The Last Wizard

nonbinary-inclusive
high-fantasy
gender-choice

#305

Lucid, i think you mistyped a little. All sources state 185k, not 285.


#306

185k, I meant.

A playthrough is like 35k or something. The replayability should be huge. My coding is relatively efficient, so seeing roughly 17% on a playthrough means that the story can change drastically with your choices.


#307

I’m off on a fishing trip for a few days, so I’ll be away from the threads. I might get a spot of wifi to peak in, but it’ll be rough.

Just so you know that I’m not ignoring anyone. Have fun everyone!

Feel free to keep chatting in here. I’ll do my best to read it when I get home. Play nice. :slight_smile:


#308

Well tell that to Raven she let me hanging because I didn’t want go dance with herin the middle of the battle And that let me hanging without romance. Maybe was a bug or something… Then I am sorry. But was the most bizarre situation ever. I had already banged her and that …

Cold prince was easy to romance and okay. I marry him so i was a sort of queen. that was my first play…
Then was Raven break that letme angry so angry that i didn’t replay anymore


#309

Have a great trip and catch all the fish


#310

Actually, this interests me from the moment you said it before.
Can you recall when this happens? I haven’t tried to romance Revin/Raven yet, so I can’t tell anything about this situation.


#311

Pretty sure your game broke because I was still able to romance her after I didn’t want to dance with her.


#312

It could be a glitch then… I should try to replay her romance and see lol I hope she doesn’t break my heart again


#313

Exactly what i did. Had to get the girl Lucid. Had to.


#314

Just finished my first playthrough of the demo of The Last Wizard, and it was pretty much like I’d expected. That’s not a good thing.

@Lucid I really enjoyed Life of a Mobster, even with the flat characters, but for some reason none of your fantasy titles have managed to draw me in. This specific one could have benefited a lot from a few more rounds of beta-testing, and more thorough revisions.

My review is harsh at many points, which is a shame. I’d like to not find any flaws in anything created by this community, but I do. Hope you won’t take it personally.


Below is my step-by-step playthrough of the demo, described in detail. Might be interesting to take a look at for the full experience. Will post a summary of the more glaring structural issues that caught my attention below that.

Thoughts while playing through the demo for the first time. Contains spoilers.

Me playing through the demo:

The game starts with a statement of me, as the main character, having fallen off the face of the Earth. Okay. Do I get to see, feel, or experience any of it? No. Is it somehow relevant that it was Tuesday? No.

I have apparently never seen trees like the ones I’m surrounded by, but is it described what they actually look like? No. When you put me, or any other reader in a situation like this, and the shape of the leaves on the tree matter, please tell us what they actually look like.

This goes on for pretty much the rest of the demo, so I’ll try to only point out the most glaring things.

I’m apparently naked here. Bit cringey, but okay. Could make for an interesting plot point. Next important choice is a gender one. Nudity is mentioned, but not necessary for either the choice or the scene.

Next page. Hey, people. Is this were the nudity does something of importance? … Apparently not. The MC is described as feeling uncomfortable, but none of the NPCs bat as much as an eyelid about it.

Unrelated: Next interesting question is preference choice. Which honestly is a bit of a letdown. 1. I do not find a character who’s described as attractive, but not shown to be, attractive. 2. Asexuality is mixed up with being aromantic. In the context of a scene telling you about the “attractiveness” of an NPC’s appearance, why would anyone comment on them not feeling romantic attraction? If you must include it, at least make it a comment about them not feeling physical attraction, so it makes some kind of sense in the context it’s presented in.

Also, I’m not attracted to all people. What kind of weirdo am I supposed to be? :no_mouth:

Well, now she notices. Had expected at least a blank-eyed stare, and the sensible question of “Why are you naked?”


Okay. That was a very jarring transition to flashback. At this point I’m not interested at all in how the MC got here. I’m hardly interested in the here. Time to look at the stats.

googles cerebral

thinks long and hard about why the author used such an unnecessarily obscure word for a stat

Great. A friend I don’t know, but need to assume is my friend because the game tells me so.

Flashback to childhood bully, pretty much out of the blue. Do not understand why any of this is relevant this far. Apparently they’re the same person as your current supervisor. That might be relevant information if I’d known they were the same person beforehand.


Transition back to the now. Why the flashback cut off at that point, I don’t know. Neither do I know why the flashback was relevant in the first place. Let’s move on.

Get told I had a bad day before. Did I? I didn’t feel any of those negative emotions the game tells me I had, but surely the game knows better than me. /s

This would be great for a let’s play. Most of these choices really bring out my “What the heck is going on here, and how is this relevant” responses.

Page of exposition that could easily be cut in half without it losing any relevant information.

Still awkward about being naked, but it still seems pretty irrelevant. Glad I picked the cloak.

Could there be an option to not drink wine? Don’t personally like it, but there’s no option to refuse without appearing rude.

