Vox City - The Heist (WIP)

[Kinetik]

Hello everyone, this is my first ever choicescript game. I posted about it in the interest thread not too long ago, but I ended up changing some elements. Yet, the concept stays fairly similar so I hope you enjoy it.

Genre: Cyberpunk with sci-fi elements set in a dystopian world.

Plot:

You hit an all-time low in a city that doesn’t favor the weak.

Everything you had, lost.

Enter Valerio Vidal, a man with a walking cane in one hand and an offer to you in the other; he managed to slip into your life just at the right time.

Will you rise to the occasion and accept a job of a lifetime that might help you regain your power and pride?

In a City filled with cyber-enhanced street warriors, cyborgs masquerading as the law, and techies waging wars on the net. Have you got what it takes to beat the best, and better them at their own game?

There’s only one way to find out, as you have got nothing else to lose - except maybe your life.

Transform your body with cyberware that most suits your style. Form alliances, make enemies, and fall in love.

Clash with the nefarious gangs of the Confines, outrun the VCPD as they try to stop your on your quest, and try not to lose your mind to hackers on the net.

Are you a citizen from City Center that fell from grace or maybe you’re a lowly thug from the Confines?

Shape your own story in this city gone mad. Will you try to save it, or let it burn to the ground?

Romance: I currently have 2 romance options developed, but I plan on adding about two more in the future.

WARNING: The game contains mature language, sexual themes, and illegal substances.

The demo currently only holds the prologue, which is about 11,357words. (The prologue holds about 4 routes that play out differently.) The prologue is just an introduction to the world, characters, and you! (depending on what background you chose.)

I plan on updating it regularly, but I wanted to see if others will enjoy it as much as I am enjoying working on it.

I would also love any feedback and criticism you have in regards to the story. I’m still new to this, so I’m open to suggestions.

Thank you

Demo link removed at request of author.

[Shinkansen99]

Interesting game so far. I liked the choice of cyber sentinel I don’t think I’ve seen an anti hacker job in games before. Looking forward for more ^^

[Frankex_2272]

It’s always interesting to try cyberpunk with a bit of heist. From what was just read in your description.

[JBento]

Sweet, cyberpunk.

typos and remarks - spoilers within (duh)

“let it burn to the ground” - you have it correct in the post here, should’ve copy-pasted. ;p

“these streets”, “well-known”

“tech expertise” is singular, and thus “is in high demand”

“one of our members has gone rogue”, because who has gone rogue is “one”, not “members”. I’m awarding you 10 points for not typo’ing it into “rouge”.

Alexei, Alexei, don’t tell me how to do my job. If you were better than me at it, you would have done the job yourself.

That hyphen parenthetical is off. You should have a space before the hyphens, and the second hyphen shouldn’t lead to a period. If it’s the end of the sentence, leave the hyphen out; if not, no period (and start with an uncapitalised word).

“tread”, not “thread”.

As a remark, I think the fact that you can’t not fall for the malware trick could be improved. Maybe put in a line that remarks that you have no option but to check the data, and after maybe a choice there that lets you go either “you check in the data as fast as possible, so as to not give Tris a chance to pull something in meatspace” or “you decide to risk Tris pulling something in meatspace, but it’s important to be careful when checking unknown data”. Obviously, for story reasons you fail anyway (either you get the malware to the brain or Tris DOES pull something in meatspace, depending on your choice), but this might move personality sliders and give players a bit of agency in a scene that is story-needed railroading.

There’s not really enough to make a full evaluation, but my interest is piqued. Look forward to seeing more.

[TheDiamondTyrant]

We will watch your career with great interest.

Can’t give a full breakdown of my thoughts with the current content, but it’s looking like a good start.

[Kinetik]

Wow, thank you for pointing out all these typos. I will make sure to fix them. And regarding the malware choice, you make a good point. I’ll see to how I can incorporate it to improve the overall experience.

Thank you again!!

[JBento]

@Kinetik

Thank you again!!

No, thank you for sharing your work.

[geldar]

What exactly are the laws regarding force by police? It seems like a VCPD MC will never try to arrest Riven before shooting, even though Riven never attacks the MC. That’s… definitely illegal here, so I’m wondering how different VC laws are.

[Kinetik]

In the VCPD route, the MC is allowed to shoot at Riven because he has illegal cyberware implants which makes a him a threat, and VCPD officers are allowed to shoot when faced with such a situation.

Cyberware battle implants are largely only available to the Venators in VC, so anyone else seen having battle implants will be treated as a grade S threat. The chrome syndicates resort to stealing the cyberware( which they also monopolize themselves in their respective district) as a means to the thwart the power axis of the Venators and fight them off.

Ahh I hope that shed off some confusion, I will make the matter more clear in the next chapters.

[Clara_Wolfenstein]

While it is a fairly short demo I enjoy the various paths we can take. Bookmarking it

[Valixon]

Though short I enjoyed what you had and at the moment not trusting the guy lol but look forward to seeing and learning more of the story and world.

[Nexus_Knight]

[Kinetik]

Fixed it, sorry about that!

[kizzygm]

Hear me out…cyber…claws. Just saying that would cool. And im interested in reading more

[Kinetik]

I like the idea

[kizzygm]

Feel free to use it😁

[belhadj_houcine]

Nice😍

[Fenrir1]

Have you thought of adding a save system?

[Christopher_Bull]

Interesting story so far. Can’t wait for more