It’s all good, thank you! That’s high praise considering the genre.
I just finished reading Between Two Fires by Christopher Buehlman, and the synopsis brought me right back to that kind of world setting. Haven’t gotten into the demo soon but it already sounds promising
Interesting, I hope you enjoy the game when you do read!
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i want more 
the update was horrifying btw
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Thank you! Working on getting y’all more! 
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goddamn, i thought the story was dark enough already but chapter 2 sent us straight into samuel h young territory. almost made me physically throw up when sue ate your baby sister and there was nothing you could do about it. dunno bout mc but i would have signed the devils contract right away on the first encounter if as an added condition he let me undo that. but alas mc only agreed when it came down to their own life, ill bet the selfish decision and survival guilt will haunt them for the rest of their life and beyond.
what i especially liked is the juxtaposition between innocent woman being branded witches and killed which seems to be setting up a narrative that witch hunters are the real menace and even real witches might be misunderstood good guys…then in chapter 2 we see what real witches do and think maybe the paranoid lynchers weren’t so unreasonable after all. tho i doubt a bunch of rocks could keep a shapeshifting nigh immortal beast woman down. speaking of which, i wonder if shes still alive and if we might get a chance to drag her into the deepest pit of hell ourself with our good buddy satan’s help
as for mcs mom i get the feeling she communed with pagan stuff to save mcs life from sickness or something as a baby and then she tried to weasel out of killing her husband to fulfill her end of the deal which lead to sue coming after her and her family. maybe well see more details in the only child route
fantastic dark story so far, cant wait to see what other horrors you can cook up for us
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You’re tracking on a lot of what’s going on!
The MC is definitely haunted by the experiences faced in chapter 2, and while they won’t see it that way, I personally feel like they did all they could as a 12-year-old facing those obstacles.
Sue is a menace in that chapter, and while I can’t promise any future actions, she is very much alive at the end of the chapter.
For MC’s mom, I can’t provide any hints on what exactly she was up to, but you’ve connected significant dots, and the only-child route should absolutely give you a clearer picture!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, and I’ll keep trying my best!
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Given how the devil called the patron of sue a pagan devil and not someone under him, either him saying that and saving the MC is just a trick, or the Christian devil might be either a missunderstood character, or an evil person who does cause chaos that has a soft spot for children
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Also calling sue patron a pagan devil, makes me believe that other religions exist and have authority, or something similar
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Have I posted the fanart here? No?
I made this a while ago.
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@Random_Person I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to say that Satan in TMOTD is manipulative, given the timing of when he first offers the contract. As for the other entities, you’ll have to see as chapters are released!
@PaperCrease Omg not the pork chops! 
Lol, thanks again for the fanart!!
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That backstory was so chilling. I’m hooked.
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yeah i noticed he waited until abijah was already dead before waking mc up right afterwards. as if he was watching the whole time with a bucket of popcorn
kinda wonder why he targeted mc specifically for a contract instead of going after their equally impressionable siblings tho, even letting a lowly witch and her pagan lowercase d devil claim another potential soul first. maybe mommy got the attention of more than one devil for what she believed is best for her baby?
luckily next time we meet well have known her moveset, gotten our stats up by growing up and maybe even have satanic powers at our disposal. she’s gonna have a bad time.
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i just finished reading the update now and this is so peak. what you have here is just amazing i love it bro. tbh this should be pinned at the top of the forum so more ppl can also love it. My pc did everything right. He obeyed his parents, he was devout, he loved his siblings. He tried to save his siblings, he denied satan, he tried to save his parents, he tried to kill the witch, and he only succeeded in saving himself by pleading with satan when nothing else worked. All of that on his 13th birthday. I don’t regret bookmarking this if
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Ah, thank you! It looks like your playstyle has changed since the last time you commented lol, but it be like that!
I am super pleased with the positive reception, and hopefully as I add more content, this direction will continue!
