Trust Me, Obey Me (WIP) - 09/26/2022 CHAPTER 1 COMPLETE REWRITE- 33,900 Words of Story

This is my very first Choice game, so I am incredibly grateful to everyone who has shown interest and support for this! :smiley: Thank you so much for your comments and input!

Current Word count is 36,908 with command lines, 33,900 without.

Tumblr Link for blog updates. I update fairly often with little pieces of snippets, frustrations over goofups, snapshots of how much I’ve written. I’m not an artist, so uh… there’s little art lmao.

09/26/2022 HUGE EDIT
Chapter One for the Merchant Path has been completely pushed to 33,900 words of pure story content. Some of it is of course skippable, so it probably won’t totally FEEL like 33,900, but it sure feels that way to me lol.

I’m sure there’s going to be things that I regret or want to change later, and that’ll come with time- it’s still very much a rough draft in the scheme of things, but for the most part, all the beats I wanted to hit are there. The ending portion of chapter one will start to get a little wordier than the rest of the story, but I figuer it’s the climax and the culmination of everything.

Please let me know if you see any bugs, grammar issues, misgenderings, misnamings- all that good stuff.

Thank you for being patient, as ever.

08/20/2022 Big Chapter 1 edit:

I’ve updated Chapter one to have a lot more depth to it! This is not the last of the updates I’ll be making to Chapter 1- there’s actually going to be an extension to this arc, and I’ve included a prologue that more fluidly allows for some character creation! I haven’t yet implemented true customization, but I’ve been unable to really implement it in a way that doesn’t feel clunky, so we’ll see if and how that’ll get implemented at all. There’s also a very large choice near the end that more customizes the experience of the player- at least, I hope it does!

Trust Me, Obey Me Chapter One (09/26/2022 Update)

Genre

“Trust Me, Obey Me” is a romance/adventure/mystery story. It’s a dating sim with two romance options with customizable names and genders.

Endings

There are three endings planned. The hopeful goal is to encourage you to go back and learn more about the mystery and the characters themselves.

Story Synopsis

Start as a child, where you are acquainted with the two most important people in your life (and also your sibling, who will be your right-hand- if somewhat sassy- partner in crime) through a series of intense adventures, seen through the innocence of youth. Through your choices, grow your personality and get a taste for a potential future.

One terrible day, everything changes, and you discover something about yourself that makes you incredibly dangerous.

For ten years, you attend the College of Mages, while the world around you changes rapidly. Continue to grow your personality, and begin to grow your powers. On your return, discover what truth lies behind the whispers that reach even the sequestered walls of the Mage’s College of stolen Goldorian Treasure and a war that is about to break out between the Goldoria and your home country of Enestra.

Find out just how much your friends have changed while you were gone. Find love, perhaps. If you can find the treasures, perhaps you can even avoid war…

Mechanics

Trust and Obedience: There is a right and a wrong path- and a way to see the whole story. What ending you get depends entirely on who you believe, when it comes to the great mystery of the Goldorian Treasure Fleet. These two variables control the ending you can get. You may wonder why they’re not opposing variables- for now, after careful consideration, I didn’t like the idea that you could increase a value with one character and it would decrease the value with the other character. It didn’t seem to make sense, at least story-wise.

Personality Traits: In the first two/three chapters, these won’t have much of an affect on the story. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to increase these stats based on your interests, and there will NEVER be a punishment for raising or dropping them based on your fancy. Your reward will be tailored conversations, later, based on the higher stats that your character has- meaning entire conversations can play out differently depending on your personality.

Magic: You are an Overcharged Elemental Mage, possessing unimaginable power that your body can barely control. Only through the use of a Focus can you cast magic at all, without blowing up entire cities… and yourself. Similarly to your personality traits, you can increase whatever element you are most interested in seeing, and entire battles will play out different depending on what element you choose. There is no wrong answer with this. The ending of the game will play out depending on which elements you increase the most.

Fighting: There are times when you’re unable to use magic. You’ll have to choose a specialization, then, for how you defend yourself- you can’t always count on your friends to save you!

"Customization

As there are basically three other characters that matter besides your own character, all three are customizable, from names to genders. Their personalities are set in stone, but I’ll refer to them as “Noble”, “Orphan”, and “Sibling”, to avoid spoilers.

  • Choose your gender from Male, Female, and Non-binary
  • Choose the gender of the two “love interest” characters and your sibling
  • Freely grow your character’s personality, to enjoy the fruits in later chapters with customized dialogue and actions based on your traits
  • Freely choose elemental magic to focus on, between Fire, Water, Earth, and Air- there are no wrong answers.
  • Choose between one of three fighting attributes in situations where magic is not possible: Melee, Sword, and Flintlock Pistol

Characters
(All three main side characters can be fully customized)

Noble

The only child of the Baron and Baroness of Cordona, this individual is very proud and protective of people they deem most important to them. They remind you a great deal of one of your father’s stallions.

