The Wayhaven Chronicles: Book Two (WIP)

I see you saved me the time to answer haha.

As for the two months apart, I also assume that there is burocratic stuff to put in order before MC can join. On last book, MC was a human civilian in need of protection, but for this game, they needed to give them clearance to access more stuff and become part of the agency. And if Wayhaven is anything like the real world, burocracy takes a long time.

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Which is fine! Both of those are perfectly reasonable explanations and they’re what I assume Sera was going for. I’m not commenting on the quality of the reason behind the gap, my comment was about how said reason is presented in game. Right now it feels like there is… basically no explanation at all, which feels very odd to me given how close MC was getting to UB right before the end of book one and how close they are shown to be now at the start of book 2. Even a single throw-away line about how MC was told not to get in contact with UB after they left the hospital because [whatever reason Sera has in mind] would be fine! As long as there is an acknowledgement of the why and the how of the break in contact, as right now it kind of seems like UB just disappeared, which I assume is not the intended way of reading the scene

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Well, these are just the first three chapters and the meeting with UB was pretty brief. We might get an explaination later, ya know?

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Actual footage of Unit Bravo and the MC since book 1

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And as I also mentioned in my original comment, I’d be very happy if that turns out to be the case! I by no means like questioning Sera’s work, but as these kinds of WIP threads are, amongst other things, meant for feedback, it seemed only prudent to give said feedback. (which I might do more later in a more detailed post when I’ve had a chance to reread everything and really get my thoughts in order, but as this stood out to me, well, no time like the present)

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Progress Update—27/July/2018

(I know I literally just released the demo yesterday, but I like to keep on top of progress reports anyway :joy: )

Well, this week was a hectic one :smiley:

Most of my time was spent getting the demo ready for release!

Today I will be spending my time editing in any errors people have managed to catch and some of the feedback I’ve gotten, though these edits won’t be added into the demo until the full demo is released (Chapter 6) :wink:

But I’m hoping that means I can get back to writing on Chapter 4 starting next week and pushing ahead on what’s to come, hehe :smiley:

Hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic weekend! :slight_smile:

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Ahhh the demo was so GOOD!!

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Everytime I go through love triangle scenes.

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Choosing Nate or Adam and hurting the other is torture :sob:

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Eventually no romancers will probably get a path involving investigating sewers or something equally punishing for disobeying the romantic theme I’m guessing.

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gasp Water temple.

MC: “…the fuck?”

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I can’t tell if you’re joking or serious, but quite frankly the way you keep saying that Sera will punish you for choosing the no-romance path is irritating and is rather insulting to Sera.

She wants to deliver a great game that everyone will enjoy, including the people who choose not to romance anyone in Unit Bravo. Romancing Unit Bravo happens to be a major conceit of the game, yes, but it’s called the Wayhaven Chronicles not the Unit Bravo Chronicles. Even if you don’t romance anyone, she wants you to be able to enjoy the game for what it is, she wants Wayhaven, the town, to be a haven from the things you don’t like in life, but the way you talk about it just seems to throw it back in her face and I do not appreciate that at all.

You don’t have to romance Unit Bravo, and yes, you will get comparatively less content, but you will still get the same compelling story as everyone else simply without a romantic subplot. There is no punishment, no retribution, for not romancing anyone, that’s not the point of the game. The point of the game is to enjoy it but you never talk about it like you enjoy it, and it aggravates me that you continue to come on here seemingly to spread negativity about the game and about Sera.

I’m sorry I’ve dragged the conversation in this direction, but I’m just very, very irritated right now, and I apologize for that.

Regardless, this is in the work-in-progress thread. If you’re not going to provide any feedback, at least take your comments to the general discussion thread so that we can stay as on topic as possible and help Sera make the best game possible.

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I completely agree.
This is Sera’s story to tell. Naturally, she has certain expectations of how this story is to be enjoyed.
Throughout this whole process, she’s been incredibly accommodating towards different play styles and receptive towards constructive criticisms. However, the difference between constructive criticism, and, well, whatever this is, is that the former provides her a direction to work towards.

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I see Takashi I feel loved :relaxed:

100% agree, sometimes the forum gets “slightly” carried away when talking about another authors’ work, thats all I have to say about it

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Guys, please, I think most of us agree with what impeccably-stressed said, but also, please, take any more of this conversation, or anything non related to book 2 and feedback to the other thread.

Sera is really exited with this project (and who wouldn’t?), so let’s try to keep at least this WIP as negative-free as we can :D. I’m sure no one wants her to come back here and find this has gone down an argument.

With this said, I step out now from this, following my own advice :joy:

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Nit-picky grammar note: despite the popular use of it by some teachers, commas are not actually the places you pause to take a breath. There are pretty specific grammatical rules about comma usage (one summary that seems to hit most of them can be found here), and “where you breathe” is not among them. There is a missing comma in that sentence, but it is near the end and wouldn’t really help with your breathing if you’re relying on commas to pause for breath.

Fixed sentence:

The only out of place items are my remnants of what I used to make breakfast peeking through the doorway as they sit on the countertop in the kitchen, which adjoins to the living room.

This reflects the missing comma (which is an appositive), and I corrected a minor pluralization agreement issue. If the sentence says “peeking through the doorway as it sits”, as currently written, then “it” agrees with “doorway”, the singular object, and the sentence says “peeking through the doorway as the doorway sits on the countertop”, which doesn’t make sense. By making it read “peeking through the doorway as they sit”, it now refers to the items, plural, and the sentence says, “peeking through the doorway as the items sit on the countertop”.

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:smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk::smirk: yesssssssss thank god its here! I’ve been bored replaying all the games I already have, it’s finally here!!! Yayayayay

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I love the demo and I really don’t see any grammar errors.
But there was some parts that I was a little bothered by but these are mostly nit picks…
(i’m sorry if this come off as rude.)

Summary

-There was really no explanation on why UB left the detective for two months.
-While all the other ro’s had their talk about how they failed to protect the mc, M was the only who didn’t have this scene.
-In the warehouse scene with ub I didn’t know who was talking(aside from when m’s the ro) so I was confused on why there was a flirting choice in the choice option.
-I’ve noticed that flirting makes you miss out on somethings.
-There wasn’t an none or all option when choosing who you became the most friendly with.
-When choosing people as a skill first you get an grayed out option if you try to pick it again when asked about a secondary skill.

These the only things I could think of and maybe I didn’t read it from word to word.but these are just somethings I’ve noticed and confused about(so I hope you could explain it.)(but I do love the fact that the non bold flirting option feels more like “well this is awkward” than lots of stuttering and blushing.)

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Book 2 yeah here I come Morgan! :kissing_closed_eyes:

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that’s because M still doesn’t care (or at least that’s what M thinks!) for the detective. they only care about getting in the detective’s pants. M’s feelings will only come out in later books.

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