Now I got clothes, and the nudeness didn’t have any purpose other than to cause discomfort and be played for laughs. Not substantial enough of a reason to be justified. Also, feeling uncomfortable in fiction sucks. Can’t get into character like this.

Skipping the pages of background information. If it contained something relevant, it would’ve been mentioned in the actual story.

Another unnecessarily long page of exposition.

You know these aren’t powered by electricity.

Know how? My new wizard senses kicking in? Fourth grade physicas class? Unicorn science? It wouldn’t hurt to be more specific than this, in this case. (Once again, most of the other exposition can be cut without any averse effects.)

All magical books are gone. Well, okay. I don’t care. Now let’s go save the stereotypical good guys, which I don’t have any reason to like, from the stereotypical bad guys, of which I don’t know enough to dislike.


Another random flashback. Still don’t know why they’re relevant. At this point I’m beginning to suspect they aren’t.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for the MC?


At least this was a short one. Still not relevant to the story at hand in any way.

Princess Destiny leads you to a nice-looking tavern.

Please tell me what makes it looks nice, if that matters at all.
Also, what a naming choice. The Chosen One meant to save us all, perhaps?

Unfortunately, the common people would be enslaved. But what is worse, to be repressed or to be dead?"

This is so frustrating. Finally some information I’m actually interested in, but I’m not shown any of it. No escaped Burkk commoners, not even tales of what is so horrible about being enslaved by the Burkk empire. Come on, @Lucid. You can do better than this. Show me why I should care.

You know the princess is referring to her younger sibling, Princess Ada.

No, I don’t. First time I’ve heard of her. This sentence would have made a lot of sense if she’d been pointed out to me during the meeting with the queen.

Finally some real action.

Raise my cloak into the air to obscure the man’s shot.

Pretty sure the man’s shot isn’t what’s obscured in this situation.

He reloads his weapon, then takes his time lining up a clear shot. time approaching you.

Self-explanatory.

Did I fail? Did I win? Everyone is alive, at least.

The guard is a strong-looking woman. She is a little older than you and looks very tough.

Strong-looking. Tough. Neither of these words actually tells me what the woman looks like.

“We’re lucky they didn’t send Shade, or you’d both be dead by now. He’s the best assassin in the land, but he’s also the most expensive. It’s a good thing the Burkks sent their cheap thugs instead of their best killer.”

You basically tell that this Shade is the best assassin in the land thrice in three sentences. It’s redundant.

One of the windows has a few pieces of shredded paper hovering in it.

The protections placed upon the wizard’s library have not been entirely eradicated. Although Tibranna had been able to tear the books to shreds, you find that you cannot. Also, despite being destroyed, the papers hover at the window; they still cannot leave the tower.

You pull the papers free from where they float so you can see the cityscape below. The shredded papers are everywhere; they act as a constant reminder of the power that had almost been yours.

These are a lot of sentences to describe there’s paper everywhere, and that it can’t leave the tower.

This is the harbor that the Burkk Empire wants to control so badly.

Sure, narrator. If you say so.

You make another interesting discovery. Although you can read the words on the scraps, the writing is gibberish to Melanie and the others. You are the only one with the potential to learn the magic.

Yes, this totally wasn’t explained by Melanie before.

The journal from the ancient wizard begins with her writing about how she misses her home. She speaks about places you’ve never heard of before, and you come to the conclusion that she didn’t come from Earth. She writes about reading through the many journals from the wizards before her and says she hopes to live up to their great deeds.

This scene would be a lot stronger if you made me, as the reader, read the actual passage from the journal. I’m from earth too. Not like I’d be unable tell the difference.

“Over my dead body,” she says angrily.

The “angrily” is already implied by the text. No need to tell me.

Financial squabbles. Wonderful.

“It’s the fishing boats,” Queen Ruby continues. “We’ve lost four of them in the last couple of days. I have no doubt that this is a Burkk ploy. They’re trying to soften us up before a full-blown invasion. Hells, if they can cause enough harm, they might be able to take Duroth without a fight. I won’t let that happen.”

Princess Destiny told me the queen didn’t care, and now she’s holding a passionate speech about how “She won’t let that happen.” Consistency.

Isn’t the demo supposed to end at some point? Haven’t noticed any chapter ends, but it feels like I’ve gotten pretty far into the story. What’s going on here?

“And if you actually find the spy, I guess I’m here to keep you both safe,” Jasmine says, although she doesn’t look too keen about it.

The unqualified soldier is here to save the day.

The final solution falls together quickly from there, once you learn that a single rock barracuda eats dozens of sea-termites a day. Queen Ruby commissions several traders to bring the ugly-looking fish into the harbor, and the rest of the fishing fleet is saved.

Australia. This reminds me so much of what happened in Australia. Please don’t let exotic species roam free in habitats they don’t belong, people.


