Hi! I am a start up writer and I impulsively wrote a very recently made super short WIP called Ouroboros. I am unsure if any other interactive game has played with the concept of a re:zero type checkpoint system along with 4th wall breaking character(s).
As I have stated; this is my first time developing an actual game. Although I have been reading COG and HG games since 2019, I am sure that compared to most passionate readers out there, those 7 years are merely the equivalent to waiting for 1 game in development. Thus, I would like to ask for any and all players to give me feedback and suggestions for improvement. Everything is appreciated. Thank you!
On a whim I played one playthrough and decided to attack attack options all the way through until the person tied us up to await the knight. Problem i found in all of that is that how could we have learned his name and all about him if we haven’t done anything yet to learn about him?
Hello! firstly, I want to thank you so much for playing my game, your opinion is very appreciated. I understand the confusion. Truth be told, I do not have a clear linear path for the story as of yet, mainly due to the complexity of the loop system. However, answering your question, the player (you) and the main character (lets call them looper for now) are separate entities inside the game, hence the apothecary referencing the player when he talks to the looper. This explains why the looper has memories that you don’t (Worry not, you will in time, learn all about the past and how EVERYTHING came to be).
As of now, I am reading on other psychological material to make the overall feel of the game contain more mystery and psychological pieces embedded.
I plan to update this game continuously, and I appreciate every player interested. Once again, thank you!
Hello! I have some feedback about the prose. However, this feedback is harsh. Please let me know if you are receptive to feedback that is not super positive. If not, no worries!
You’ve said feedback requested in the title, so I’m just going to come out and say that this is quite hard to follow as a reader. I guess it’s supposed to be very meta, but I think personally it’s a bit too much for me. There are also several points where the narrative kind of contradicted itself (The Apothocary said this was loop 0, but also that he’s been watching us for hundreds of loops, and that it changed him?).
I have some thoughts on the prose as well, but I’ll follow Will’s example and hold off until I know if it would be welcome.
Honestly want to play this but I feel like I’m gonna be unsatisfied because it’s stated to be a Short WIP so a question popped in my mind if this WIP were to gain a huge fandom and attention will you consider making it a long WIP instead of a Short one
The biggest hurdle I face as of now is my inexperience in writing and creating games. Thankfully, I consider myself to be very open-minded, thus I plan on covering this weakness by using suggestions from multiple people; this includes any harsh and in-depth criticism that any and all of you may provide. I understand this is not personal and is purely for the work itself.
Answering the apothecary’s loop inconsistencies, I do have some plot points that will be revealed in time (one of which is the player (you) and main character (playable mc) are two separate entities, which will explain some of the more criticized points to this game. All will be expounded (or revised) in time.
Sorry for the yaps, do understand I am grateful for all comments and responses.
Hello! I am open to any and all comments related to this project!
I understand that due to the nature of this being my first work much less the first iteration, there will inevitably be multiple plot holes, mistakes, and full on bad writing. I tend to be open-minded and would love any criticism, be it harsh and very in-depth. In fact, I would prefer them. I understand none of what is going to be said is personal, and purely for bettering the idea itself.
I appreciate every single reader, comment, and opinion. Thank you!
I am flattered at the idea that some of you here would love to see this game finished.
Straightforwardly, even if this game does not turn out popular, I still do plan on completing the entire story and submitting it to HG. However, the process may take a year or two. Thankfully enough, I still am a student and would find enough time to update this game consistently for players to have fun with.
Truthfully, this literature is more of a testing ground or a thought experiment for the concept of the loop system. There will be multiple changes and a lot of inconsistencies partly due to the complexity of the concept, and my lack of experience in creating a game as well as writing stories.
If all of you can find the patience to bare with my freshness, then I promise I will deliver a game to the best of my abilities.
This was great, and I’m looking forward to more! I especially like the whole meta-ness of it and the breaking of the fourth wall.
One thing you might want to change is that the option to throw the crystal is still selectable even though I didn’t have it. You might want to use a *selectable_if for the choice so that it is dimmed out and unselectable in the event that you don’t have that particular asset.
