries to come so thanks for pointing that out! Having said that, I do plan on it being a slow-boil of a story and to sometimes just have fun with the characters (kind of in a life-sim way) so it might just not end up being your cup of tea. The next 2 Chapters will also be introducing 2 ROs (one female, one male) so I hope that that might draw people in who are eager to engage in mature characters and not just Charlie.
Thanks for reading!
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Of course! I did like to see the interactions between the siblings, yeah! The vampires were sort of interesting too, but itās been done before soo ehh.
I liked him, but yeahhā¦ was kind of losing interest at that point.
Hmmā¦ Ok! I guess Iāll just need to read more to see what you do! ^^
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@SneakyFantasy
Ah, I see your point about the vampires. I admit that those are the supernatural creatures I have the most trouble writing for at the moment. After engaging with the āWorld of Darknessā lore (really interesting vampires) itās hard to make vampires that can compete and I obviously donāt want to straight copy so I might be verging a bit too much on the boring side. Definitely something to consider to see if I canāt turn that first fight into something a bit more interesting!
I really enjoyed the demo, but there were things I didnāt like, for example the fact that your character is established to be someone who is amazing at magic just because it suits the plot. What Iād suggest is saying that your teacher, the one that thought you all the wards also thought you to control magic. And tell more about your mentor, maybe add flashbacks. But overall Iām enjoying the story so far.
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@Hearts
Waitā¦wolves donāt have reptilian parts?! There goes all my knowledge of lupine physiology! 
But, seriously, thank you! I fixed it so that it now recognises your familiarās proper anatomy.
@Numex
I think I know the part youāre talking about. Yeh, Iād intended it to be more like āYou had a natural gift and your master was so talented that he managed to turn it into something very specialā. But it doesnāt come off like that at all, so Iāll rejig that part to make it more clear! Also, Iāve already written a few fun flashback scenes, but am just trying to find the right place to stick them in without breaking the flow too badly (Iāve always been bad at finding the right place for them)! But theyāre fun, cute and Iām really excited to get them out there!
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A good place for a flashback would be in the part where youāre drawing wards on yourself, in the shower or while teaching the boy.
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@Numex
Ohhhhhhā¦thatās actually perfect! I have just the scene for the shower one. I really should have thought about that before but, like I said, Iām horrible at seeing the proper place for flashbacks. Cheers!
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Mildly unimprtant question:How old are MC and sis?
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Love the new chapter, only wish we could have really melted his phone. I hate everyoneās obsession with them nowadays.
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@Aleksa100
While I have general idea in mind, I donāt want to give a strict age out because I kind of like letting people read it however they want to (within reason ). However, there will be scenes where both you and Melany are allowed to drink (whatever age that means in your country) and you attended the same school that had both primary and secondary/high school (So you can see yourself as being anywhere from a couple years to a decade apart really.)
If people really want more clarity then I might put something more in the story, but I donāt think Iāll ever force it down to a specific age number.
@2xs
Haha! Admittedly, it was a quite therapeutic to write that scene!
As promised, Iām going to slowly start introducing the ROs! To start with, hereās a quick look at one youāll meet in the next chapter!
Romantic Interest:
Elza the claymore wielding, Scottish care-bear. Erā¦I mean, were-bear (Available to anyone):
Sheās a sturdy 6 feet and naturally well-built with fiery orange hair thatās buzzed on the left side but cascades across and down the right to contrast exotically with striking blue eyes. Sheās got a good heart, an implacable smile and is a well-known, serial bear hugger even when not in bear form. She has a general lust for life and optimistic energy, but can fall back into a thick Scottish accent if agitated. However, thatās rare because sheās part bear; not much worries her.
Sheās an enforcer of Maāat and your old partner so you already have a very friendly rapport with her. However, with a bit of nudging she might be able to become something more. Also, your familiar already likes her which is always a plus. Jealous familiars-in-law can be such a pain.
Even if you donāt romance her, sheās a close friend and ally who would gladly lay down her life for you.
Book Structure:
Also, Iād like to officially note that this is the first story of 3 and is itself split up into 3 parts of 5 chapters each.
Iām trying to write it this way so that people can get a sense for when theyāre nearing the end of the book based on how many of the 15 chapters they have left. I love reading actual books because of the feel you get as the pages begin to dwindle and you realise that thereās not much left so things are going to get intense. Unfortunately, you donāt get that with online fiction so Iām trying to keep the structure strict so that you can see the end draw near!
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I legit just finished reading the updated Demo, only to pop out and see this. Great to see your progress, Man.
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O.o Nice Work!