More random flashback.

“Maybe you should lodge a complaint?”

My boyfriend wondered the same thing.
My husband wondered the same thing.
My girlfriend wondered the same thing.
My wife wondered the same thing.
I’m single.

The last option isn’t even an answer to the question asked.

Still no information on what purpose they serve, story-wise.


Back to the now again.

The pace picks up after the zombies and the explosive barrels. Was about time.

Demo cutoff point. Finally.

Structural issues. Also contains spoilers.

There is one big issue with the structure of the game as is shown in the demo. Those are the flashbacks. They’re abrupt. They feel obnoxious. There’s no logical transition between the “Now” of the story and the “Then” of the flashbacks. It reads more like someone cut snippets out of one book, and directly pasted those into another at random places.

You, as the author, probably know why they’re relevant, and placed at the points they’re placed. I, as the reader, don’t. This results in me not caring about anything that happens during them, or any of the characters that are introduced. That’s not something an author should want.


My second big point is this: Why does the MC have to start out naked? It doesn’t add anything substantial to the game at all. The locals would still stare at me, even without the nudity. As it is, it’s like the game is purposely aimed toward making me feel uncomfortable. It makes it close to impossible to slip into the skin of the main character, at least up until the point she gets handed a set of clothes.


Now a little something about the stats. I generally like it when games only have a few stats, but this one missed the mark by making the four stats act like opposed pairs. I’ll give an example from the code.

*choice
#Punch the creature before it reaches me.
*set tough +10
*set cerebral -10
Your fist connects with the creature’s jaw and sends a jolt all the way up your arm. The monster crumples at your feet and begins to hiss angrily.
*goto Others_Look_Up
#Dodge the creature.
*set agile +10
*set cerebral -10
The creature leaps into the air as you step aside. Its long fingers brush against your skin as it falls to the ground behind you.
*goto Others_Look_Up
#Put my hands up to show that I am harmless.
*set charming +10
*set tough -10
You raise your hands and step back. The creature slows down as it approaches you.
*goto Others_Look_Up
#Think of a plan.
*set cerebral +10
*set tough -10
You are outnumbered, and you’ve just intruded upon their feeding.
*goto Others_Look_Up

It makes no sense whatsoever that dodging an attack would decrease your intelligence. Or that thinking of a plan would decrease your strength. Please, do not do this, no matter how convenient it may seem from a mechanics point of view.


Lastly, there is a lot of unnecessary exposition in this game. There are so many details I’m told about that simply don’t matter. This alone is enough to make the demo difficult to read, but it gets worse. The few times when details would matter, they’re told, not shown. An early example of this (first page) are the leaves on the trees the MC starts at. You can find this, and other quoted sections of the game containing these flaws, in the full description of the playthrough.

Didn’t note nearly all of them, unfortunately. It gets too repetitive.


I’d love to care about this game. Near the end of the demo, when the pace picks up, it gets close to being enjoyable. If I hadn’t been taking these notes, I wouldn’t have bothered reading that far, though. Hope this review is helpful in some way.

Also, a book suggestion, for whoever is interested. Link. It’s technically a book on writing, but also enjoyable to read when you’re not focused on that.


#315

I’m going to level with you here: At no point do the flashbacks ever feel relevant and the transitions never stop being as jarring and sudden as a car crash.


#316

Actually that’s exactly what happens or you need enough charm to convince her if you’re not.


#317

Funny thing that flashbacks actually totally make sense if you decide to return home. You gonna be transported back into bad situation your mc was summoned from and you gonna have chance to deal with it using some of powers you acquired in Daria
But I agree that they can feel out of place on other pathes.


#318

Is it weird that in my head cannon, evertree is included in the Lucid Verse?


#319

Nice, how you do that? Will be a sequel of this one i heard, it’s true no?


#320

Well… i am a office worker who need to find the traitor among the company , not sure how Magic will help unless we have some sort of Divination or i can charm my co-worker into taking the blame , or just charm the boss into believing me :smile:

but i suppose in the real world Healing should be the most powerful , imagining i have the power to heal all terminal illness and apply healing to return the youth ( regeneration) of rich and powerful people , well … basically we can start a religion of our own with such power , since we ultimately determine the lifespan and who deserve to be saved with our power :slight_smile:


#321

Yeah, I remember charm and healing being usable on student path. But it also implied that our power will fade with time.


#322

Hi, i tried all R.O.s and i was successful with each one. However, i repeatedly failed Princess/Queen Destiny. How do you approach her? Is it with high intelligence?


#323

Is Maci an R.O.? It seems there was a brief encounter but i didn’t find her in the later scenes.


#324

Below you can see the list of romance options, unfortunately for you, that means that this Maci is not a romance option. Unless Maci is a nickname for one of the characters below.

I cannot help you with your other questions, my apologies.