Also, letting everyone know to expect a small update soon covering some prose, grammar, and minor coding issues! The next content drop will happen later, once I have a good chunk written and ready to go.
Edit: Did I say minor fix? A whole stat check wasn’t working properly and its taken hours of work so I now declare its a significant coding issue. The fix is on the way though!
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Fix is dropped! Sorry for the long wait after the content release, but all stat checks should be working and prose should be more polished! Thanks for reading yall.
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Oh I love this setting. Oh this is exactly my kind of story. Oh hell yeah. First and foremost, welcome back to school! That’s super cool and I hope everything is going well.
My feedback is a bit big but don’t worry, it’s just that I’m a big yapper and I like giving as much as possible, even for things I enjoyed (and spoiler, but oh I really loved this story). I took my notes as a series of relatively chaotic bullet points, so I hope it won’t be too hard to follow. Also, I usually start with a relatively blind playthrough and then a few others with some codediving to have a review as complete as possible.
CHAPTER 1
- I think the Tumblr link is broken
- When I saw no one called Mercy I knew I had to pick that name, as the most Thanksgiving Core name I can think of, and then I played Malleus Maleficarum by Kiki Rockwell on repeat as I pressed start
- About names, when I saw Thomasin in the suggestions I couldn’t help but grin. Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?
- The chapter names are 10/10, I recognize almost all of them and they give the best American Gothic vibes as a playlist
- Content Warning: I would add Violence against children, considering, well, you know.
It’s a common trigger I would understand some people would specifically want to avoid. - Content Warning 2: “and satanic elements” hell yeahhhh
- Just the title cards are super evocative. I feel like the movie’s about to start and I slowly start eating my popcorn. I can hear a guy cough in the alley behind me. The only light is the glow of the EXIT sign. The strong smell of butter is mixed with the faint smell of feet. My life is about to change forever
- The entire intro is super strong and brutal, as people mentioned above. We know exactly what the world is about, what the story will weave through, what the themes are. I found that a reread after Chapter 2 is incredibly interesting (read: heartbreaking as hell). Jesus LEFT this world lmao
- As much as the locations are evocative enough, I think there’s a slight lack of character descriptions (except for Ash, actually)? For example, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was wearing most of the times (I admit I pictured the classic Salem Witch black and white dress with wide collar, just for the vibes), but then people mistake me for a nun, but then I don’t seem to be wearing the full habit since nothing seems to be covering my head? Same thing with Jude, where I know the color of their eyes (bright blue to Ash’s fire, heh— I see what you did here), but not how old they are, or what the color of their hair is, or if Judah is sporting a sexy sexy tonsure. It’s nothing dramatic yet, but at least the most important characters in chapter 1 would benefit from a line or two of visual descriptions, I think.
- I’m a trans woman myself and am really glad the option exists, although I didn’t end up picking it (my bald daughter was suffering enough, I decided before making it worse). I’ll say that the dysphoria choice comes up a little late in the book and might be a bit frustrating for some; say I’d want to play a t-girl like myself and in the opening, I only saw Man and Woman, not knowing an option for trans characters will come up in chapter 2. I’d obviously end up picking Woman and just headcanon it, but then arriving at chapter 2, I see the dysphoria value available, but if I pick it, I’m gonna play a trans man and not a trans woman. I feel like it would be an easy fix to set up right away, with an option like “I realized I was a [gender] a few months before my thirteenth birthday”, which would also make for great foreshadowing. Chekov’s Gender if you will.
- Bald Insecurity I’m coming back to you when we get to chapter 2… Really interesting option in any case, although I feel like we could get hair texture out of the way at the same time as hair color? (and not keep a value at Unknown in the stats sheet)
- I think Chapter One is a bit too early for the faith_check variable as is. I peeked at the code and the absolute maximum Acceptance possible to get is 58, iirc? I think Defiance might juuuuust make the 60 cut with one or two small branches that allow for more, but that’s it. It’s kind of sad to miss out on the customized text because of it, since it will immediately default to Balanced when that early in the text (my very quiet bald daughter was suddenly much more flippant than I expected when someone bumped into her shoulder), with only two +2 choices available when the first faith_check appears. I think that could be an easy fix by increasing the +2s to a +4 or +5, at least the early bonuses. The other option I can think of could be to remove the faith_checks and change for bonuses, but that would imply changing the modular narration and I think that’d be sad, as I quite like the idea.