Orphan

A serious individual who spent most of their childhood on the streets, as a result of the plague, Mage Rot, which was eradicated before the start of the story. They possess one exceptionally bizarre trait- a pair of violet eyes, though this doesn’t seem to indicate an affinity for magic at all. What it does mean is a mystery.

Sibling

Your right-hand partner in crime, by your side until the end. Thick as thieves, they’ll support you in almost everything you do. Hopefully you don’t have to find out what that limit might be, if it exists at all…

The title might change- I know it makes one think immediately of a uh… “spicy” story, but the temporary title for now is Trust Me, Obey Me. If I change the title, I’ll reference the original one for a little bit in the title of this thread. I may not- despite the implications, I feel like it fits perfectly the fact that the two most important variables in the game are “Trust” and “Obedience”!

If you notice any inconsistencies in the story, any accidental misgenders, any accidental wrong names, please let me know! I’d also love to hear your opinions, as well! I don’t currently have any social media set up for this, so this is basically the only place to talk about it. I may change this later.

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Oh I adore this WIP, the interactions between the children are so cute! I can’t wait for chapter 2

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Enjoyable, but I do find it a little lackluster in choices not much variation. But other than that I’ll have to play it again to get a good feel for it, since it did feel a little bit quick paced. But yeah… that’s my 2 cents for now. But do keep up the good work :kissing_heart:

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I have not read it yet but I recall the blurb from the interest thread so congrats on getting the start of this out there. :smiley: When get a chance I will definitely be reading through it and will try to give my thoughts on it

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@Darkovika how do you set the orphan route? cause when you get to the part where it asks if you have siblings it doesnt show that you dont want a sibling.

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I’m not the author but it says in the game that the orphan route isn’t written yet. Also I think the Mc will have a sibling regardless.

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oh ok thanks. i must have missed it. :sweat_smile:

Ahhhh, thank you so much!!! :sob:

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Thank you for the input! I’ll certainly give that somw thought- I was considering that myself after a round of editing, but wasn’g sure if I was just going off too much editing and being too critical.

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Ah, the orphan route is going to be written next, I ended up not liking how I’d set it up. Currently the sibling isn’t actually an option- they’re integral to plot later. Customization comes down to setting up their name and gender, but they’re important!

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You’ve just lost all ‘Obey Me’ fans :rofl: I suggest changing the title, it will get you an audience of people looking for smut and leaving disappointed if that’s not your intention. Something like ‘Trust and Obedience’? Nah, that still sounds bdsm-y.
Something that communicates that this is more of a young adult coming-of-age story. Maybe ‘Treasures of Goldorian’?

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Ikniw what you mean :sob: brlieve it or not, I’ e been humming and hawing over it for weeks. I mainly wemt for that because it’s the two main variables that control the game’s endingw and are SUPER centra to the plot, but i’m trying to think of alternatives :sob::sob: sucks when something so perfect is so intertwined with an existing concept lmao.

I could try to find another word for obedience, maybe? Imll have to keep thinking

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I like the story and am looking forward to how it’ll play out. Will you be adding the lightning element? I always focus on speed rather than strength. If you don’t then i’ll go with the wind element.

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Yeah you make a good point. Someone might ask why isn’t this in the adult section haha

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This seems like a fun start. I note that I can choose to call all four characters by the same name. Would it make sense to have the three non-MC characters have similar suggested names, so that it’s more obvious who commenters are talking about? (It’s pretty close for poor friend, whose names all start with V, but sibling and rich friend have suggested names all over the alphabet.)

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Oh, please don’t be to critical on yourself… or the story! It’s great so far really,… the pace was just a littleonly a little fast, that’s all. (Considering we start young its kinda ok…?)

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That’s a really good point!! I didn’t even think of the whole name issue. I’ll pop some if checks so that can’t happen. I can also give the Other characters similar names! I didn’t have too much reasoning behind them, just kind of sat and waited for inspiration haha! Thank you!

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No, i completely agree! I sat thinking about it, and I do think there’s a bit more I can do for that end sequence in particular. I got very excited about hitti g the story beats and then getting all the bugs haha, but now’s the fun part- fleshing it out XDD i’m also going to use the newly started orphan route to really really play with more impactful choices, even if they’re more designed for personality influences- something to give a little more impact for your choices.

The most will be later, after the characters grow up- at that point, or maybe even sooner, i intend the player’s choices to be reflected in completely customized responses or flavor text and slightly fewer decisions. It’ll be tough to get just right :rofl::rofl: i really appreciate you!

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So, what exactly is the trust/obedience stat gonna be like?
Is it just how much we feel that with the corresponding character?
Is it how we’ll act by default when dealing with people?
Cause unless, they go up on their own, my obedience stat will most likely remain at 0.

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I didn’t plan to add specifically light ing as an element BUT I think i planned to make it a prt of the Air element- i don’t know why, but those two are always intrinsically linked in my head haha

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