The Noir Curse (WIP) (Some feedback?)

young-adult-fiction
high-fantasy
gender-choice

#5

It’s really up to you! If you want to focus on romance in your game you should definitely have more than one. The Wayhaven Chronicles has four LIs, Bright Eyes, Black Blood has three, and there are some, like Seven Heirs that have a ton.

You should do what feels natural to you and your story :slight_smile:


#6

Alrighty! For now I’ll stick to four since romance is supposed to be a big part of the game


#7

I feel like four is a good number. Big enough to have some variety and small enough that they can be well developed. I would much rather play a game with one really good romance than one with ten bad ones.


#8

I really enjoyed the story so far and can not wait to see where it goes.

As for the backstory;

You could have it as a prologue and make it as if the MC is reading up on the subject to prepare for being chosen.

This could also give you a chance to make it a choice for the reader if they wish skip the backstory


#9

So I have a question, I had made this prologue for this plot a while ago but I wasn’t sure if you could start with something from someone else’s POV.

It was a prologue I made from the Night Gods POV but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to add it at the beginning.


#10

Other points of view can be really interesting and done well. Wayhaven Chronicles, which I linked above has some scenes like that, as does The Shadow Society.

I really recommend looking into the last one actually because it has a few similarities in concept to your game, and it could be interesting and/or helpful to check it out.


#11

I’ll add that prologue I was thinking of and see how it goes! I’ll let you guys know when i do so you can give me a little feedback about it xD

Hmm i tried clicking on it but it just sends me back to this thread


#12

Link is fixed now, and here it is too!


#13

I’ll make sure to check it out thank you!


#14

I think if it appears in the prologue, it should be fine! Some games do that too. You can upload it first and decide whether or not to keep it in depending on the feedback you receive! :slight_smile:


#15

I’ll do that thank you!


#16

When I’m at the part where the door of the night place open it won’t let me get to the next page.


#17

@Bluewolf - that’s the end of the demo.

@juniper - if you want to “fix” that, use the *finish command at the end of the scene. It’ll take the player to the endgame scene, so there won’t be a bug/any confusion. You can move the command as you go.


#18

I’m definitely intrigued. I look forward to reading more =)


#19

Interesting start to the game!

I noticed that some choices (in the same block) have stat increases and others not. This could be a bit punishing for people who want to roleplay as a certain type of character. Like playing one way gives you a boost to strength or magic, but playing another way doesn’t give you a boost at all.

Another thing I saw was that you used *sm_init mygame to add the save system to your game, but “mygame” should be named something unique.

Otherwise all games that use that variable (of which there are a few, as of now) practically share the save system with each other (basically meaning that you have to share the save slots between all games that use “mygame” as a variable).

All in all it’s a promising start, though! :slight_smile:


#20


#21

@Bluewolf like @sviyagin was saying I’ve only made one chapter up until now, but I’ll fix that and add the *ending so there’s no confusion

I had done that on purpose, but in all honesty I’m still tweaking around with the variables, to see if the percents don’t pass the limits or something. But the variables I’ve placed up until now are not definitive.

I also added some variables in some choices to increase the percent in someone’s relationship. Was that a good idea? According to the choices you made, your relationship status would increase with some characters.

I’ve had so much trouble trying to figure out how to place that save option so i wasn’t sure if i had done it write :joy: I didn’t know you could change ‘mygame’. Could i change it to ‘noircurse’ and would it still work?

@DontJudge I’ve only made one chapter up until now, but I’ll have to add *ending so there won’t be any confusion.


#22

Yeah, that’s completely fine imo. I think most games here handle relationship changes that way. Makes sense to increase the relationship with a character when you choose something they like and decrease it when you do something they dislike.

If they they have knowledge of the choice or are present when it’s made, anyway. Personally, I don’t really like relationship changes on a choice the character has no way of knowing about. Not that I saw it in your game so far, I think.

But that’s just my preference. Some people are completely fine with it. Do what you’Re more comfortable with/think fits better.

Also sorry for the monologue haha

It should work? I’ve never coded in ChoiceScript (or used the save plugin) myself lmao

Is the startup the only place where “mygame” is defined? If so, then it should just work if you change it to “noircurse”. I think.


#23

Totally fine. I’ll see what I’ll do in the end anyways. Nothing is set in stone right now xD

Also I’ll check out if i can change that in the save in plugin :joy:


#24

I updated the first chapter and added a small prologue, hoping that it would help to give some more background context of the land and its history, and I also added another scene where you can choose the background of the main character.

Tell me guys what you think! Is that better?

The first chapter currently has 34,302 characters including coding and 6,250 words. Is that a good ammount? Is it too long or too short?