- I think it would be cool to have an option to back away and change our mind when going to the bread line, considering the saints’ reaction if we go to them, where we’d turn around to the “you can eat when you get back” route. My girl wanted to get a feel for the bread line vibe and it turned out to be rancid
- The scene where we choose our swearing type is adorable and makes the MC much more endearing, I loved the idea. It looks like they’re supposed to influence stats though, and they don’t! It’s not dramatic, but I did feel like Religious Swears would give a +2 Defiance, Explicit Swears would give +2 Grace and Not Swearing At All would give either Shame or Acceptance. It’s not super dramatic though, but it would help with the faith_check issue by giving more opportunities to raise a stat.
- I picked the Exploring route on my first playthrough, but I think after replays that the Back to Church one is sliiiightly more interesting with how much more we learn about our situation (although I love that creepy possessed doll). Also as much as a character like Ash is very interesting and I can’t wait to see more of them, I have to say I find Jude really really intriguing. I hope we’ll have the chance to learn more about what was discovered in the other route later on!
- That line where the MC starts comparing themselves to a dog and then decides a swine is much better— on a second read? Holy shit
CHAPTER 2
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That vision of the lake, the mountains and the aurora… I wonder if those are symbolic of the three different possible Marks, huh. The Serpent for the Lake, the Ram for the Mountains, the Raven for the Aurora. Interesting.
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Alright. If Chapter One drew me in with the feeling of the world, Chapter Two just… Blew me away. Fernwood is like an entire horror movie tucked between two chapters, and it WORKS. This is where the world truly starts to be drawn clear, but also who our main character is, what their motivations are, how did they get here. Major spoilers for Chapter 2 underneath:
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It’s a horrifying read, but also an excellent homage to folk horror, specifically a mix of Hansel and Gretel and the VVitch. Kind of Black Philip cameo!!! I loved how it played with our expectations though, so even if you are familiar with it (and other media it reminded me of like Carrie with the mother/daughter relationship, Greedfall, etc etc), the twists still really really work. And holy shit. The slow rise of uneasy disbelief as I started suspecting my own Mom more and more until I finally got the suspects_mom variable. Having the payoff for noticing the missing salt. The insanely effective Pig Intro callback, much more evocative than if it had been a simple gorey description played straight. The action picking up all at once but never slowing down afterwards, leaving us out of breath like we’re watching a good horror movie finale. Or or or!!! When our Mom stabs our Dad in front of us!!! There are so many moments that are pure highlights for me, that left my jaw on the floor (although the Abijah/Pig scene is now my Hereditary Car scene of IFs, thank you, I can’t stop thinking about it). The gore itself also never seems completely gratuitous but remains shocking, because your writing never loses empathy for your characters and horror never feels like some sick punishment— it’s just well-made horror, a blend of fear and disgust and sorrow, and you truly have a way with writing horror. This is easily one of my favorite chapters in IFs I think, and I feel like you truly found your voice for this story. Now I’m really, really hooked. Sorry! I live in this thread now.
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After trying out the three different final routes (fields/house/tunnels), I’ll say that after the one with the fields… I mean, Mammy almost had the time to spell it out for us. I gasped out loud. I don’t think the story of our birth is exactly true, now, is it?
