The Marked (WIP)

Hi, everyone! This is my first time posting here. I started on a game titled The Marked. It’s fantasy, romance and a touch of political intrigue. I’m also still working on my coding, so if you run into any problems please let me know!

Description:

Those Marked with the gifts of a God are blessed with the power to alter the world around them, yet cursed to follow a predetermined path. As one of the Marked, your fate has been set since the day you were born.

Will you stay the course… or risk all to create your own destiny?

Features:

  • A fantastical, character-driven story that expands from youth to adulthood.
  • Customizable MC.
  • Abilities that are determined by your choices and personality.
  • Three romance options (M, F, and gender choosable).
Romance Options

Leon/Lyra Welling

L’s friendly demeanor makes friends of near all who meet them. Level headed and reasonable, they are quick to intervene and alleviate tense situations. And though they may not always express it, their dark, cerulean gaze sees much.

Saria Trivelyn

Trapped in an eternal dilemma within herself, Saria’s words and actions may not always align. She struggles with the unseen pressures of duty and perfection.

Onas Venali

The experiences of his youth have deeply warped the way Onas views the world. His actions are not led in pursuit of enjoyment or happiness, but in furtherance of a goal no one but himself is privy to.

Currently the word count is at 41,417, chapters 1-3. Updates may be slow, but I’m dedicated!

Play the demo here: https://dashingdon.com/go/9695

I’ll try my best to leave frequent updates here: peonyb.tumblr.com

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Is there romance in this too? If so, would you be able to put in RO’s descriptions? Love what you got so far thought. Keep up the good work, brother.

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Thank you! Yes, there is romance. I somehow completely forgot to add it in the initial post, but I’ll do that soon.

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I like when WIPs and other stories let us be an introvert MC! Good luck with your work!

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Sounds interesting

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I really like it so far and I’m excited to see where your story goes next I’m really interested in this whole marked magic system going on and I’m already excited for some more lore I hope the best for you and this project.

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I must admit, part with the eye color got me googling (so far love the rest)

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Really like the concept of the story so far. With the dream coming on from some time, would have to think that we are indeed marked. But for some reason it has not awaken just of yet. But the sleeper will awaken.

Sorry couldn’t help myself.

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Looking forward to seeing what comes next :smiley:

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It’s quite interesting and very very very aesthetic!

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Hello! This is a promising beginning to a fantasy WiP. I must admit that I was slightly unclear as to Mc’s age after waking up post-dream; I assumed they were just a few years short of their dream-self, and upon waking up, judging by the way their parents spoke to them, I assumed they were somewhere in their pre-teens. However, neither seems to have been the case! You might want to reconsider the way MC’s behaviour, as well as how others (especially parents and classmates) interact with them, represent their age to make young adulthood/late teens more evident.

Also… the very final choice in the demo left every option non-selectable except asking my parents outright about MC’s mark. I chose to remain quiet and out of the way during Onas and the Professor’s conversation, as well as the Reserved background… it seems incredibly unlikely to me that my MC would be so blunt. Why was this the only option? Is there some background requirement or reasoning?

Good luck with the writing process. :white_flower:

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So far the concept is interesting. I liked how the descriptions for character customization were different from what would be considered basic choices IFs give you. Look forward to seeing the plot shape up and where you intend to go with it.

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Noice… short but noice. Waiting for more.

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Sounds quite interesting. I’ll be sure to read it tonight.

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Thank you for your comments, everyone!

I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m very eager to add more worldbuilding bits to the story, I’m currently trying not to overwhelm with too much at once, haha.

I may have had too much fun with that part (=

And very soon!

Thank you for your comment! Honestly, the MC’s age has fluctuated a lot over time to better fit the storyline. I’ve made changes, but I know there is still some text that doesn’t quite fit, which likely led to your confusion. I’m sorry about that! I’ll go back through and make more changes.

So for this part, I intentionally made the other options non-selectable as the routes are not finished. Generally, your personality will affect the tone your MC takes when either responding or reacting to situations. But I still want to have the option for say, reserved MCs, to be able to speak up when they either feel comfortable in doing so, or strongly about a topic. This isn’t forced, it will always be optional, but it does allow you to play your MC however you like. However in this situation, I just haven’t written the other options yet (it’ll be included in the next update)!

I’m happy you liked it! I was worried that it was going to be confusing to read.

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@Peonyb This is great! I like it. Though I just feel that each chapter is a bit short. I dont know maybe it’s just me and I’m over thinking it. Other than that keep it up XD.

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Hello and welcome to the forums!

typos and such


You stumble.


Classmates who listen


My mc is male, a gender issue saying “herself”

As for the premise, I really like it. Although it’s a type of classic fiction cog, it’s quite niche and differentiation based on strength/magic/int is something what makes this unique for me.
The immersion and pacing were also to my liking, as well as the neat and categorised stat screen and chapter headers.

Questions -

  1. It’s apparent there’s more going on behind the scenes with the Mark of Intelligence than the othr two. Will the story have a different arc altogether for intelligence, than the other two Marks ?
  2. does having high piety grant us divine blessing or anything of that sort when we’re engaged in fights or when we’re in need of help?
  3. do people possessing Marks of strength are only able to express their magic through extraordinary feats of physical prowess ?

Minor nitpicks-
The family is financially compromised. Yet, we’re able to afford the school where even the food costs money. Now, it’s quite possible for the parents to save up/use their reserves to pay for our future development, but the way our poverty is displayed makes it hard to believe that we can afford such a costly education.

Good luck with the story. I’ll be keeping an eye on it🍻

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@Paradox1 I actually have the start of a theory on your nitpick lol but it’s a bit to early in the story for me to fully volcalize it.

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Oh, no it’s not just you! They’re definitely short, haha. I mainly did it for organizational purposes for myself. I’ll either change this later, or the game will just be made up of a bunch of mini chapters.

Firstly, thank you so much for the welcome! Yes, though Prodigies are rare, they few that you meet can have a substantial impact on the storyline, depending on your choices.

If your MC is particularly devout, then they can be granted some (but not all) of the magics wielded by light Affinities, such as healing.

Guardian magic is internal, but they have the ability to transmit it through touch. So, depending on their Affinity, they can either alter themselves physically or directly affect anything they touch from the inside out so long as it remains in contact with them.

I don’t want to say much, but there is a reason for this!

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Gotta say, this has really caught my eye and I am definitely going to be checking this out in between college work and writing. I absolutely love the idea of this premise though, so keep up the great work!

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