The Harbinger's Reign Very Short Alpha WIP

Hosted Games Works In Progress
1

Hey everyone, i just started my first demo and i want your feedbacks. This game now only consist of a short prologue and i want to know your thought about the game. Here is the demo; CoGDemos. Thanks!

18 Likes
2

Right now, the demo is a bit too short to really give an opinion. My advice would be to post a synopsis on your opening post, so we might have a better idea of what kind of story youā€™re writing.

Very small detail, but you might want to provide a few feminine ā€˜defaultā€™ names for the players picking that gender. Aside from Alex that can work for both, itā€™s clear the default assumption right now is a male MC given the suggested first names.

11 Likes
3

Thank you for your feedbacks Talyrion :grinning_face:

1 Like
4

The transition to the classroom was a little abrupt. But superpower stories are aways welcome.

You could, I donā€™t know, throw some ā€œogre battleā€ style questions to the player to make the story more interactive. I dunno.

Anyways whats your goal here, ā€œmodernā€ supe story? (itā€™s dark) Or light-hearted? Mysterious, or classy silver age superhero style??

Helps to get a feel kn how the world is, so we can be wholesome in an word of dakrness. Or Grimderp in a cartoon superhero show world lol, this will help we, the readers, to connect with our M.C. ( also you can addy sume options that reflect motivations, desires, and fearsā€¦

5

Make shorter paragraphs and space them out to better read, use page_breaks and better define whats happening.

Add female names.

Too short to say anything about the content. Id call this an alpha if anything.

1 Like
6

Definitely need summary

7

I donā€™t see any major problem in the demo itself, it looks like a fine start. A decent chunk of the paragraphes could use to be seperated into smaller paragraphes Iā€™d say.

You should probably rewrite your opening post with a synopsis and features (Just copy pasting the standard opening post format should be fine) to get more people to try the demo.

1 Like
8

Thank you for your feedback. What i had in my mind is a modern superpower story where both magic and technologies can co-exist together, but overall, itā€™s all still messy ideas.

2 Likes
9

Thank you for your feedback :grinning_face:

1 Like
10

Noted!

1 Like
11

Thank you for your kind words :grinning_face:. Still searched for an idea about the synopsis, though :sweat_smile:

2 Likes