Agreeing with/piggybacking off of @Malvastor & @violet, when picking “dark” as a skin tone, it sounds cringey when you say that having dark skin “helps me blend in with the darkness quite well”…
I kinda get how you were approaching the humor, but it comes off as a little tacky. I think there’s a lot of potential here though! It’s just important to recognize that your method of inclusiveness may not have the effect you intended.
Well, now, I’m deciding between either changing the flavour text, or, just removing it altogether. If you have some ideas for jokes that could work, I’m all ears. Thanks for the feedback!
No, they aren’t. I have ideas for some things, but, that’s too spoilery, so, sorry. But,one thing to remember, is that the main thing that I wanted people to understand is that I am a sucker for winning an unwinnable situation, which is why the MC is given this disadvantage.
winning a no win situation, kirk in star treks the kobayashi maru
to win a unwinnable situation you have to cheat somehow kirk hack the system to become winnable.
to truly be a unwinnable situation its a lose lose there is no chance to win. (some count catastrophic pyric victory as a win wich it isnt, but its not a true no win)
in this i was joking that the mc gets reality manipulation or is insane and breaks the forth wall and reprograms the games code to have cartoonish clown physics or something. just a silly comment on unwinnable scenarios.
Good start, I love twists on classic superhero genres. You have a fun tone! I was wondering when you’re selecting who you’re attracted to if you thought about adding an option saying you’re not really attracted to anyone/ it’s not on your mind. Also don’t call it a shitty ass story! Self deprecating humor just makes the reader feel bad, in my opinion at least. Excited to see where this goes.
Sorry for the self deprecation, I’ll try to be more respectful towards myself.
As for the sexuality stuff, I don’t think I’ll add something for being ace, since, at this point, with everything that I’ve coded in, it would be too much work to do so. However, whenever you meet with the ROs, you have options to either flirt, or, you can avoid flirting, too.
I wanted the romance to be a big part of the story, but, I wasn’t confident in my ability to write the same story without a romance.
If by “dirty” you mean fighting unfairly, then yes, you can do a lot of things to exploit your enemies. My original plan was to have a choice between acrobatics, smarts, and strength, but, I figured that I only actually enjoyed writing for the options related to smarts, and, I couldn’t think of a valid reason why someone with a physical disadvantage wouldn’t be mentally powerful.
But yeah, for the most part, you can just try to make things unfair for the villains.
Does this story have the properties of rubber and gum🙃
If you’re adding a power let it be weak at first and you’d have to train it an unlock new levels of it which then make it op