Think of it as a stat linked to one of the two characters! Depending on how you respond to one character, one stat will go up. One character prefers you to listen and do what they say- the other prefers you trust them, but never commands you to.
It’s a BIT like a dating sim, but I hesitate to call it that because there is a “right” and “wrong” choice. The reason to choose the wrong choice is basically another side to the story, more details about the plot, and just being interesting haha.
The story, at a major point much further along, will have two major branches, depending on which character you follow. You can still get any of three endings- “True”, “Bad”, or “Neutral”- regardless of which oath you choose… at least, for now. I’ll have to see how feasible tjis is in action, but that’s how it’s currently plotted
Love this. Love. I work with young kids and I’m usually annoyed with how badly they’re portrayed in IF (7 year olds acting like they’re 4, 10 year olds like they’re 16, etc.) This is possibly the best representation I’ve seen. I can easily see the kids I work with acting and talking like this. You can tell the noble child acts immaturely for their age due to pampering, that the orphan acts more maturely thanks to their upbringing, but there’s still a simple childishness to their interactions that sounds realistic. I’m guessing they range from 8-10? The sibling maybe 7.
It’s also a unique concept. I’ve never seen an IF that relies on a paired stat that controls the ending and I really like the idea. I can’t wait to see where this goes.
Then it remains unchanged, obedience will stay at 0 cause personally just the idea of me “obeying” or anything like that already annoys me. But trust might not go all the way either cause I’m not very trusting unless I find it necessary.
Unless it’s a two way thing where it applies to both sides, like with the noble we bring up some of the rash mistakes they make and try to take charge and getting them to obeys us.
this!! i don’t work with kids, but i did help raise two of them and the children in this game act like children, i was very impressed lol. it’s very common to see a 10 year old in IF acting like they’re five or having the emotional maturity of and being as articulate as a grown adult (there is a game that particularly bugs me because of that, but i won’t mention it because not the place).
so i was very pleased to see how the kids were written!
You absolutely can do either, including neither obeying or trusting! It will tie in to which ending you get, but in the interest of customization, you could totally be neutral!
Ahhhhhhh, I could cry i actually had to go in a few times and reconsider some overly mature lines or even overly immature lines. I’m so so so happy to hear this!!
Well you did a great job! I’m a mama of two (6 and 9) and I teach elementary so if you ever do need input into kid portrayal, I’m pretty well versed in their weirdness.
@Darkovika finally got a chance to play through it and though it feels short it’s well done and I’m looking forward to seeing what you do with your idea and world. In my playthrough nothing jumped out at me as being wrong save one gender but forget the exact spot came across it. Definitely didn’t hit any errors so your all good on the coding front.
Awesome!! I can go digging for the gender mistake haha. I thought there might be at least one. I’m currently lengthening chapter 1- originally i had this idea for chapter 1 to stop there, but i’m instead going to comvine it with chapter 2- it makes more sense anyway haha. I’m also fleshing out chapter 1 a bit more, particularly the end sequence, so i’m really excited about that! I’m so glad you enjoyed!
Considering that many dating sims have “right” and “wrong” choices, I wouldn’t base the game’s classification on that. However, it is your game and you clearly know best what it is and what it isn’t.
A few thoughts about your demo:
Players usually enjoy a more immersive, dynamic approach to gender options. Instead of directly asking “When you introduce yourself to people, you might introduce yourself as…?”, maybe consider writing an actual scene in which the MC has to introduce themself to another character or is asked as what they identify. In general, however, I got the impression that your character introductions became more dynamic with the ROs.
It feels a little weird to tell us that we’re a young child and then immediately ask us if we’re a “Mr.”, “Ms.” or “Mx.” in the next choice. I’d find “boy”, “girl”, and “child” more appropriate here.
“I and my sister are the children of highly influential merchants.” / “I and my sister are orphaned, though our parents were once influential.” Would definitely phrase it in this order: “My sister and I”.
If you’re letting us customize our ROs, definitely mention their appearance somewhere or let us make choices for it (skin, hair, eye color, long/short/no hair, tattoos, etc.) later on. I don’t find it that important as long as they are children but as soon as sparks of attraction begin to fly, we should know what they look like or what we want them to look like.
Even though I generally like customization options, I must agree with the user who already commented on the RO names. If you let us freely choose them, it will be hard to discuss your game and its characters without confusion.
This is fantstic feedback, I appreciate it! Yea, those introductions are basically the unedited start of everything- a very rough introduction haha. I’ve been going through and playing CoG’s when not developing (i only vet a few hours a night on a count of my 11 month old), and I’m trying to find ways to more artfully refine it. Those intros were on my mind recently, so they’ll definitely get a wash down the line.
I realized you’re right, there are dating sims that do have right/wrong options! I guess I worried if I called it that, it’d create this expectation that the two options are both “right” and simply based off of preferences, which isn’t necessarily correct either. I’ll have to consider that more closely.
I was also playing with the idea of allowing players to FULLY customize the RO’s, but kept humming and hawing on it. I think I originally was thinking of keeping it vague so players could imagine them however without trying to narrow it down to a list of options, but I can see the draw to both.
Aww man, you had me with this first chapter!
I love the relationships you can build with the sibling and orpan, but the noble not so much.
I mean telling mc to just “do as I say”, sounds very annoyingly bossy, If had the choice, I wouldn’t be friends with a person like that.
Otherwise I like where this story is going, can’t wait for more chapters!
I love reading this haha! I wanted to create two polarizing characters, so it’s exciting to see such visceral reactions. I do have to find a way to give my noble character some redeeming qualities, which i might do as I prolong chapter one- we’ll see haha! I have it all outlined, but of course the details and execution are the hard parts XD
After two playthroughs I can confirm that this is good for a first time! I think the characters work great together, and there’s lots of good moments. If I had to give constructive criticism, it’d be that the story felt like it was rushing through things, not taking it’s time. As well, the choices were limited, though that’s something I’m sure will change over time ^-^
I also picked out the odd grammar or spelling error, but I’m aware those will be ironed out.
Overall, I’m very much looking forward to seeing how it progresses.
Thank you so much!!! I’m so glad! Yes, i think i was trying to hit the beats of my outline- as I progress, I’ll likely add in more to chapter one. I’m actually redoing the end sequence of chapter one and then adding on a whole other segment following it. I may also flesh out the bit that was the minor showdown. I do agree it feels fast- got hard after so much testing hahaha
I love reading this haha! I wanted to create two polarizing characters, so it’s exciting to see such visceral reactions. I do have to find a way to give my noble character some redeeming qualities, which i might do as I prolong chapter one- we’ll see haha! I have it all outlined, but of course the details and execution are the hard parts XD
