Update:
First off, I noticed something.
Was this intentional?
I’m not entirely sure what’s going on in these last few sentences. Where did that crash come from?
I think it’s “an ample amount of”. This is during the fair, btw.
This is soon after. Why exactly does she suspect we’ll try to kill our father?
I know this is meant to be like, over a few weeks or something, but I immediately got the mental image of him chugging wine straight from the barrel, surrounded by 24 empty casks laying on the floor like discarded beer cans.
If I’m reading this right, it should be “The other reason fire signals didn’t work”.
I think we’ll need a reference for this. I can’t remember all of this.
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!
Sorry, couldn’t help it. Funnily enough, “Night Hunter” reminds me of “the Night Haunter”, which is the title of Konrad Curze, who is the founder of the Night Lords Chaos Space Marines legion in Warhammer 40K. He’s basically an evil Bat Man. I bring it up because he’s my favorite character but also because he also got visions from the future of bad stuff that was going to happen. Sorry for the nerd moment but I’ve been dying to bring that up.
I have to wonder if it would make more sense to have one switch deploy all of the spikes. If I’m reading it right, the spikes deploy after you stab, so pressing 3 switches would be time consuming, you’d risk the spear falling out or getting attacked from behind.
I don’t remember a Ymir being mentioned before, unless I missed something.
This is brilliant. A lot of people don’t know that Humpty Dumpty is the name of a cannon that fell off a wall.
Should be “would have been crushed.”
Question mark here.
I believe it should be 8 days.
Because the caps lock key was broken when they wrote the name.
Should be “stable hand in charge”.
I recommend something stronger in place of “goodness”. Maybe “for God’s sake” or the local equivalent. “For goodness sake” makes her sound more restrained and proper than the rest of her dialogue.