I commend you for being the very author that made me picking the most boring appearance options (brown hair brown eyes) pay off with just one more little clue (I think?? Am I going crazy??). Yeahhh… I’m starting to get a picture as to why our little MC was the one who had to survive, why everything starts exactly when we’re about to grow up, why the Devil has so much interest in us. -
Falling into bushes and getting out with a Crown of Thorns™, YASSSSSSSS, and then being saved by “divine intervention” during our execution, OKAYYYYYYY WITCH JESUS
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I picked bald_insecurity to kick my poor Mercy when she was down and then turns out… It’s not just stress now, is it? Is it horns about to come out? That good ole witch’s curse that makes you bald? After reading Chapter 2 I have so many questions and I do noooooot trust the Devil. Which is one of the most obvious sentences of all time.
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I absolutely love the three Marks and can barely make a definitive choice yet (maybe leaning slightlyyyy towards Serpent just for the Eve and/or Britney Spears extravaganza) I’m really curious if the choice will define a different powerset in the future.
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I have to say I really, really liked to notice that you had separated present stats and past stats. I didn’t have to worry about “keeping it consistent” with my adult MC, it allowed me to truly imagine what her personality was once upon a time (read: a whole brat), and it makes it all the more heartbreaking to compare to how she is as an adult. I ended up a complete opposite to Child Me, minus the Dread. Dread remains. Dread always remains. It’s my witch’s intuition
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“It’s my birthday today” and the conversation with Pappy at the very end… My heart broke in a million pieces
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Fully delusional in my refusal to accept Clement died because I didn’t see a body
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Small issue with the female route of Fernwood, but when we reunite with our parents and prepare to fight Sue, the black dagger is mentioned as if we’ve already seen it and know where it comes from. I very much had never seen it before! It’s only when code diving that I realized it was during the male chores scene and understood why I was so confused.
It’s been a little while since this thread has been updated, but I hope you know you’re writing something really special and I’ll be there excitedly waiting for updates. I can’t wait to see where this story is going. I’m super excited to be on the road, to neet the possessed kid, to learn more about Jude and Ash and all the others who will be with us, to figure out what’s up with the Rot… I do realize that it was finals season recently though, so it’s super understandable if you didn’t have much time to sit and write yet (and don’t pressure yourself!) (also I hope they went well). If Fernwood was any indicator, I can just imagine the monster that Hearthsend must be to write.
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Oh wow, huge thank you for the in-depth feedback!!
I appreciate the good wishes as well. You’ve given me plenty of things to consider. So far, I’ve already implemented the additional warning label, a brief clothing description for MC in chp 1, and the same for Jude. I’ve also expanded the scene in chp 2 where the father checks on the female MC, which now has the player notice the dagger. (These changes will not be added to the playable demo until the next update.)
The notes for the variables will take me more time to consider, since changing their values will significantly affect that chapter.
The gender option will also take me time to consider how to implement, since at the start of the game, the MC has yet to have the opportunity to change their gender. This plan is set for chapter 4, and I am trying to figure out if there is a way I can better explain or set it up in the intro. Lots to think on, but it’ll be worth it to make sure players can happily navigate that without confusion!
I also have to praise your intuition, you’ve caught up on a lot, including two significant inspirations that I’ve rarely mentioned (The VVitch, and Carrie)!
Lastly, I just want to thank you for the praise. You’re very kind! And comparing the pig’s head scene to the Hereditary car scene is crazy, I can still remember how disturbed I was when I first watched that film! I’m very flattered.
As for progress, the only child/ Hearthsend route is underway. I’m not nearly as far as I’d prefer to be, but the good news is that I’ve been chipping away at it, and fairly soon I’ll be comfortable discussing when to expect the next update!
Oh! Also, since you mentioned the chapter titles as a playlist, and I can’t believe I haven’t linked it here yet, but I do have them as a playlist that people can listen to! Here it is for Spotify, and here it is for YouTube Music.
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Imagine the culinary masterpieces that Gensai and Sue could cook up if Samurai of Hyuga did a crossover with The Mark of the Devil
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Thank you for the fan art, @SchLoZo!! I know I replied on other social media already, but I gotta say that I love your take on Sue, and as someone who is already a fan of your work, it’s blowing my mind that you made something for TMOTD! Huge thanks again!
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