The Wolf familiar seems like a real piece of work.
"Itās Finnish.ā
Charlieās eyes beam. āWeāre done?ā
Could he be any dumber? LoL
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@SenorBurrito
Thanks! It feels good to get some information out there even if it isnāt a new chapter. Otherwise itās too easy to fall into complacency!
@AmericanShakespeare
Haha, yep. That gem of a joke was certainly at his expense! I couldnāt resist.
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3 ROs in total now!
Elza ā The claymore wielding, Scottish were-bear. (Available to all):
Description:
Sheās a sturdy 6 feet and naturally well-built with fiery orange hair thatās buzzed on the left side but cascades across and down the right to contrast exotically with striking blue eyes. Sheās got a good heart, an implacable smile and is a well-known serial bear hugger even when not in bear form. She has a general lust for life and optimistic energy, but can fall back into a thick Scottish accent if agitated. However, thatās rare because sheās part bear; not much worries her.
Sheās an enforcer of Maāat and your old partner so you already have a very friendly rapport with her. However, with a bit of nudging she might be able to become something more. Also, your familiar already likes her which is always a plus. Jealous familiars-in-law can be such a pain.
Teaser:
Staring down the line of samurai golems looking to slice us to shreds, I hear Elzaās lilting voice next to me. āWell, thereās one thing we should be thankful ferā.ā
āOh, yeh?ā I ask, honestly curious as I turn to look at the woman and notice her claymore angled eagerly in front of her.
āAye. At least they arenāt Scots.ā She smiles.
I roll my eyes as the samurai charge.
Rowan ā Fellow stage magician and performance partner (Likely will be available to all):
Description:
Youād think a magician would be numb to mundane life and thatās why they escape to performing magic tricks, but instead Rowan finds wonder and magic wherever he looks. However, heās been down ever since his father took badly ill so you donāt catch him in such a mood as often as youād like. Still, on the rare day when you manage to elicit his sunny side, he has a childlike wonder and general enthusiasm thatās hard to deny and is completely infectious. Heās never left the city and seen the world, so youāre quite sure that if he ever does, his head might explode.
Teaser:
āI used to hang out here all the time with my dad when I was a kid. Too bad we canāt get in.ā Rowan laments as he wistfully gazes into the abandoned arcade.
āYeh.ā I murmur. āItās a shame. It would probably take a magician to pull off something like that. Too bad we donāt know any.ā I take an innocent slurp of my drink as I stick my face up to the glass, my plan in full swing.
Rowan crosses his arms as he raises an eyebrow at me, tempered excitement creeping into his eyes.
I canāt help but laugh when, on cue, the lights buzz to life as if by magic. But magicās easy. What made this gift special is that there wasnāt any.
The Stranger ā A Super Hero? A magical? Maybe just a free spirit? (Available to all):
Description:
Really, you have no idea what he is. He just seems to show up places with a smile and an agenda, accompanied with some flirting. Some think heās charming while others think heās a sleaze, and youāre not quite sure whose side heās on. Will you engage with his flirting or shut him down at first glance?
This relationship is mainly designed to be a bit of fun and a bit of drama. His main goal in life seems to be to get ahead any way he can and he holds a strange grudge for you, so the question is whether you can enchant him enough to want to stay behind.
Teaser:
As I rush into the room I slam the door behind me and let out a frustrated sigh when I notice that thereās no lock: only a table and a couple of chairs decorate the small room. With few options, I drag over the table and fuse its legs into the ground to make opening the door much harder.
āGoing to help this time?ā I ask, not even deigning to look at the glamoured figure standing in the corner of the room.
The Stranger seems only mildly surprised that Iād noticed him there. āOh, but I do so enjoy the struggle.ā Purrs the shadow-cloaked figure.
With a kick I send one of the chairs skidding over to him before giving him an inviting bow. āThen might I suggest you sit down and enjoy the show?ā
My smile and light bow are only mildly affected by the door cracking behind me.
Chapter 4 Progress: Chapter 4 is coming along bear-ingly (Ha! That pun doesnāt even make sense). I was worried it was being structured to become a bit of a bore but now I think itās planning out to be quite fun. Thanks to Elzaās pension for trouble, youāll be able get to into a scrap with a Super, dig up a body or be a good warlock and do none of the above! After all, you have a show tonight, getting injured might impact your performance.
It will still be a little while because I want to also add in Stats. Thatās right, Stats are finally coming! Iāll do an update on them in a little while but they should be interesting. A mix of attributes, spells, perks 'n quirks to add a little flavour to scenes and a means to keep track of each of your personas!
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